Boy fiascos, octupus fights and cowboy hoedowns!
by silentdreamsinthisheartx
Summary: Set after SITNOP, Dave and Georgia make a bet to see who can last longer without snogging eachother. A new girl, partys and boy decisions makes georgias school year one funny and mixed up hoedown! Please review its my first fanfic :D completed
1. Gorillas have big red bottoms!

_**A/N: I don't own characters :) Louise Rennison does.**_

_**This took me hours to do then I nearly lost it because of the selfishosity of some people wanting to use my laptop: O Hope it's not too bad, it's my first ever attempt at fanfic. By the way this is set after SITNOP.**_

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**Gorillas have big red bottoms!**

Saturday 17th September

_**All aloney on my owney**_

_Sacre bleu! _Why does Baby Jesus and Lord Sandra enjoy putting me onto the rack of lurvee and making me a regular customer at the cake shop of aggers?

Blimey o'Riley I only did the twist with Dave the Laugh and the Luuurve God has got into his Italian huff mobile and is now _ignorez-vous_ing me even though he has plighted his troth to _moi._

Now I am all aloney on my owney on the curb.

I knew i should of saved Our Lord Sandra from libby, he know looks like a younger version of my prozzie mutti i.e fake tan, purple mascara and a frock.

Im vair vair sorry Baby Jesus for damanging you by letting my madnosity personified little sister make your vati into a transvestite.

I understand how emotionally scar-ring it is to have a transvestite vati.

_**2 seconds later **_

Gadzooks!

Why in the name of Slims chin city has Our Lord Sandra put a rock on the curb that is currently sticking up my bum-oley?

_**10 minutes later **_

Oh _merde _here come's Jazzy Spazzy.

Here we go a Jas lecture about how I need to eschew with a firm hand (oo-er!) the call of the hooornnn! And succumb to the ways of the ramble couple.

Erlack! I don't want me and Dave to be a Jas'n'Tom.

_**1 second later **_

Hang on a minute!

I mean I don't want me and _Masimo _to become a Jas'n'Tom.

MASIMO who I have plighted my troth too and who has plighted their troth to me …

…so why in the name of baby Jesus sandals with socks, did I say Dave? Ah get out of my head Dave the so-called Laugh.

_**1 minute later**_

Ah _merde _with all the rambling I have in my head I almost forgot Mrs Vole coming towards me.

Gadzooks where is Jas's spaceship to take her away when you need it?

Or Hunky would do, she would get too caught up in talking the ways of Voles with him, or snogging.

Erlack a Pongoes! I do not need that in my head. Get out of my head Jas, your spaceship to take you back to Vole City does not belong in my head.

_**5 minutes later**_

_Sacre Bleu!_

I don't believe it, Jas my best pallie wallie who says I am a promoscious tart and hates my big red bottom, which I personally don't get because gorillas have vair big red bottoms and she loves all animals.

I even impress myself with my tres super cleverosity, see I don't understand why Hawkeye oppresses me so much, I am so obviously vair filled with cleverosity.

I shouldn't feel bad though she hates all girls, as she does go away on "courses" which we all know is code for girl baiting lessons. Brain, shut up! Any who, Jas said:

"Has Masimo dumped you then? "Vair nice I thought for my bested chumette.

"Well aren't you brimming with positivity Jazzy Spazzy, no the Luuurve God has not taken his troth away from me, he is merely in his Italian huff mobile with me as you vair well know as you were standing there watching the nearly fisticuffs at dawn with Dave the Laugh, so Mrs Vole why dont you act like a bestest chummete for once be a Vole with sensitiviosity ."

And as usual when I am making vair good sense Jas just looked at me.

"Stop doing that staring at me fandango you spoon of the first water !" I said to her nearly having a spaz attack.

Of course Jas got all stroppy and shirty with _moi _and nearly hit number 4 on the f.t scale, the "losing it" scale for the chums and chummettes who are dim minxes and dont know what it means, oh and number 4 is a visit to Strop Central.

Then she suddenly just grabbed my arm, she is _tres_ violent and dragged me along like a dragger along person. Where is Jazzy Spazzy taking me?

_**2 minutes later **_

Gadzooks!

I just heard Dave the laughs voice around the corner. That sly cheeky little minx that is Jas! She's taking me to Dave the Laugh.

Hmm I wonder what Po is planning.

_**1 minute**_

Even though I love the Luuurve God I have to say Dave looks vair gorgey and gravy groovy.

He reeks of naughtiness in a devil sort of way.

Oo-er!

When he stopped in front of me he just stared. Gadzooks what is it with my friends and doing that "staring at me" fandango?

Ohmygiddygodpyjamas im going to become a div, I decided I would have the upper whatsit for once.

"Dave, I know I am a Sex Kitty of the first waters, but can you please talk to me with that thing you use to snog with (oo-er!)"

He continued looking at me for a few seconds before he grinned at me, phwoar he has a yummy scrumboes grin, shut up brain!

We are trying to talk not have our own private rambling session.

I raised my eyebrows at him, so he rose his further, and no he did not lift them up with his hand for you vair dim people.

Then I did my vair wise nod. Jas was doing that "staring at me, staring at Dave thing" Then Dave the Laugh said:

"You are a great Kittykat loon" and started to laugh like a loon on loon tablets which he is. Oh great now I can't help at laugh at his loon laughing.

_**10 minutes later**_

I can't believe Jazzy Spazzy!

She has just vair rudely pushed us into a bush!

The cheeky minx said to us as she ran away "You two need to talk so Georgia can extinguish her big red bottom"

How vair rude is that? Talking about my red bottom-ness, it is throbbing now that she mentioned it, its embarrassed about being talked about by a Vole Bride. Or it could be throbbing from the evil stone that Our Lord Sandra made stick up my bum-oley.

Shh brain.

She is getting tres violent, a duffing up fandango may be in order Monday, and isn't it Dave who does this bush pushing fandango? I looked over at him. He looks as vair shocked as two shocked things as I do, although he pulls of the goldfish look better than I do.

Down lips, down!

**Still in bush, with Dave The Laugh**

Vair awkward silence.

Hmm this is almost as bad as Po's phone calls.

_**1 minute later**_

"Kittykat…"

"Dave…"

We both laughed softly which is vair strange if you think about it, considering 20 or something minutes ago we were laughing like two laughing people at a laughing convention.

Oh shut up brain.

I think my brain thinks its got a season ticket for Loonland in the universe of loons on loon tablets.

"Look Kittykat, I know I might have caused Masimo to be in full Humpty Dumpty mood with you, seriously Gee is vair oversensitive I supposed that comes with being an Italian Homosexualist with a handbag, anyways my point is that I am sorry for that Gee but I really like you, and I know we could be great together. I know you have Masimo so you don't need to act on what I said, but I need to know how you feel, as I am a very gorgeous Biscuit "

Blimey o'Riley! That is too much information for one day. It was now my turn to do the staring fandango.

_**2 minutes later**_

Still staring at Dave the Laugh like a staring fool, which I am.

Hmm do I like Dave? Well he is the Hornmeister and king of the Pants! He is vair gorgey and nice and mad personified. But then there is the Italian Stallion. Hmm I am not sure who I like more but I definitely like Dave but in a lurvee way or friendy type persons.

"Dave… I do like you but I am not sure who I like more, you or Masimo. I mean you are vair nice and gorgey but I don't know if it's my cosmic horn or something."

Ohmygiddygodspyjamas!

Why are my lips saying what my fool of a brain says while rambling? It's like their programmed to say what my brain rambles, but wows that actually vair nearly made sense.

Oh hum pigs bum.

Dave looks very Dave the Un-laugh.

"Wow Kittykat you actually like me. Well who wouldn't I mean come on look at me I am groovy gravy and vair gorgey porgey?" Cheeky cat. Yummy Scrumboes there's that gorgey porgey grin again.

"You have a vair big head Dave"

"Just means there is even more of me to like Kittykat!"

I just did the staring fandango with him, before bursting out like a bursting balloon filled with laughs on laugh tablets. So he started laughing like a loon on loon tablets. We looked like we belonged in a laughing institute. Once we both stopped laughing like loons, Dave said:

"Ooh I just thought of an idea Kittykat, let's have a bet to see who can go the longest without snogging each other, and this would help you see that I am vair better, especially at snogging"

He really is mad personified, well not as bad as Sven the Viking reindeer. Gadzooks! Who can go longest without snogging each other? His brain must be as filled with rambles and madosity as much as mine. I raised my eyebrows at him.

"Are you serious? "

"Of course, have you ever known me to be an unserious fool?" again I just had to raise my eyebrows at that. But that still didn't stop him.

_**1 minute later**_

Maybe this will be a good idea, to work out who I like more, the Luuurve God or the Laugh God.

Laugh God

Where the hell did that come from? Brain you are vair bad for making up your own words, naughty naughty brain.

Ohmygiddygodspyjamas! I have gone vair mad.

"You are so on Mr Laugh, what do I get if I win? "

Ohmygiddygodspyjamas!

Calling all parts i.e. you lips! Ignore my brain when it's rambling! It is the reason for my weird fandangos.

Need to have girdey loins! girdey loins!

"Ooh Sex Kitty, we both know you cant resist me so its more what you will do for me if I win… and seeing as I am a nice person brimming to the top with niceness, I will warn you it may include heavy snogging… like this" Phwoaaar the lip nibbling king strikes again!

_**5 minutes later**_

Yummy Scrumboes! Dave the Laugh really is a genius of Snogging.

He must have a degree in Snogging, if he did I bet it's highest you can get.

Ah shut up you spoon of a brain.

Dave the Laugh pulled away and looked at me, ah NO stop stopping would you?

"The competition starts here Kittykat! tatty bye " then gave me a quick kiss and ran away.

And that's when I fell over a rock and into a bush. Stupid Dave he hadn't made me go jelloid, so my legs were barely working when Lord Sandra placed a rock in front of my feet and tripped me up.

You know your life is vair bad when even rocks hate you, rocks are now going to scare me for life, I mean I might need bodyguards to protect me from any angry rocks.

Mm I wonder if Dave the Laugh would.

Ah get out of my head Dave, I was talking about rocks not fools on madosity personified tablets which Dave is.

**Walking home **

Oh fabbity fab, guess who I have to pass to get home?

For the vair dim, he has a vair big gob.

Yes Mark Big Gob, an ex-snoggee, which memories of that is stored in a cellar locked away in my brain with the key thrown away into Unable to Find Again Land.

Oh great my nunga-nungas are heaving up and down. Oh even more marvy Mark Big Gob is now staring at them.

"Woah calm down girls, I know you're excited to see me" MBG said.

"Mark no girl is excited to see you, let alone my nunga-nungas because you have a mouth the size of Jupiter and oh yeah and you're a _merde _snog."

Hahaha, my quick thinking and intellectual-osity, shocked him vair muchly that his Big Gob was hanging out doing the famous "goldfish expression".

Muhahaha!

**Walking in the living room **

Erlack!

Why do my mutti and vati insist on showing me unstable loon porn?

This is going to cost millions of squids in later life in therapy. They must have a pager thing that lets them know when I am about to walk in the door and start this grossosity form of porn. I warmly let them aware of my prescience.

"Mutti and vati, you cheeky minxes your favourite daughter is back so could you stop your Elderly Unstable Loon porn?"

"Don't be so cheeky! Go to your room" Mutti said while throwing her socks at me.

What lovely mutti she is, throwing her erlack a pongoes socks at me, well I should be thankful they weren't vati's smalls.

That would of scared me for life.

Gadzooks and lack-a-day they've started again, I may forgive them seeing as they have been drinking the _vino tino_.

**In my bed of confusosity **

In my "bed" which of course means nothing to Libby.

Her and her "fwiends" came bursting in my room like loons shouting "GINGEYY! I am here!" not her "fwiends" because for the vair dim they cant speak and are also taking up all the room in "my bed". Honestly Libby's "fwiends" are vair filled with selfishiosity.

To top it all of, i have a visitor other than Libby and her "fwiends". The painters are in, and no for the vair dim and slight fules and I say that with much lurrvee, I do not mean painters suddenly burst in my room and started painting like painting things at a painting convention, I mean my period. Ho Hum Pigs Bum. Vair poonosity.

_**2 minutes later**_

"Bibs sweetie can you get out of Gingey's bed? It's my bed"

"Its naaa-iiice bed"

"But its mine bibs!"

"SHH BAD BOY" and hit me over the head with Cross Eyed Gordy.

It's seriously a mugs game trying to get Bibs out of "my" bed. Gadzooks! I can't even lie in my bed of confusosity without being hit or one of Libby's "fwiends" up my bum-oley. Aw but she does look vair sweet in her sleep.

_**3 minutes later**_

You know your life is _merde _and poonosity when you reach nummber three on the snogging scale i.e goodnight kiss for the slightly dim with a cat. Have a guessaroonie who made me do that. Yep, Bibbs the madnosity personified toddly type person.

_**1 minute later**_

Ohmygiddygodspyjamas!

My bum-oley is in aggers, its all Dave the Laughs fault if he didn't make me jelloid i wouldnt of fallen on my poor bum-oley.

Although there is definitley a _je ne sais quoi_ about brain stop rambling.

It's like a bum-oley problem cases in this bed, mines in aggers and hurts like billio and Libby's is vair vair nippy noodles and so not fabbity-fab.

_**2 minutes later**_

Ah I will never get to sleep now thanks to Dave the Laugh….zzzzzzzzzzz

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_Well I don't think that was too bad for _**first attempt ever, **_please review so I know if it's any good and what I can do to be better :) and if you really don't like it I will delete it. I know im being a vair cheeky minx but its not selfishness really its all for you brillopad readers ! 6 pages :D Don't know when I will next be able to update because I've got my early gcse exam on Monday and Friday so I will be vair busy chummetes. Tatty bye! Lurrvee you all muchly xxx _


	2. A Trouser With a Laugh Spaz

_**A/N I don't own the characters :( Louise Rennison does.**_

_**Btw just to let you know the bits in bold is Georgia's Brain talking to her, i just liked the idea of a part Georgia's brain talking to her and Georgia telling it to shut up as she does quite a lot.**_

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**A LaughingTrouser With a Laugh Spaz!**

**Sunday 18th September**

_**8:00 am **_

Woke up to Mr Potato and Cross Eyed Gordy staring at me, well technically one of Gordy's eyes was on me the other was staring like a staring thing in a staring competition at a staringconvention at the ceiling.

_**I minute later **_

Ow bloody aggers!

Angus was hiding at the bottom of "my" bed and when I due to the selfishosity of Libby not telling me that angus was there which would of made up for her _tres _scary way of waking me. Angus is doing the typico attacking my foot when I move, does he actually think it's a mouse or something.

Blimey o'Riley.

_**10 minutes later **_

Had a healthy deliciousosity breakfast of a cold sausage, milky pops and one jammy dodger.

Gadzooks I am surprised I haven't got scurvy, which would be disastrous personified as Doctor Libby and her medical nurses Our Lord Sandra and scuba diving barbie would feel it was necessary to "nurse me".

Which means poking me and surroundingme with her "fwiends" to snoggle.

Ah what larks!

_**11:45 pm **_

_Tres enneyeux _day. Spent most of time in my bed with Libbs forcingme to snuggle up to her fwiends.

No phone calls from the Ace Gang, how vair selfish and uncaring is that?

Their bestest chumettehas maybe had her troth given back from the trothee i.e. Masimo and is in once again on the rack of lurvee.

Do they not care?

They are vair cheeky minxes.

_**12:00am **_

Oh Masimo!

In the words of Billy Shakespeare and Merry England, where for art thou Masimo?

I finally get the LurveeGod and then Dave the laugh just had to seduce me to the ways of the Cosmic Horn. Well technically it wasn't Cosmic Horn it was just twisting.

Vair marvy twisting, but twisting all the same.

It was Masimo's jealousy that led to the near fisticuff at dawn.

Ho hum pigs bum.

In one way that's good because I know he lurrvees me if he was jealous but on the other hand he gets the green eyed monster which could be vair annoyingas me and Dave are vair close, and it would be _tres _awkward if he doesn't like me hanging out with Dave as matey type persons.

Which is what we are.

So why in the name of Our Lord Sandra's beard did I think yesterday that I might lurvee him?

He is vair vair marvy and groovy gravy but he does sound his cosmic horn for the world to see so he would be vair untrustworthy, as well as cheatingon all his girlfriends, besides the point that he cheated with me.

Ah to much rambling in my head, I will never sleep now…zzzz

**Monday – 8:00**

Ah mutti is so selfish and lax; she could not be bothered to wake me up, so now I will haveto be quick with my beauty regime.

Jazzy Spazzy better wait for me, considering how lax and lazy she is being on her bestest pallie duties i.e. carinosity.

She may need a _tres _violent duffingup to make her see that I am she is not tip top on the bestie pallie front.

I think she will appreciate it.

_**8:40 **_

Got to Jas's looking pretty damn good for only 40 minutes to do my natural makeup, Jaswas of course havinga number 8 on the f.t scale i.e. nervy b for the chums that may not know.

"Come on Georgia we're going to be late!"

"Calm down Jazzy Spazzy, since when have I ever got bad conduct marks for being late? "

"Last Friday"

Blimey o'Riley, she's a picky one today.

_**1 minute later**_

Jas is _tres_ violent; I only pushed her in the bush.

**Assembly **

Jas is _ignorez-vous_ing me again.

Even though I gave her a packet of Midget Gems, the cheeky vole ate all of them and still ignored me.

Typico.

**German**

Ah all nice and snugly like two snuggled up things in an who can snugglemore competition in a snuggle building hostinga snuggleconvention inside its snuggle-ness.

Down brain!

I am too vair full of tiredosity to deal with your madosity personified rambles.

**_1 minute later_**

Yay! Red nail polish, very Sex Kitty!

"Ah yes, get back to being a Sex Kitty, Kittykat"

Ah freaky deaky beaky, I just had Dave the Laugh's voice in my head.

Get out of my head mr Laughy laugh loon, you've already confuzzledme enough with your bet talk and telling me you lurvee me.

Rosie then interrupted my brains rambling, thank you Baby Jesus.

"So then _moi_ _petite _fule _et _pallie, what happened after the near fisticuffs at dawn on Friday? "

I'm impressed!

Radio Jas hasn't used her Radio Jas airlines to alert the whole of Merry England and possibly our Kiwi-a-go-go pals to everything I've done.

"Wow, has Radio Jas not been on air to you?" I am truly shocked, she is now vair nearly a bestest pallie.

"Oh no _moi _fule pallie of the first water, Radio Jas told us that she pushed you and Dave the Laugh into a bush, which I personally feel is a _tres _violent side of the vole."

"Oh no poor Jazzy Spazzy, I was almost going to forgive you then your Radio Jas let you down, you really need to eschew it with a firm hand."

Of course she just did the staring fandango at me, and then said:

"What in the name of voles are you on about? "

Gadzooks she really is a spoon of the first water, a vair dim spoon.

"_Moi _forgiving you for realising your inner _tres_violent vole side and pushing _moi_ and _un- _Dave the laugh in a vairprickly and uncomfortable bush!"

"What?" How dim can she be? She gets top marks in subjects, but she can't even understand my simple explanation.

"Jas, you really are a dim fule of the first water"

"Well at least I am not a promiscuous tart!"

That was a vair low as two low things.

"In the words of Gee, stop in the name of pants!"

Ah yes Ro-Rois recognising my genoisity and starting to copy my vair marvy with knobs on words. I knew I wasn't a loon, if only Hawkeye or Slim could see this too, my school life would be nearly almost _perfecto_!

Well except from a certain octopus with extensions. I.e. wet Lindsay for the dim. But no-one counts octopuses as students.

"Now make up and share the lurvee _moi _petite _amis._ Hug, hug, hug!" The Ace Gang joined in so I had a quick hug with Jazzy.

_**1 second later**_

Erlack! Nunga-nunga touching! And being the vair genius I am I shouted out

"Group hug!"

_**1 minute later**_

I think Jool's might have had hugging hysterics as she yelled out:

"All for one and one for all and in the words of Billy Shakespeare and in the name of Merrie England's sailors hornpipe, let-eth us-eth get-eth down-eth to the disco-eth!" ah such larks!

_**5 minutes**_

After we all got over our hugging hysterics, Ellen said or stuttered should I say "So..erm..what did.. you know or maybe not.. happened with you..and…erm Dave the laugh?

Ho hum pigs bum. I thought the "lets go down the disco" marathon would of distracted their spoons of brains. I suddenly felt vair like letting my nunga-nungas( not my actual nungas you spoons I mean letting the truth run free) run wild and free so I told the Ace Gang about the whole bet fandango.

**_1 minute later_**

Jas and Ellen were doing the Goldfish expression.

Ro-Ro, Jools and Mabs were doing the staring fandango.

"I know I am a vair attractivegirl but I don't swing that way so please stop your staring and goldfish expressions" Ha-ha once again I have the upper whatsit.

" Shut up _moi _friend, we are shocked as two shocked agogs in Shocked Agogs Land that you actually admitted to Dave the Laugh that you lurvee him." Ro-Ro said now fully recovered from her supposed shock.

"I don't lurvee him, I said I like him there is a major different, and what do you mean actually admitted?"

Wow! That actually made sense, well done lips; you ignored my fule of a brain. I am vair, vair proud of you.

"I meant the fact that you are in the land of Loving Dave The Laugh but have been too much of a dim spoon of a fule to realise and I mean that lovingly."

"I do not, you are talking complete wubish!"

"Very full of maturosity you complete spoon! Let your pashout for Dave the Laugh and ring out your particular horn, say it with me; YES! YES! AND THRICE YES!"

And she says I am a dim spoon, she is a loon on loon tablets.

"Oh _ja, _Rosie I appreciate your enthusiasm for the Koch's." Once again Herr Kaymer has once again become an accidental comedy genius. The whole class was in uproar.

Keep in mind that "Koch" is pronounced like "cock."

_**2 minutes later **_

Oh my poor tummy, Rosie and I are having a laughing spaz so of course Herr Kaymer is confused as two agogs.

Possibly three.

"Girls, vat is so funny about being excited about Koch's?"

_**1 second later**_

Ow bloody aggers!

My poor bum-oley that wasn't healed from its previous damages has just taken a brutal beating from the floor after I fell of my chair whilst having another laughing spaz with the Ace Gang minus Jas, I don't think it appreciated having my red bottom fall on it, however it is bum-oley abuse.

There should be a help line for this sort of abuse.

Blimey o'Riley my brain has started to ramble again.

Shut up brain!

_**5 minutes later**_

Me and Rosie finally recovered from our _tres _long laughing spaz.

I thought this would distract them from the Dave the Laugh bet and Masimo fandango.

I was wrong.

"So Georgia, are you going to finally give up your Cosmic Horn and redbottomosity up and stop being a promiscuous tart, or are you going to finally plight your troth to Masimo." Vair nice for my bestie pallie; don't you think?

"There is no need to choose because I have plighted my troth to Masimo, well that is if he stops _ignorez-vousing_ me." They all just did a wise nod to each other. It is not wise, it just makes them look like nodding twits.

Ho hum pigs bum.

"It's like trousers and skirts isn't it? " We all just started at Ro-Ro. I think Sven has invisibly attacked her brain. Or possibly possessed it.

"What in the name of Our Lord Sandra's fake tan are you talkingabout you div?" I even amuse myself with my creativity.

"Don't look at me like I am a fule. What I mean my vair dim pallies is that Dave is like trousers; comfortable, nice and reliable. You know what you get with trousers and they always stay close but don't cling on, whereas Masimo is like a skirt, more flashy but un-reliable, like you can't always wear a skirt and they are unpredictable, like when your skirt accidentally blows up. So you have to pick between Dave, who you have a closer relationship with or Masimo who is very flashy."

Gadzooks!

We all just did the staring fandango at her. She nodded in a way the loon thinks is wise. It's not.

What the pantyhose do I say to her?

"Oh yes, my intelligiosity triumphs again!" The staring continues with Ellen doing a bonus Goldfish Expression.

"Stop staring at me you spoons!"

Then she pulled my nose and we got in a famous nose pulling fight.

Jas and Ellen just sighed and tutted in what they thought was a vair sophis way.

It wasn't they just looked like tutting fules.

But each to their own I say.

Oh what larks!

_**Rom and Jules rehearsals aka tragedy with an eastern promise of hilairousity**_

Oh _merde!_

I totally forgot about Foxwoods coming over for rehearsals.

Ohmygiddygodspyjamas!

They are about to come in and I have no lip gloss or mascara on.

Quickly- quickly do mascara and lip gloss looking in my compact.

**_1 minute later_**

Yes! Kittykat wins again. I managed to do makeup in 1 minute flat, I am vair clever.

Oh no here comes Dave the laughy laugh.

**_10 seconds later_**

Ooh he looks gorgey porgey and he is reeking of naughtiness, especially with that naughty grin he has.

"Well bonsoir Kittykat, I see you are puckering at up just at the sight of me, which is puurfectly understandable as I am a gorgeous Biscuit. Feel free to cover me in chocolate" Cheeky cat.

" Bonjour, _moi_petite fule, for your information my lips are vair well trained and would not pucker up at the sight of a biscuit, you still have that vair big head I told you about last time. "

"Like I said last time, more of me to lurvee. So how are you Kittykat?" Oh that grin, that gorgey grin that nearly makes me go jelloid.

" Oh fab, I've had two laughing spaz's, a nose pulling fight and talked to Herr Kaymer about Koch's" He raised his eyebrow, so I raised mine higher and he nodded his head.

"You know you look like a loon in loon hospital when you do that right?" Kittykat strikes again!

"Oh Kittykat we both know you say that to stop yourself from throwing yourself at me." Cheeky cat.

_**1 minute later**_

Miss Wilson is trying to hush the mad chaotic loons of Foxwoods and the girls in the play.

Vair amusing.

Dave suddenly pulled me outside but I fell over on my bum-oley.

_**1 minute later**_

Dave the Laugh is standing over me like a laughingtrouser having a laugh spaz which he was.

"Dave, that is bum-oley abuse, apologise to my bum-oley and the floor they are vair offended that you hurt them"

" I'm sorry Kittykat's bum-oley, I didn't mean to hurt you as I need you because you are Georgia's red bottom that has given me marvy snogging sessions."

Cheeky cat.

"Well you don't need my red bottom anymore as we both know I'm goingto win our little bet"

He just laughed and reached down a hand to pull me up, once he had pulled me up he put his arm around my waist pushing me to him. He even has gorgey eyes, shut up brain! And calling lips, stop puckering!

"I think you will find we both know you cant resist the call of the hooornnn! You are puckering up just being this close to me."

It was true there was a _je ne sais quoi_about him that made me near jelloidosity.

_**1 minute later**_

The cheeky cat!

He has pushed me against the wall and has put his face vair near minewhich isn't as close as you would think with my gigantibous conk.

We just stared at each other.

Lips! Stop puckering we need to win this bus, thank god he is not any closer, I might accidentlycatch his lips with mine.

Just when I thought Dave was going to lean in, we heard Miss Wilson say "Rosie, stop dancing around with that sword and tell me if you know where Georgia is".

Dave stepped back and stared at me, so I rushed back into the hall for rehearsal, mumbling that I was in the loo when Miss Wilson was trying to be Sherlock Holmes.

Gadzooks that boy makes me jelloid.

_**20 minutes later**_

_Tres_ tedious!

Miss insisted on practisingthe scene were Ellen (Tybalt) stabs me (Mercrutio).

Once again Ellen is the dithering queen and is taking her 40,000 years to decide where exactly to place her fake sword when she stabs me.

"Ellen, in the name of a pantyhose's platypus, will you hurry up and stab me before we are all old and bearded!"

_Merde!_ That was a teeny weenie bit too loud, everybody was staring and Dave, the Barmy Army and The Ace Gang laughed like loons.

Well except Dec, who went over to Ellen who had hit number 7 on f.t scale i.e. a complete ditherspaz and gave her a quick kiss.

Why do my friends do this to me? It gives me major snogging withdrawal.

_**15 minutes later**_

Melanie Andrews must be eaten, although withher massive basoomas it will be hard.

She and Dave have been flirting all through rehearsals.

She even tried sticky eyes.

Oh she is so going to Eaten 48GG Girls Land.

I can't believe Dave the Laugh, _un_ _memento _he is trying to get me to snog him then he is flirting with Melanie.

Dave the Tart strikes again.

"erm Gee.. are you like or not..erm…mad and davethe laugh… or something.. because your..erm..givinghim evils or something" oh it's the DitheringQueen who has zoomed in to enlighten us with her dithering.

"No of course not you young silly groover" Well done brain you nearly made sense.

"Oh okay..." and wondered of to cling to Dec's arm like a handbag on clinging tablets.

_**10 minutes later**_

It just hit me!

No you fule, a hitting thingdidn't just hit me I mean I figured out why Dave the Laugh was flirting with Melanie.

The first reason is her nungas entranced him beyond relief and the second is that he was trying to make me jealous.

Yep, it all made sense, trying to get me to snog him and when that didn't work, he wanted to make me jealous so I lost the bet.

Oh vair, vair clever Mr Laughy Laugh Laugh.

Oh yes I am for the very first time in my life I am vair proud of my cleverosity filled brain.

Muhahaha!

I have foiled the Laughs plan.

Not that I was jealous, it didn't bother me either because I have Masimo, my trothpartner, well maybe troth partner. I cant believe I am in the Cake Shop of Aggers again.

**Yes you were jealous, Georgia Nicolson I am part of your brain, so you know I am right.**

Ah shut up brain! I may have said I wanted to eat Melanie but that's not proof I was jealous, I have never liked her.

**You cant lie to me, just admit it, you were jealous and you lurvee him. Yes, Yes and Thrice Yes! **

Shut up brain! **……….**Wow thank you Our Lord Sandra, in returns to your kindness I will be heroic and try and rescue them from Libby the toddly type torturer.

**On way home**

Dave and his Barmy Army were walking home with us. I couldn't get the smile of my face, knowing that I outsmarted Dave the Laugh.

He looked at me and I smirked back at him. I saw him gulp and I guess he realised I guessed he was trying to make me jealous.

Hahaha I have the upper whatsit!

"Listen up you Barmy and Ace's, I have had major party withdrawal symptoms so am throwing a marvy doublecool with knobs on cowboy/cowgirl party !

"Brillopads!" Yes, Ro-Ro's parties are vair marvy, ah I can't wait.

All the others were vair excited, the Aces talking about makeup, outfits and the Barmy's talking about cowboy hats and fake guns.

Boys are a _le mystery_.

One by one they all said s'laters until it was just me and Dave the Laugh.

I looked at him and grinned and he tried the innocent look.

"Well well Mr Laugh, you thought you were all filled with cleverosity, tryingto make me jealous but withmy super brain I figured it out" I told him with a smug face.

"Well look who's brain is finally filled with cleverosity. Hmm you say you figured it out, but it still worked didn't it, you were jealous and I can't blame you when a Biscuit as gorgey is me is flirting with other girls who adore me"

Cheeky cat.

"Nope, wrong Mr Laugh I was totally in the land of Not Being Jealous"

Hmm half made sense, not bad brain, you may make me proud of you.

"I don't know why you are hiding your pashfor me, everybody can see that your horn is well and truly is out now that the Italian Homosexual has taken away his troth from you"

"He is not a homosexual and he hasn't taken away his troth from me!"

"Has he called?" I said nothing.

"Aha the Biscuit all ways knows, doesn't seem like she is vairhappy withyou, which shows he is a green eyed jealous monster and over sensitive handbag because all we did is dance."

Hmm he has _le_ point.

"Yes well that was entirely your fault Hornmeister"

"You keep telling yourself that, we both know its because you cant resist me. Tatty bye Sex Kitty" and he ran off.

Ah no stupid Dave he has setmy brain off rambling.

Shut up brain! **No, its vair rude you keep telling me to shut up, its because your in denial. **

I can't even have peace when I am on my own, thanks to my ramble queen of a brain.

**Your welcome!**

Shh brain.

**Home **

Oh for the love of a duck-billed platypus, why does Baby Jesus like to make me rush round?

I just get in and the phone rings.

"Hello, a incredibly rushed of her feetand slightly out of breath Georgia speaking"

Hahaha I am a _le_ comedy genius

"ciao_cara, _have you been running? "

Ohmygiddygodspyjamas!

It's Masimo, the Lurvee God, the Italian Stallion. Callinglips say something.

"_Ciao _Masimo, erm yes I have indeedy". Not to bad brain.

"So _cara,_I have called to tell you that I am sorry for as you say being dramatic on Friday, and would like to meet up at 1:00 on Sunday at Luigis. So will _caro_ will you come?"

Gadzooks! That's a lot of information, but on the bright side I haven't had my troth returned.

"Erm _Si, I _would lurrvee to ".

Wow I am getting vairgood at havingnearly normal conversations with Masimo.

"That is how you say erm fab, I will see you on Sunday." Then he rang off.

Yes, Yes, and Thrice Yes! I am seeing Masimo on Sunday!

_**12:00am **_

If I am so excited about seeing him, why did I think of Dave the Laugh through the conversation and feel guilty.

Ah I will never get to sleep now…zzzz

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_**A/n: Well I hope you liked it, if you did review please :)**_


	3. You lassoed me!

_**A/N I don't own the characters :( Louise Rennison does. Only characters that are mine are Dave's family.**_

_**Well I don't know if I got any readers but if I have then, I am going to try to do 2 chapters' tomorrow so wish me luck! Sven's in this chappy finally, I only just realised that I hadn't written about the vair madosity personified reindeer: D **_

_**Three updates from 4:00 to 2:30 am. **_

* * *

**You lassoed me!**

_**Tuesday**_

_**6:30 **_

Yes! Good start to the day I have just enough time to make me look fabbity fab with natural makeup!

You never know who you might see on the way to school, i.e. The Lurrvee God.

**Or Dave the Laugh! **

Shut up brain, it is too early to be having fights with you.

_**8:10 **_

Got to Jas's and she looked like two shocked agogs in Shocked Agogs Land,_ tres_ _amusante, _her goldfish face is not pretty.

Shame Hunky's not here really, that would get her to stop with her scary goldfish face.

Speak of the vole; here he is with Dave the Laugh.

"Ooh hi Hunky" I had to force myself not to realise the laughing attack that just gave me.

Erlack!

They have started snogging that is not something I want in my head.

**I'll save it in a locked cupboard in your brain for you. **

Thank you brain.

**You're welcome. **

Even my own brain doesn't understand my sarcasm.

Then Dave stopped my brain from going into full ramble mode by saying.

"Hey Kittykat, don't watching the vole king and queen make you have snogging withdrawal? I will be a humble snoggee if you want me to release you off that."

Cheeky cat.

"Dave, I think you have major snogging withdrawal and are trying to make me think its me who has snogging withdrawal when its really you trying to get rid of yours, you see you cant trick me with your trickery.

" Wow brain, your working fairly well today.

Of course, Dave being the vair mature he is started the "are you mad" fandango and then Tickly Bears which proceeds to number 6 on the snogging scales.

Lips! Do not pucker, you are under strict orders.

Dave the Laugh just raised his eyebrows at me, not literally lifted them up with his hand for any slightly dim chumlie wummlies.

We linked arms and walked ahead of The Vole Couple.

We were just talking really, sort of weird as we mostly just snog. He was telling me how he got detention at school for toasting marshmallows in chemistry with the Bunsen burner, making smores and selling them_. _

_Tres amusante, _like the time he put a huge banner up on the front of his school saying for sale and when he set fire to his hands with meths.

I told him about last year, when Herr Kaymer did the demonstration about atoms and when I asked him what part the towel played in the demonstration and he said Ach well I use it to keep my balls still.

He is a German accidental comedy genius.

Dave found it hilarious, he was a having a laughing spaz, an old woman across the road tutted and muttered something about disrespect of teenagers today.

Rave on old woman.

_**5 minutes later**_

Wow I am not the only one with a weird family.

Dave has a little sister, Cadie who sounds like she could be Libby's bestest pallie and partner in crime for world domination.

She eats Dave's shaving cream or pours it in to his face to wake him up, she put a bucket on his head and locked him outside with Mr Broccoli for company and sleeps at the end of his bed and occasionally licks his feet.

Erlack! If she and Libby ever met, I fear it may be the end of this world.

His mutti often shows unstable parental loon disease and Dave says it's amazing that he is still a _le _cool biscuit.

_**8:50**_

Even when I wake up early I am still nearly late for school, its all Jas'n'Toms fault, me and Dave got outside school at least 10 minutes before them.

3 guessaroonies what they were doing?

Do you fules actually need 3, okay for the dim they were snogging which is not something I want in my brain, and it is full of a load of wubish all ready.

I was getting vair evil stares from girls, because Dave had his arm around me.

What is their problem?

It's not like we were horn partners type people we were two matey type mateys.

So why in the name of Our Lord Sandra's sandals did it feel so natural?

Finally when Jas was able to get rid of hangey of Hunkys arm disease, Dave said S'laters to me and gave me a little hug.

**Break – sitting on the knicker toaster.**

All the gang was vair excited about Ro-Ro's party.

I am wearing a pink checked shirt, denim waist coat on top, small denim shorts, cowboy boots and a pink cowgirl hat with a tiara on just to show my importness.

Ro-Ro's going for full-blown cowboy outfit, I can't wait to see that it will be vair, vair marvy and _tres amusante._

I was just thinking about whether or not to wear sparkly makeup i.e. glitter mascara, glitter liquid eye liner; I have a fab pink one that would match my shirt. Ah stop rambling brain! Any way my point was I had a flash of the whatsit.

"I have just had a flash of genoisity which you will all lurvee and think is marvy."

They all looked at me, and then Mabs, looking at me like I was a spoon of the first water said "Well what is it?"

"A cowboy/cowgirl inferno hoedown in honour of Ro-Ro's party!"

_**10 minutes later**_

The Cowboy/Cowgirl inferno hoedown is born!

This is what you do:

Hand on hips with cheesy grin,

Put the heel of cowboy boot in front then step forward and then lean back (x2)

Toy gun to your hat

Point gun in front, shoot, shoot

Gun to the left, shoot, shoot

Gun to the right, shoot, shoot

Shout "Howdy" arm up

Turn to your partner

Lasso them, pull imaginary ropes and swap places

Turn to front

Blow top of gun

Shout "I have the howdy hooornnn!"

While doing this the props are a cowboy hat, cowboy boots and a fake toy gun (optional).

What larks!

_**3 minutes later**_

Ooh major snogging scale update, Rosie and Sven have got to nine!

She described it all to us, which I wish she didn't as I feel like I am listening to reindeer porn.

Jas said Hunky, kissed her neck and jaw and wants to add neck and jaw kissing to the list at 5 ½ and 5 ¾.

As long as didn't suggest adding toe lurvee bites to the snogging scale.

_**10 minutes later **_

YES, YES AND THRICE YES!

We are doing our Cowgirl/Cowboy inferno hoedown at Ro-Ro's party, sort of like a Sven's last gig but hopefully without the fisticuffs at dawn.

Although it was a funny fandango of the first water.

Hmm I wonder if I can invite Masimo to it, he would look even gorgeier with jeans on.

_**2 minutes later**_

Yes!

Masimo is invited!

Although its going to be _tres _awkward if Masimo is jealous of me hanging round with Dave, he will just have to be filled with trustosity for me.

**Maths**

It is vair tedious trying to keep up the image of being a Sex Kitty when you have to hunch over doing your makeup behind your maths book.

Hmm clear lip-gloss or red lippy?

Lip-gloss is more subtle and pretty but red lippy is more Sex Kitty-ish.

Hmm. I know, I will put lip gloss on now so the sadists won't notice on and put red lippy on, as I am coming out of gates.

Sometimes I amaze my self with my cleverosity. So why doesn't Hawkeye see it?.

**Standing outside of the gate **

Yay, red nail polish and lippy which now looks glossy from the lip gloss.

I am a Sex Kitty of the first water!

Oh no, an octopus with extensions is coming over and by the look of how straggly her extensions are she is not happy.

I may be trapped in them now as her evil punishment.

Lord save us all.

"Oi, you Nicolson, here now!"

Gadzooks! What have I done this time?

I walked over to her, her extensions were falling out, and she looked like a red faced octopus.

It took girdey loins not to burst out laughing like a loon tablet.

"I heard Masimo forgave you for being a slag, listen to me Nicolson, leave him alone he doesn't want anymore silly little tarts with humungous noses, your just a silly little fling to him, back off."

Wow! That hurt a little bit, now normally I would put up with this but something in my brain triggered off the Argument Department and I started having a go at Lindsay

"Do you know what Lindsay? Shut up you bitch, you don't have a clue what you're talking about, you don't know anything about mine and Masimo's relationship and you never will because you are a squirmy octopus with no forehead. If Masimo ever had anything to do with you he probably felt sorry for you as you are a wet weed who never has a proper boyfriend? And anyway I thought you were going out with Robbie? And you called me a slag? You want both of them at the same time, you're pathetic Lindsay. Masimo has made it quite clear that he doesn't want to be with you that's why you went back to Robbie and as to your insult about my "humungous nose" Masimo or Robbie never seem to care, oh and by the way I think its time to take the extensions out, they look like seaweed."

She just looked at me for a few moments, everybody was silent and then suddenly Lindsay launched out and slapped me, and our fisticuff at dawn went on from there.

I did get some good punches in if I do say so myself and I finally pulled out those bloody weeds she calls extensions.

In the end we were pulled apart by Hawkeye and Miss Stamp.

Slim was furious, all jelloid city, quite fascinating to watch really.

_**5 minutes later**_

Yes, Yes and Thrice Yes!

Lindsay got suspended!

Apparently because she started it she gets most of the blame, I just have two detentions.

Ah what a marvy day!

I get Lindsay expelled, I put her in her place and my makeup stayed perfect.

Oh the larks!

he Ace Gang and I had a random spaz attack of "lets go down to the disco" as a celebratory dance.

I am so unbelievably floating on a cloud of happiness!

Then Dave and his Barmy Army came running up to me and bowed at my feet which made me laugh like a loon of loon tablets then Dave and Rollo picked me up and carried me like I was on a thrown which I think I should have actually been sitting on but I'll let them off.

They were all cheering for me.

Kittykat strikes again!

_**10 minutes later **_

Ho hum pigs bum.

Everybody has recovered from the fisticuff at dawn hysterics and is now doing their usual thing.

I.e. snogging.

Once again me and Dave were goosegogs extraordinaire, because Sven had come yodelling long shouting "oh JA, you groovy wild chicks and groovers!" and tossed Rosie onto his shoulders and ran of hunchback snogging while doing a cross between yodelling and opera.

I've said it before and I will say it again the Reindeer/Viking Couple are truly vair madosity personified.

Me and Dave was just strolling along talking, about the party, school, TV programmes, talking about T.V programmes etc.

_**1 minute later**_

Dave has accidently let slip that he has a secret fantasy of being a superhero called Captain Laugher Pants!

I nearly fell over my own feet with laughter when he told me that, he said I had to tell him a secret and strangely enough I didn't care about letting my nunga-nungas run wild and free, and no you fules this does not mean I let my basoomas go without a bra it just means I was open and free.

I told him about my knicker hammock I used and he burst out laughing like a blow up balloon filled with laughing gas that he inhaled all off.

His laughing made me laugh so we looked like two laughing escapees from a laughing hospital.

I caught the rest of the Barmy Army and Ace Gang giving each other knowing looks.

What in the name of Jesus's bushy beard was that about?

**Wednesday **

Vair marvy day, I got spondulicks that I had to find around the house, you know like in Angus's basket, in the curtains and all those madosity places to find money.

I found a whole ten squids, and got a two new marvy lip glosses; Cherry and Vanilla, a set of boy entrancers and a new marvy perfect shade of foundation.

Brillopads!

**Thursday**

Ah 3 tests in one day!

It's only September and they are all ready making us do exams, the sadists.

And they wonder why I create a lot of creativosity to brighten up their days and students, vair nice if you ask me, and what do I get for it?

Detention.

Typico.

Also I called the Lurvee God to invite him to Ro-Ro's cowboy/girl party but he said he had band rehearsal.

Poonosity, I am going to be a goosegogs extraordinaire.

Well at least Dave the Laugh will be there, I feel we have grown a lot closer over these past few days.

He is a vair marvy pallie and gorgey porgey.

**Friday **

Full of excitedosity for Ro-Ro's party.

All the Ace Gang did makeup experiments and we all decided to wear as much glitter makeup as possible.

Our vair marvy and clever explanation for this is that if it was dark and a cowgirl was having a fisticuff hoedown they wouldn't be able to see each other but if they had glitter on you would see the sparkle.

Vair impressive thinking if you ask me.

My new boy entrancers have glitter on the ends which tiny sequins for maximum entrancing, not that I will have any one to entrance because Masimo will not be there.

**Wrong! Dave the Laugh will be there and one has to look like a Sex Kitty of the first water for the Hornmeister.**

Brain please, and I say this lovingly please, please, please with chuddy on top can you shut up.

**No. **

_Merde!_

**Getting ready **

Mucho excitemondo! 2 hours until the party!

_**2 minutes later**_

Hmm lippy or lip gloss ?

_**1 second later**_

Lippy!

_**1 second later**_

Lip gloss!

_**1 second later**_

Both!

_**2 minutes later**_

Hmm my heated rollers gave maximum volume, and straightners gave me perfect curls!

Hmm its all going a bit too purrfect at the memento, something bad is probably coming soon.

AH no! Brain don't' think that because then it will happen, you are a vair naughty brain and I order you to control yourself especially when talking to other people.

**Clock tower **

Ah so filled with excitedosity, everybody looks amazing with their glitter we are like sparkly light up cowgirls.

Yes! The girls are back in town, we are all doing linkey up arms and strolling down the high street to Rosie's as if it's a catwalk, you could hear the sound of our heels on the ground.

Don't mess with the marvy Ace Gang!

**Rosie's **

Wow the place looks amazing, somehow Rosie got hay and has it in large piles and have those typico cowboy doors, if you know what I mean and I think you do.

"Oh JA lets groove sparkle chicks!" Sven said to me and Mabs as he lifted us of our feet and put on the dance floor. By the way did you know you could get cowboy outfits that had flare bottoms? Well you can, Sven the Reindeer/Viking/Cowboy is proof that some people still love flares like two flares at flare shop in flare town in flare country in flare universe.

_**Gazillion years later**_

Wow! It's more packed than usual, you can barely move on the dance floor, which I am currently stuck in. Suddenly a pair of hands went round my waist and I turned round ready to have a spaz attack at them when I realised it was Dave the Laugh doing his vair groovy grin.

Girdey loins! Girdey loins! Do not pucker up.

"I saw you were about to be drowned. A snog would be a great thank you pressie."

"Then I won't thank you then." Muhahaha Kittykat strikes again!

"You are vair cheeky Kittykat, Sex Kitty, you know you want to thank me with a snog" Cheeky cat.

"Ooh have you got snogging withdrawal again Dave, aw you poor Biscuit it's getting bad isn't it?"

Once again I have the upper whatsit.

"Don't kid yourself Kittykat, come on man, I am going to die if we stay in here, let's go!" And the cheeky cat grabbed my hand and dragged me through crowds of people and into the kitchen.

As we were looking in the kitchen, we found a bottle of shots. So Dave and I did a shot each then went back to coke.

"Come outside with me Kittykat", already walking backwards so he could face me while walking out of the back door.

"No, its vair nippy noodles Dave!"

"Pweaaseee! " He said doing a puppy dog face that was yummy scrumboes and took all the girdey loins I could muster to not give in.

"No Dave, its vair nippy noodles and I don't want to get frostbite!"

He just looked at me like I was a loon talking wubish then got a rope that was in his pocket and lassoed me and pulled me out with him.

Yep, I am vair, vair serious; he actually lassoed Me.!

"I can't believe you lassoed me!"

"Well I had to get your lazy minx of a bottom to come out here and it seemed like the easiest way and I thought that was vair marvy and double cool with knobs on like an old western cartoon. "

I just looked at him.

_**2 hours later **_

The party was marvy and fabbity fab, the Ace Gang sparkled as we performed the Cowboy/Cowgirl inferno hoedown and we taught it to the Barmy Army.

As everyone went with their horn/troth partners me and Dave were forced to be together.

When it got to the lasso bit, we both raised eyebrows at each other because of the Déjà vu of the situation.

We both started laughing like loons that have escaped from a laughing institute and fell over all the others.

We had a massive laughing spaz as a massive group it was hilarious.

I did marvy air guitaring with Dave the Laugh, that's what I like about being with him I don't have to worry about talking complete and utter wubbish because he says it as well.

**Leaving Rosie's with Dave the Laugh**

Dave said he was walking home, so as we live near each other he said he will walk me home.

He can be so sweet sometimes.

Its weird; this is the first party where I haven't or nearly have, snogged Dave the Laugh, I like that we can be normal friendly type maties. As we were walking on the road across the park, Dave turned his head to look towards the park, his eyes went wide and he looked as shocked as two shocked things.

"Shit!"

I wonder what made him say that perhaps I should look over.

_**I second later**_

I can't bloody believe it.

They are dead, deader than dead.


	4. I lurve Slim!

_**A/N I don't own the characters. Louise Rennison does :(**_

_**Yay another update! You will never understand how much funosity I am having writing this. Any readers out there, I hope you like this; this is when a new character arrives. Thanks to Earth Kid Tree Hugger and Clumsy-Clara for you marvy reviews! This was vair,vair tres amusante to write but it could just be me who finds it funny because I have le freak as a brain and it rambles on about a load of wubish like now, shh brain! I hope you like it :D please review :D you know you wanna ;) **_

* * *

**_I lurve Slim!_**

**Walking with Dave the Laugh**

I am so full of angerosity!

I can't believe it I just can't.

Dave the Laugh is just looking at me in shock, even though we have done what they are doing now, I can't believe he has done it. Masimo and Wet Lindsay are snogging.

Number sixing right in front of me.

Octupusy must be killed.

Or eaten.

I looked at Dave, he looked vair angry and before I knew he was walking over to Masimo and the octopus.

He tapped Masimo on the shoulder and as Masimo broke away from the octopus's extensions and looked towards Dave, Dave delivered an amazingly loud hard punch to his jaw, Masimo just stood there looking in shock while the octopus tried to put her arm round him.

"You are the biggest bastard I have ever met, you stroll into this town with your flash suits and handbags and immediately play both Georgia and that wet weed beside you, and even though Georgia has been amazingly patient and full of caringnosity and waits for you to decide when you want to be troth partners, you have a hissy fit because she danced with me which is what friend type people do and she even forgave you for that but know you go behind her back, lying to her about having a band rehearsal to have snogging sessions with that octopus, you don't deserve her she is the most amazing, caring, funny gorgey Sex Kitty I have ever met, and you treat her like this, you and octopus deserve each other."

And with another punch to his jaw he walked away back to me, I smiled at him to let him know I lurved what he said to him. I decided I needed to say something; I went over to him and said

"Masimo, you are the biggest bastard of the first water, all along Dave said you were playing the field but when we became official troth partners I thought it was a load of wubish but I see now he was right all along, Dave's all ways been there for me whereas you can barely speak English, you are vair unpredictable and all we do is snog, we are not like proper troth like partners. I prefer trousers to a skirt like you any day of the week, oh and Lindsay you don't have to worry about me getting in the way of your precious Italian Homosexualist, you can have him your just a bad as each other. I have always forgiven you for playing the field, but this time its different, you have really hurt me, don't talk or come near me again. "

And to make it sting a bit more I slapped his face hard.

He tried to say "_Cara-". _

_S_o I said no Masimo its over and I left them there speechless and walked over to Dave who immediately put his arm around me and just before we got out of view of the octopus and the homosexual I looked back to see them snogging again.

What prize bitches!

I felt tears dripping down my face, and Dave's arms tighten.

"Kittykat, do you want to come to my house? It's quicker and my parental loons are out and I have a feeling your going to need a gorgey shoulder to cry on."

It made me laugh even in the poonosity of the situation and I mumbled a yeah.

_**5 minutes later**_

Ohmygiddygodspyjamas!

We just passed vati's clown car, and inside were him a mutti number sixing. Erlack a pongoes!

This is the sort of abuse that takes millions of squids in therapy.

Gadzooks!

Libby is in the back snogging Angus's tail, I can hear her shouting "stay still you bad boy!"

There must be some helpline for this.

**Dave the Laughs house **

His house is quite tidy, I always expected Dave's house to be messy.

Ah his bedroom.

Now this is better it's much messier.

It made me feel more comfortable.

He put me in the bed and pulled the covers over me so I was all snugly bugly in his covers then he slid in beside me and put his arms around me.

He is vair sweet.

"How are you feeling Kittykat? "

"Considering I was crying like a hysterical person, I am shockingly all right, I mean I was more upset when Robbie left to sing to marsupials in a stream,"

"Maybe it's because your in the arms of vair marvy and gorgey biscuit!" Cheeky cat.

"Cheeky cat"

Why does my lips always say what I am thinking?

"Gee, you know he doesn't deserve you, so don't waste your time being upset about taking your troth from the homosexual."

That was sort of sweet.

"Oh I know I am vair to fabbity fab for him, and I am not going to waste my time over him, I am going to let my nunga-nungas run free and wild."

No you fules I am not so depressed as to go round with no nunga-nunga holder on. It means I am going to do what I want and not care what people think.

"Oo-er Sex Kitty, do you know how rudey dudey that sounds to a brain like mine?

Cheeky cat.

"You are vair rudey dudey, Mr laughy laugh."

"Keeping saying that Kittykat but we both know it is you who is vair rudey dudey!"

Once again he is a vair cheeky cat.

I didn't reply and there was a sort of comfortable silence.

Then I realised my parental loons would not know where I was, oh well I am sure they are to busy doing Unstable Parental Loon porn to worry about where their fabby daughter was.

"That was some showdown hoedown!"

_Tres _amusante of Dave the Laugh if you ask me.

"Yep, indeedy it certainly was, with your vair good punching and _moi _marvy slapping him in face, they only other thing I should of done was eaten the octopus but then again she would taste disgusting, I should of killed her and forced Masimo to eat it, now that is pure torture."

Dave the Laugh had a laughing spaz like the loon he is.

Oh yes I am a comedy genius. Then there was the silence again.

Hmm Dave is seriously comfortable, I may just fall asleep by accident, nope girdey loins!

Don't fall asleep!

I felt Dave snuggle into me more.

Oo-er….zzzzzzzzzzz

_**8:00 am**_

Hmm that was a good sleep.

What in the name of Hawkeye's eyes am I doing lying in bed with Dave the Laugh?

Oh yes, now I remember the Masimo and Octopus type fandango.

I looked over at Dave.

Aw he looks so cute, he looks younger somehow and his hair was flat like two flatten things ran over twice.

He suddenly opened his eyes.

"Stop staring at me, you staring fool" Vair rude I thought.

"Well I was shocked as two agogs to see your hair so flat Mr Laugh as you are usually and I mean this is a matey way, a vain tart."

Hahaha even this early in the morning and I am a marvy comedy genius.

"I'm hurt! Although you never see my hair flat again Kittykat, as I am Jack _le _biscuit and have a reputation of being marvy and gorgey to uphold."

Ah we are true comedy geniuses.

I got up and looked in the mirror.

Erlack!

I'm all red faced and spotty.

"Gadzooks! Look at my face; it's all red and spotty, I wish I had my makeup."

Lips! Stop saying what my fule of a brain says.

**I am not a fule. **

Yes you are now shut up I am trying to listen to the Dave the Laughy Laugh.

"Kittykat, you don't need make up, you are vair gorgey porgey and beautiful"

Aw he is definitely in my good book and no fules I don't actually write in a book saying good people.

It means I am happy with him.

"Aw Dave you are so sweet!"

I can't believe I said it out loud stupid brain! He's probably going to say something about being Jack the Biscuit.

"Well I am the marvy and double cool with knobs on Jack the Biscuit."_ Tres_ predictable.

"You are too in lurvee with your supposed biscuitosity" Kittykat strikes again with her cleverosity.

Dave the laugh just raised his eyebrows, as I've said before not literally with his hand.

Then he laughed and pulled me back down to the bed and hugged me.

Aw what's with all these hugs?

His style is normally accidental snogs.

I guess he must not want to lose the bet, so he hugs me instead because he can't keep his hands of a marvy Sex Kitty like me.

Oo-er!

It was sort of nice just being with Dave the Laugh.

**Luigis **

When Dave the Laugh was walking me home, he decided he would drag me into Luigi's but didn't think to tell me about the step, so of course I fell over in front of the whole café.

Marvy.

Dave was just standing there laughing like a loon and then reached down a hand to help me up.

Once I was up, he stopped laughing and said

"Sorry Kittykat, I was so excited about the idea of having coffee with you, I forgot to tell you about the step"

"Awwwww!"The whole café said.

I wish they wouldn't because I don't carry of the beetroot look very well.

Dave just laughed and pulled out a seat for me.

I wish the people in the café would stop aww-ing my face is going all red like a loon tomato.

_**Half hour later **_

After going about 20 different shades of red, accidentally getting a foam moustache and a vair loon but nice conversation we left Luigi's arm in arm, when we was on our way back was blocked by a rubbish picker who picks up rubbish in town.

Dave said "excuse me mate" and the tall bloke looked at us. It was Masimo.

The Lurvee God, picking up rubbish.

Me and Dave were in uproar, it was hilarious.

He had a major handbag spaz and stormed off.

Oh what larks!

**Home **

"Parental loons, madosity personified cats and toddly type people; get out the duck billed platypus, your vair fab daughter is back!"

As usual no-one was in.

Typico.

But I don't think I would have been able to look my vair madosity family in the face without having the urge to be sick in their face, about the clown car fandango.

Erlack!

Get out of my head!

**Assembly **

Ohmygiddygodspyjamas!

I can't believe it! No sooner do I get Lindsay expelled, does a new Octopus comes in.

She's like a clone of Lindsay, same stringy wet extensions, same no forehead and looks like an octopus.

Slim said her name is Wendy.

Hahaha what an old fuddy duddy name.

Just her name shows she is going to be an octopus on octopus tablets at an octopus plastic surgery.

Hahaha I am _le _comedy genius.

Or have gone hysterical.

**German **

I can't believe that stringy wet bitch!

Me and Ro-Ro were doing mad "lets go down to the disco" in our chairs to cheer us up from this terrible fandango when we saw the new octopus giving us evils for all Merrie England.

As me and Ro-Ro were going out of the Assembly Hawkeye gave us two bad conduct marks each and the new octopus was standing next to her smirking. Ooh she must be eaten, although I bet slimy weedy octopus tastes as disgusting as a million disgusting things put together and shoved in an oven.

I amaze myself with my comedy and ability to still be filled with creativeosity and cleverosity when I am having the major droop.

**At gate outside school**

Hmm Dave the laugh and the Army Barmy are all here, we are getting vair jealous looks and evils.

Hahaha I feel vair cool with knobs on now!

Me and Dave were just having a vair marvy and funny conversation about his latest chemistry fandango, lets just say it involved a volt meter and the skeleton and a massive bang with resulted in bones everywhere.

I've said it once and I will say it again: he is a vair comedy genius.

Then as he was about to tell me what happened after that, Masimo the Italian Homosexual roared up on his Italian scooter.

Ooh this could be a possible fisticuff at dawn, I looked at Dave, and by looking in his eyes I could tell he was angry, I put my hand in his to calm him down and he smiled at me.

Then Wendy, the new octopus came bounding up to him and gave him a number 5 for the whole school to see.

Erlack, this is handbag and octopus porn.

"Erlack! I do not need this octopus and handbag porn in my head" Oh great.

Lips I thought I told you to not to say what my brain says, you will have to be punished.

**Dave the Laugh can do the honour!**

Shut up brain!

Dave the laugh stopped my brain from rambling on by saying:

"Who in the name of Captain Laugher Pants is that octopus lookalike? "

Hahaha _tres amusante _if you ask me.

No! Focus brain you still need to answer the question.

"Hahaha the new girl Wendy, what a fuddy duddy name aye? She's like a clone of Wet Lindsay and she even ratted me and Ro-Ro out for doing marvy lets go down the disco.. Ooh and speaking of the Original Octopus here she comes, her weedy extensions are heaving up and down she does not look happy. Yay! Octopus fight!" Dave just raised an eyebrow at me and we both turned round just in time to see the octopus showdown fisticuff at dawn.

_**10 minutes later**_

Ha-ha _tres _funny.

Me, the Barmy's and the Ace's were having laughing spaz's.

Me and Dave had to cling onto each other to be able to keep standing.

_**10 minutes later**_

Yes! Yes! And Thrice Yes!

The new octopus has been suspended for a week and the Original Octopus is expelled.

Apparently she started this fisticuffs as well and as it is her second fisticuffs in a week Slim said she is a disgrace and if she wanted to fight go to a alley or a common school and expelled her.

I can't believe I am going to say this but I lurvee Slim!

Wow that is not something I thought I would say, well it's my brains fault that I thought that weird thought.

Oh what larks!

_**15 minutes later **_

How vair rudey dudey!

The Ace Gang and the Barmy Army have left me and Dave to be goosegogs while they go to the cinema for a mass- double dating thing and no you fules they will be snogging their respective troth/horn partners.

Oh well I suppose I will have to make due with Dave the Laugh as my ramble partner although I don't think he will like it if I discuss whether to wear sparkly or normal makeup, as he will probably say something like "Kittykat, I know you have just been out with an Italian Handbag but I am Jack the Biscuit not the gay side of the handbag like a certain Italian I know".

ou know typico Dave talking about his supposed biscuitosity.

_**2 minutes later**_

Erlack!

How much porn is Our Lord Sandra going to make me see in a couple days?

I am sorry I couldn't save you from the evil toddly-type person but I had to save myself from the evil toddler, as you wouldn't want me to die as you wouldn't be able to do these types of torture to me would you?

So I am doing you a favour really.

Shut up brain!

Any way _le _point is that I have now been experienced to teacher porn!

As we were walking in the fields behind school we saw Herr Kaymer and Hawkeye number sixing then when she walked away and then Miss Wilson came over to Herr Kaymer and snogged his face off, not literally you fules.

Herr Kaymer is a german redbottomosity minx of the first water!

It took Me and Dave all we had not to laugh until we got away from the field and was walking through town.

Oh what larks! Another type of porn to add to the list of porn that will result in millions of squid's worth of therapy.

Erlack!

I still have the images in my head!

Get out, get out!

I looked over to Dave and he has somehow got out of his laughing spaz and was staring at the shop window, hmm I wonder what is so interesting in the window that is stopping him having a _tres amusante _laughing spaz with me.

Maybe he found, a Captain Laugher Pants outfit.

Muhahaha! I am a comedy genius.

Now shut up brain, and lets see what he is looking at.

_**1 minute later**_

The Aces and Barmy's are so dead!

* * *

_**Ohmygiddygod! This has taken me nearly 4 hours to write. Another cliffy ending, I know you are going to hate me for it but its fun being the only one to know what it is. I am going to start immediately on the next chappy so that you all don't flame me. Thanks for the reviews and subscribers! If there is any advice or criticism you would like me to know review, I work better when I get reviews because I feel like have a obligation to your awesome readers and reviewers! I lurvee you all and I hope you liked the chappy. Its much shorter than the last chappy because I had two others worth of writers block! **_


	5. Spaghetti Angels!

_**A/N I don't own the characters :( Louse Rennison does. I only own the two new character that you will see in this chappy and Wendy the octopus.**_

_**Thanks to Earth Kid Tree Hugger, who gave me inspiration for what the cliffy from the last chappy was, she should know what I mean once she reads it. Reviews are very welcome. Come on, you know you want to ;) I am sorry this took longer than expected; I ended up staying at my dads and only got home about 2 hours ago. **_

* * *

**Still staring at the window with Dave the Laugh**

**_1 minute later_**

Ohmygiddygodspyjamas!

I can't believe they did this; they must be eaten or cooked.

Or both.

I am so filled with angerosity and madosity and slightly embarrasedosity.

I looked at Dave and he looked as shocked as two shocked agogs in Shocked Agogs Land, but looking in his eye I can tell he is vair angry.

The Barmy Army and Ace Gang has put posters on the walls and windows all the way through town of a picture of me and Dave doing marvy air guitar dancing with our faces looking like complete loons and in bold red writing it said

"Georgia and Dave the Laugh are in Lurvee like two loved up things at a love convention, if you want to see videos of the two, go onto YouTube, go onto Viking Queen's profile and watch videos of our lovers falling into bushes, lassoing each other and other mad things. Love The Ace Gang and The Barmy Army. "

They are so dead, deader than dead.

People passing started to laugh and point at us, obviously having seen the poster and it didn't help vair much that Dave had his arm round me.

We just did a looking at each other fandango.

Hmm brain you normally have madosity ideas that make no sense, now the one time I could use some your rambling you shut up like I always tell you to and the one time I need you, you actually do what I say.

Typico.

"They are so dead, deader than dead, I cannot believe they actually did this, we are on the internet Gee! Oh we so have to find away to get them back. "

Hmm this sounded vair good.

"I know, but what?"

Come on brain, spread your cleverosity and deviousosity and come up with a vair randomosity plan.

**Hit them with a semi aquatic duck billed platypus? **

No brain!

Where would I get a semi aquatic duck billed platypus from and why are you so obsessed with platypuses?

**You're the** **one who watches Phineas and Ferb everyday, so you're the reason platypuses are always in your brain.**

Shut up brain! I am not having a fisticuff at dawn with you about platypuses.

"Hmm, I have an idea that will make the girls scream and the boys messy."

Hmm sounds good to me.

**Walking in the street to the cinema with Dave the Laugh – 1 hour later**

After Dave told me his vair marvy and brillopads plan, we went back to his house where I met his Mutti, who is madosity personified the sort of person I can imagine as Dave's mutti.

When we came in, she was listening to whale songs, singing in German and wearing a bicycle helmet.

_Tres amusante._

When she saw me she said :

"Guten tag, are you Davey's girly friend type person? You can call me Lucy, I am sure Dave has never mentioned me before as he thinks I belong in loon land, oh forgive me for rambling. "

I just stared at her, in admiringly way, she was madosity personified and le cool with double knobs on if you ask me.

I like her, she is letting a nunga-nungas run free and wild and no you spoons I do not mean she is not wearing a nunga-nunga holder and why would I know that anyway, I am not a lezzie.

Brain please shut up we actually need to tell the lips what to say and I do not want them saying that nunga-nunga stuff out loud.

"Fabby to meet you Lucy, oh don't worry about the rambling I do it a lot, would you happen to know how to cook lots of spaghetti?"

Dave just looked at me like a shocked thing like a shocked thing in a shocking fandango.

I just remembered, that I didn't tell her I wasn't Dave's girly type person, but it sounds nice.

"Yes indeedy, can I ask why?"

So I told her all about what the Aces and Barmy's and she was laughing like a loon on loon tablets having a laughing spaz on a laughing planet where she is the laughing god.

I surprise myself with my creativeosity sometimes.

Then she got out 4 massive bags of pasta, 10 jars of tomato sauce and somehow cooked it all then put it all into two massive buckets for us.

Then said" Right now I have done my job of being a master cooker type person of gigantibous amounts of spaghetti bolognaise for my biscuit son and his Kittykat, I must grace some vair lucky matey type mates with my marvy prescience."

And walked out dressed like a T.V, when I asked her if she was going to a fancy dress party, she said

"_Nein! _Me and my matey type mateys are going clubbing, and decided we would dress up as electronic things because we are vair marvy and filled with creativosity. The others are going as a phone, an iPod, a stereo, a sky plus box and a DVD player."

As she walked out the door I started laughing like a loon, I officially lurvee his mutti.

Dave was looking at me nervously so I said "What's wrong Mr Laughy Laugh, Laugh?"

_Merde! _He looked a bit Dave the un- Laugh.

"My mutti didn't scare you off me? She is so madosity personified I should of warned you."

Hahaha what is he on about? She's double cool with knobs on.

"Hahaha no of course she didn't, She was double cool with knobs just a bit more madosity personified then I expected to be your Mutti but marvy all the same"

Yes, back to Dave the Laugh with his gorgey jelloid grin.

"Well I am glad you like my mutti Kittykat, but we need to get on the camel and go to the cinema with our buckets."

True, the quicker we get them back the better and sooner I get to laugh like a loon on loon tablets.

So looking like fules we both picked up a bucket and set of on his camel to the cinema, getting weird looks of curiosity and laughyiosity.

**Outside the cinema**

Been waiting outside for about 5 minutes which is vair, vair long especially when your carrying vair heavyarooni buckets.

We know their defo here because we met a girl from school outside and she said she saw them here, whilst looking at us like we were fules of the first water.

_**1 minute later **_

The Barmy Army and Ace Gang came out laughing and shoving but as soon as they saw us they stopped.

We stared at them, they stared at us and then me and Dave being the _le _geniuses threw our buckets at them.

Muhahahaha!

_**1 minute later**_

Hahaha!

It's another having to lean on each other to stand up because we are having laughing spaz's fandango.

They look vair _amusante _covered in spaghetti like covered in spaghetti type people.

The Ace's were screaming about their hair, while the Barmy's just stood their liked a shocked mayor of shocked town whilst me and Dave just stood there having a laugh spaz, oh my poor, poor tummy its in aggers from laughing so much.

Then Rosie finally stopped obsessing about the state of her hair and screamed at us

"You fules of the first water! Why did you do that?"

"To get you back for those posters". Rosie just looked at me then grinned and said "I have only one thing to say, in the name of Vikings…. Foooooood fighttt!" and Sven shouted "Oh Ja!"

Then Ro-Ro threw a load of spaghetti and me and Dave.

So we chucked some back which missed Ro-Ro and hit Rollo and Dec who threw some back which started the marvy historic fandango of the Spaghetti Food Fight.

_**10 minutes later**_

Oh my tummy hurts from laughing, both the octopuses went past and got soaked with spaghetti like the poor fools that decided to foolishly walk this way when you food fight must have been talked about all around town, so they were either not tuned into Radio Jas or they wanted to feel special and included.

Hahaha!

The sight of Lindsay and Masimo slipping over into the spaghetti and them both screaming about their hair, made me fall over with laughter, and I was holding onto Dave and it was like dominos when ones knocked down all the others go down.

For the people who may be slightly dim, all the Aces and Barmy's fell over into the mess and just had even more laughing spaz's.

_**I minute later **_

I am _le comedie_ genius and full of creativosity, I started to do spaghetti angels and everyone copied other then Ed who had been mostly filming the food fight, now he filmed us doing spaghetti angels!

_**5 minutes later**_

_Merde! _

The cinema cleaner came out and had a major nervy b at us, which was vair hard not to laugh at.

He bought out a bucket for each of us full of soapy water, and said he would be back in 5 minutes to check on us.

Gadzooks he was a cinema cleaner version of Elvis. No not the singer you fules, Elvis as in our caretaker.

As we were scrubbing I accidently sloshed Dave with water so Dave like the vair cheeky minx that he is, poured his bucket on my head.

"Ah Dave, you fule! That water is vair nippy noodles!" And of coursey this resulted in the famous "Soapy Water Fight after the Spaghetti Food Fight.

_**5 minutes later**_

Elvis the cinema came out unfortunately for him, but marvy for us just as Rosie chucked her water in my direction but I ducked and it soaked Elvis who was standing behind me.

He hit number 10 on the f.t scale i.e. he went ballistioisimus.

t was vair _tres bien et amusante_.

He banned us from the cinema and told us to go away or he would attack us with a broom, he is _le_ mad.

We all ran away laughing like escaped laughing loons on laughing gas from an over laughing hospital.

**At the park **

We have finally calmed down from our food fights extraordinaire hysterics and there is silence.

I was doing the staring fandango at the others, it was _tres amusante _seeing them covered in spaghetti and drenched at the same time.

The park Elvis nearly had a number 8 on the f.t scale i.e. a nervy b when he saw us coming in park drenched and with spaghetti all over us.

Finally after a long silence, Dave broke it.

"So you spaghetti covered fules, why did you put those posters of me and Gee up and videos of the gorgeous Biscuit and his Kittykat."

The rest of the Barmy's and Aces just looked at each other like looking things.

Very helpful.

"Will any of you fules answer?"

Well done brain. That made sense.

**See, you know you lurvee me!" **

Yes sure, now please shut up with your rambling I am currently trying to listen to Mr Vole.

"To show other people what we all know, well seeing as you're a bit of a fule i.e. that you and Dave should be horn partners, not occasional redbottomosity partners."

I just looked at him, bear in mind he and Jazzy were sitting in a tree, it was like listening to a vair wise owl.

Gadzooks!

What the hell do I say to that?

Not that I should have to answer as it is vair obvious that me and Dave don't feel that way about each other.

**Err excuse me missy but Dave lurrvees you, it is only you who needs to get out of your denial stage. **

Oh your excused brain, hahaha once again I am _le _genius.

The Barmy's and Aces were all doing that "looking at me, looking at Dave" starey fandango.

I looked at Dave; he was looking at me like a looking type person.

Girdey loins! Do not melt into Dave's vair marvy eyes.

I couldn't take all this staring so I got up and my vair loon of a brain said to run away, which my legs all too happily ordered.

Legs! You will be punished for not following my orders to ignore my _le _fule of a brain; the punishment may include a vair long run.

As I was running away, Our Lord Sandra decided to make _le _fule out of me, by making my legs protest against me and give out on me which made me look like a loon as I fell in a bin.

_**1 second later**_

Erlack!

This bin has a vair not fabbity fab or marvy smell also I have wubish on my face, as if its not bad enough that I have a brain that talks a load of rubbish, I now have it on my face.

I can hear the entire Ace's and Barmy laughing like loons on loon tablets that inhaled laughing gas.

I heard a big bang, and I am guessing that was Jazzy Spazzy and Mr Vole falling out of the tree.

Good serves them right; the Vole King has filled me with confusosity.

Ah brain! Hurry up and help me to find a way to get out of this vair horribleosity bin.

_**10 minutes later **_

Ohmygiddygodspyjamas!

The falling into the bin type fandango was vair embarrassing.

After about 7 minutes of listening to the Aces and Barmy's nearly killing themselves by laughing like two laughing things in a laughing competition I had to get back on my feet, which I tell you took all of my cleverosity to do, **don't you mean my cleverosity? **Shh brain.

Anyways after I was standing with a bin on my head looking like a loon with a bin on my head and seeing the Barmy's and Aces on the floor, having laughing fits I lifted the bin of my head, so they saw my beetrootosity which made Ro-Ro scream with laughter and double up laughing.

Then I started running again and thank you to Baby Jesus, who stopped his transvestite vati from making me look like even more of a vair fool.

Finally I got far away to not hear there laughter and then was greeted with the sight of the blunder boys. Oh Baby Jesus, why do you hate me? They were all staring at my nunga-nungas and licking their lips.

Erlack! Oh great now Mark Big Gob has finally got out of his staring fandango to say something to me.

"Well look who it is, your nungas looked pleased to see me, what do you say to having a quick snog? " Erlack!

"Big Gob, as I've told you before and I will gladly tell you again especially seeing as your Blunder Boys are here, what girl would snog you as you are a vair _merde _snog!"

Hahaha oh yes Kittykat's cleverosity triumphs!

"Oh don't lie Georgia, everybody knows you can't resist a snog you slag!" Vair rude.

Erlack! He is leaning in, and for once my lips were not puckering, they were crying out in protest about Marks big lips being near them so just as he was about to snog me I kicked him where it hurts!

Hahaha yes! Mark Big Gob is on the floor bent over in pain.

Thank you Our Lord Sandra, this makes up for you earlier torture!

I knew you lurrveed me really.

Oh what larks!

_**Home**_

Oh what a _merde_ night! The only marvy part was kicking Mark Big Gob where it hurts, oh great I feel a laughing spaz coming on.

_**10 minutes later**_

My poor tummy is in aggers from laughing so much!

Even mutti, vati and Bibs were looking at me like I was a loon which is vair full of hypocritosity as they are gigantibous loons on all the loon tablets in the world. Oh the memory of me kicking MBG where it hurts is going to be in my brain forever!

_**15 minutes later **_

Hmm I am feeling a bit of guiltyosity for running out on Dave, he is probably as vair confuzzled as I am. I should go see him.

_**I minute later**_

As I was passing the living room, vati shouted "Where do you think you are going Georgia Nicolson!" to which I replied with vair cleverosity and trickerosity "To see a Biscuit in his Biscuit Tin."

Hahaha! An answer filled with cleverosity if I do say so.

They will never guess it, now of on my camel to the Biscuit Tin.

And for the vair dim who are confuzzled why I am calling Dave's house a biscuit tin, a biscuit lives in a biscuit tin and according to Dave he his a biscuit so his house would be his biscuit tin.

See vair cleveraroony.

**Walking to the Biscuit Tin. **

Hahaha! I passed the Blunder Boys on my way, and Mark Big Gob was still on the floor while his mates had laughing spaz's like spaz's which they are.

_Tres amusante._

_**10 minutes later**_

Nearing Dave's house, hmm I can see a outline of someone in the distance outside the Biscuit Tin. Hmm I wonder if its Dave, or it would be marvy if it was his mutti, I could finally have an intelligent conversation with someone. People are getting vair dim these days. Oh its two people.

_**5 minutes later**_

How in the name of Our Lord Sandra's frock could Dave do this to me?

* * *

_**Phew! I am full of exhaustedosity! Sorry it was late but I hope it made you laugh like a loon it certainly made me did :) Reviews please :D**_


	6. The Call of the Alligator!

A/N I do not own the characters, Louise Rennison does :( I only own Dave's mutti, the cinema cleaner Elvis, Wendy and another new character. I also don't own the Dave channel, sky TV, YouTube and Msn.

_Yay another chappy: D I can't believe I am on chappy 6 when I only started it on Friday. I lurvee this fanfic even if no-one else does; it makes me happy to write it , I have another two more in my head but I wont start them until I have finished this one, as updates for this would be vair too slow and it one woudldnt exactly be a fanfic, I will let you know at another time. I hope you like this. Btw I write quicker with reviews because they make me feel like I have got a duty to my reviewers, but I wont stop writing if I get no reviews because I am having vair too much funosity writing this. :)_

Still standing looking at Dave like a staring loon 

I am frozen with shockosity. My body is frozen, as my brain is as shocked as two agogs so they are not telling my body parts to do anything. Vair cleverosity explanation I think. **I think so too seeing as it was this vair marvy brain who thought it.** Shh would you? This is not the time to be having fisticuff over my cleverosity have you not seen the fandango in front of us. **Yes of coursey I have, you had better go over there and kiss and make up so you can finally shut me up, isn't that what you want and plight your troth to dave instead of just putting it in a troth waiting room. **Shut up will you?

1 minute later

When I worked out that the two people were Dave and a girl I also worked out they were hugging and that's how I came to be a frozen type person.

1 minute later

Ohmygiddygodspyjamas! He has just kissed this girl's cheek, and then he suddenly looked straight at me. We were staring at each other like two staring things until my brain decided to send instant messages to my legs to run away, for once and I never thought I would ever say this but thank you brain! **See I told you, I am vair, vair wise. **I can hear Dave shouting my name but I was filled with shockedosity and hurtosity that I just can't face him right now.

2 minutes later

Ho Hum Pigs Bum! Dave has caught up me. Typico. Why in the name of Koch's are boy type persons so fast?

"Kittykat, I can explain – "but I was so hurt I hit number 10 on the f.t scale i.e. went ballisticisimus at him.

"How could you Dave? You told me you lurved me and would be good with each other and as soon as I turney my back you go round hugging some randomosity girl type person. How hypocritosity is that? You want me to know how I feel about you, then you go do, this I am just full of shockedosity. Just when Mr Vole and the Barmy's and Aces say we belong together, and you look at me as if you agree. Ah! I am so angry, my brain can't even send his instant messages to my lips to tell them what to say" Well done brain, now I look like a complete fule who doesn't make sense. Dave the Laugh looks vair as shocked as a shocked agog god.

" Kittykat, I do lurvee you and I do think we will be good together, I mean come on you're a sex kitty of the first water and I am Jack the biscuit, together we would make the world vair full of jealousosity. Sex Kitty, that was my sister Lizzie, she has just came back from Crocodile-a-go-go land after being there for five years, I was just giving her a welcome hug, it wasn't some random girl, I mean I know I am Jack _le _biscuit but I am also _le _gentleman, I would never do that to you Gee." Gadzooks! I feel like such a fule. It was his sister! I cannot believe it, I feel like such a twat on twat drugs. Brain! What do I say?

"Ohmygiddygodspyjamas! I am vair sorry Dave, I feel like _le _fule." Well that wasn't too bad brain, not badaroonie you are turning up trumps in these last few minutes. _Tres bien_. Dave the Laugh just started bursting out laughing like a laughing type person on laughing gas.

" Oh Sex Kitty, you are a loon, but it's okay how was you too know it was just my sister because well you didn't know I had a sister and well I am Jack the Biscuit the Biscuit all girls lurrrveees." Cheeky cat. It's marvy that he isn't mad, ah I still feel like such a fool and my beetrootosity is not Sex Kittyish.

1 minute later 

Dave the Laugh gave me a quick hug then grabbed my hand like a grabbing hand type person and dragged me a long as a dragger along people type person. He took me too wear his sister was, and I looked at her. She looked like a female version of Dave! Freaky deaky! When we was in front of her, she looked at me and said

"Hiya hi and gidday mate, are you the so called Biscuit's girly type friend? Hahaha! I am filled with sympathetiosity for you, he is vair madosity personified unlike me who has never been in loon land like my mutti and Davey Wavey and is the only norma normal one in this family and is _le _cool. I suppose Dave has never mentioned me, he is vair rude, I am Lizzie, Dave's vair marvy sister type person, I have just come back from Kangaroo-a-go-go land, where I have been listening to the call of the alligator and spreading my marvyness for all to see. "I just stared at her, and then burst out laughing like deflating laughing planet laughing its last laugh. Her and Dave just stared at me like I was a loon. Then Lizzie said

"Well done Dave, you have got yourself a girly type friend who is as madosity personified as you, but she is vair better at pulling it of then you, you so called Biscuit."

"You should be proud of having Jack the Biscuit as a brother, I have to deal with Lizzie _le _freak as a sister!"

"You are vair rude, Davey. You have turned this into a fisticuff at dawn, so in the name of mutti's whale songs, Nose war!" And then started pinching and pulling each others nose which made me laugh even more.

10 minutes later

Oh my poor tummy it had no chance, it's had so much aggers today from laughy type laughing. They finally stopped when Lizzie fell over her suitcase which I hadn't noticed before. She just got up laughing her face off, and no not literally you vair dim people. As she strolled in she said

"Mutti, your vair marvy and double cool with knobs on daughter type person is back so leave the whales to sing on their own and adore your daughter" She is _tres _amusante. I looked at Dave and said,

"I actually lurvee your family, they are madosity personified!"

"I know they are Sex Kitty, it is hard being the only normal one in this family" I just raised my eyebrows at him and no he did not literally raise his eyebrows with his hand. So he did what he thinks is his vair wise nod when actually it just makes him look like _le _fule. I just laughed. So he dragged me in his house like a dragger type person. What is it with him and this dragging type fandango? It is vair rude.

In the Biscuits bedroomy 

Ho hums pigs bum. Dave the Biscuit's room is so vair messarooni that I fell on my face. Cue Dave the Laugh having another laughing spaz.

Still on the ground while Dave the so called gentleman has a laugh spaz

Ow I really can't move from the pain of all my falling over fandangos combined. Dave is just standing there having a vair, vair long laughing spaz while his Kittykat is in pain on the floor. Finally Dave the Laugh has heeded the call of the gentleman and has helped me up.

Laying on Dave's bed

Dave has insisted we watch TV on the Dave channel, because he says it is a tribute to him. Yeah sure Dave, you go on believing that. The lucky biscuit has got sky in his room which has marvy channels like MTV but he insists on watching the Dave channel when he doesn't even like what is on. Vair madosity if you ask me and I think you just did.

5 minutes later 

I just had a genius flash of the whatsit! I was just thinking about how _tres _weird it was when I remembered something from the posters so lovingly put up by the Aces and Barmy's.

"Dave, have you got a laptop?" Ohmygosh! That was the norma normalist sentence you have ever come up with brain. I am sorry proud of you! **I am le genius.** Yeah sure, now shh Dave's speaking.

"Yesaroonie Kittykat, why?"

"Do you remember on those vair embarrisingosity posters it said that if you went on Viking Queen's profile you could view vair funny videos of us? "

"Ah I get it; you want to watch them to see how much of a loon you look." I have said it many times and I will say it again, he is a vair cheeky cat.

20 minutes later

Ohmygiddygodspyjamas! My tummy hurts so much from my sudden laugh spaz. Hahaha! Me and Dave are _deux comedie _geniuses. The videos are vair funny, especially our food fight; oh I bet people are jealous of our funosity, creativosity, loonosity and you know just generally full of jealousosity. Gadzooks! They have had 1 million hits! I bet loads of people from school have seen it as they have normal parents that will buy them laptops unlike my so called parents who still think this is the stone age and won't even buy me a mobile phone. That must be classed as child abuse, I bet my story would send shockwaves of shockosity and I would get millions of squids from my sympathethicers. Sounds blood marvy to me, almost worth having to stone age cavemen as parental loons. Hahaha I still amaze myself with my creativosity!

5 minutes later 

Dave has clicked of YouTube and has signed in to his msn, another thing I don't have because of the vair selfishosity of my unstable parental loons that won't buy me a laptop. Woah Dave has got a lot of people online. He changed his name from "Dave the biscuit with a goat emotion don't ask me why I will never understand the madosity that is boys.

1 minute later

Ohmygiddygodspyjamas! Emma, as in Dave's ex for any confuzzled type people, has just popped up saying

"Oh my god Dave, what are you doing with her at this time of night? Vair diffo from his mates like Dec and Rollo who both put to him "Get in there mate!" Tres pathetico.

So dave replied: "That's none of your business Emma as you are not my girly type friend and if you must know she is here this late because she was having dinner with us and time got away from us and we are sitting on the sofa on msn." I looked at him, and he said "I know, it's a lie but I don't want her going on forever at me. " Wow freaky deaky he just answered the question in my head. Is he Mystic Meg or something? Emma replied:

"Don't give me that rubbish, you are probably laying on your bed snogging and about do something, well don't let me stop you I have some rumours to spread about a certain Biscuit and Kittykat." Then signed offline. What a prize bitch!

"What a price bitch!" Nope that wasn't me that was Dave being Mystic Meg again. I looked at him then said

"That is so freaky deaky; you said exactly what I was thinking. Are you Mystic Meg in disguise?

"Nope I am not on the turn and calling myself Mystic Meg, I am Jack the Biscuit. Ah great cleverosity minds think alike you know! "

"Yeah sure Dave you keep telling yourself that, and by the way we both know there is only one great cleverosity mind here and its mine!" Dave the Laugh just laughed and said:

"Yeah and you keep believing that Kittykat" Cheeky cat, I didn't say anything back because I am vair too sleepy too…zzzzzzzzzzz.

Home – 7:00 

Ah that had to be the funniest time I've had a breakfast ever. Not at this loony bin of course I mean at Dave's Biscuit Tin. There were 2 different arguments going on a once, the microwave exploded because Lizzie had put lip gloss in it by accident, now if it was my mutti I would have been grounded for about a month but Dave's mutti just laughed. Oh to have a mutti like that. As I was leaving I heard Lizzie scream "Why in the name of the marvy _moi _is there fish eggs in my breaky?" Then I heard his Mutti shout back "Ohmygiddygod! You ate the baby fish!" _tres, tres and _thrice_ tres amusante! _

10 minutes later

What is it with my family? I was quite happy chappy in the kitchen, trying to find food to avoid scurvy, you know the sort of thing I am adding to my list that I will need therapy for and get loads of sympthaticers and loads of squids. They all came bursting in like loons on loon bursting in experts. Gadzooks! They are all smiling; well Libby's smile is _le _scary. Vati came over and hugged me. Erlack! He touched me!

"Here is my wonderful daughter!" Ohmygiddygod! What is wrong with vati?

"Vati, what in the name of Herr Kaymer's germanosity is going on? You are being vair nice and finally seeing your daughter's marvyness. What's going on that have made you have hysterics?" Hahaha vair funny if you ask me, and I think you just did.

"Georgia Nicolson, don't be so rude about your vati" He's back, oh well I can say on my interview with Oprah, that my father was a normal father for all of two minutes, I think she would be vair filled with shockosity and want to do experiments on him or put him in a loon hospital. Either ones fine with me.

"Georgia, Uncle Eddie got signed for a strip club in Hamburger-a-go-go land and we are all going over there paid for by the club. Isn't that great?" Hahaha! Do be serious, how is going to Hamburger-ago-go to see the baldy-o-gram great? The only bright side to this is that Pervy Molesting Cousin James will be gone! Yes thank you Baby Jesus for that now convince your transvestite vati to make my transvestite vati to let me stay here on my own.

"I am not going to Hamburger-a-go-go land to watch the baldy-o-gram and have to be in the prescience of Pervy Cousin James. Erlack!" It's is making my tummy full of sickosity just having my brain think about it.

"Don't talk about your cousin like that!" and then with Bibs shouting "Fight, fight, fightey, fight" The gigantibous and long argument started.

1 hour later

Yes, Yes and Thrice Yes! After about three hours of _moi _using vair good trickerosity and cleverosity, **erm I think you mean my trickerosity and cleverosity, **Yeah sure brain you keep telling yourself that. Anyway my point: I am being left here on my own. Free house! And do you people type persons know what that means? Party time!

10 minutes later

Yes! I have had the genius flash of the whatsit. I am having a vair marvy Makeup and Hair products party! Oh my cleverosity just amazes me! Mutti and Vati are going tomorrow and the party will be the day after. I am going to be a busy Sex Kitty (oo-er) and no you cheeky minxes not like that. Hmm I have somehow got to get the message out about this party to people type people who don't go to school. Hmm I think it may be time to call Mr Laugh i.e. Dave the Laugh for those slightly confuzzled or dim people. Ringing Dave.

"Bonsoir, you are through to the Biscuit in his Biscuit Tin, what services do you require from Dave the Biscuit." _Tres amusante. _

"Oo-er Mr Laugh, look its Kittykat, and the services I require from Dave _le _biscuit are too go on your msn and spread the word about my vair marvy Makeup and Hair Products party on friday! And yes before you get all full of offendedosity yes you are invited!"

"Marvy Kittykat! I'll do my Biscuit duties and spread the word, although I am not talking to blunder boys. "

"Of coursey! Ta very much, I am away laughing on a fast camel!" and hung up before he could say I stole his camel. Hahaha! Tres amusante.

Blodge 

I told all the Ace Gang about my vair marvy party and they are _tres _excited. They already have their costumes planned

Jas- Mascara, she is going have her hair backcombed for the brush and wear all black for the mascara.

Rosie- a blow up powder costume, don't ask me where she got one from, that girl is too much of a loon for me to understand.

Mabs – Eyeliner, dressed in all black with a black party hat for the tip.

Ellen – Foundation so she is going to wear all beige

Jools- Red lipstick, so she is wearing all red.

_Tres bien! _

Thursday – 5:00 pm

Yes! Yes! And Thrice Yes! The loon family have all gone, oh and did I mention they are taking grand vati as well so I won't have the vair elderly loon disturbing my vair fabbity fab party! Right now of to the shops for food.

1 hour later

Ouchy ouch! These bags have given me a hunchback. This is my karma for having a party. Typico. I have all the essentials though.

Doritos

Coke

Lemonade

Fish- for Sven, Rosie warned me he may go even more crazy

Mini sausages

Crisps

Mini sausage rolls

Vair loads of chocolate

A new pink lip gloss

Vair good if you ask me.

Friday – 5: 00 pm 

Yay one hour until my marvy party starts! All the Ace Gang are here and we look vair fabby in our outfits. I decided I would be pink lip gloss so I am wearing a baby pink high waisted skirt with a pink top, pink lip gloss, pink heels and have sprayed glitter all over me for the sparkle effect. See I am vair clever; it takes vair cleverosity to put together an outfit like mine,

7: 00 pm 

It is so packed in here, Dave the Laugh really got the message around! Its so marvy I have shown everyone all our dances and they are in lurvee with them. Dave the Laugh made me laugh, as his costume he was hair gel so he stuck bits of fur with gel in them all over him, I have a strong suspicion he borrowed them from The Viking King i.e. Sven. Its vair funny dancing with him as his hair was tickling me and making us have laugh spaz's. Dave suddenly dragged me out like a dragger type person does, into the garden. What is it with him and dragging me? Then he dragged me over to the tree and stood over me, vair close. He really is vair gorgey.

10 minutes later

Ho Hum Pigs Bum. The bet is over.

_Phew this took for ages to write. I was writing this from 11:00pm to 1:30 last night and get 4 pages done and woke up at 6 today to get another 3 done. See how much I lurvee you to get up early, well early for me. Should be another update tomorrow or day after. Sorry for another cliffy I just couldn't resist. a little bit of dave and gee aggers was necessary. Please review: D Hope you like it xx_


	7. You are like Lederhosen!

A/N I don't own the character's Louise Rennison does :( I only own Dave's mutti, the cinema cleaner Elvis, Wendy and Lizzie.

_Chappy 7 :) I have already got chappy nine in my head but have got writers block on chappy 8 so that may take vair longer. This isn't my best chappy as I was having writers block on this as well. I have just published my fanfic with songs that I think relate to Georgia and Dave with a bit of a story or dialogue. I have another proper fanfic planned but wont start until I have finished this. Sorry for the lateness of the chappy had a gcse exam today :| i have serious writers block so if there is no update tomoroow i am vair sorry and dont flame me :D Any ideas you have for what you wanna see in this would me marvy and very welcome :D i hope you enjoy this, it is not vair long._

10 minutes later

Ho hum pigs bum! As Dave was standing over me, I was looking at his eyes which are vair gorgey, and I suddenly was melting in to them and I couldn't resist my urge to snog him.

1 minute later

I lost the snogging bet. _Merde! _Oh fabby I am going to have to listen to Dave go on about how I can't keep my hands of him because he is Jack _le _Biscuit. Ah snogging rambling! No! No! And Thrice No! That is not a marvy thing to do. Then he pulled away. No stop stopping!

"Hahaha! Jack _le _Biscuit triumphs again! This just proves that The Biscuit is the Biscuit is a girl magnet." Vair bigheaded if you ask me and I think you do.

"Shh you, my lips temporarily signed offline and missed me my brains instant message from my brain which was not to pucker."

"Just admit it Kittykat, you just can't resist me I mean look at me I am gorgey porgey and sexy beyond words! Now should I punish them for you?" Then somehow tripped over his own feet and landed face down on the ground and the ground was vair muddy. This resulted in his "marvy" face covered in mud. Hahaha _tres amusante. _Oh_ I _feel a laughy type laugh spaz coming on.

10 minutes later – still laughing

Yep indeedy I was right! I am still having a vair painosity filled laughing spaz at him. Its vair, vair funny to see Dave the Laugh covered in _le _mud. He is just looking at me laughing like a loon as if I am some sort of _le _freak type person. Hmm there is that gorgey grin, what is the biscuit up to? Then he threw mud at me which landed like a landing thing on my face. Erlack! I will need to redo my makeup now which could take vair long to do. Oh the laugh spaz's are taking over my body again. _Tres amusante. _

Back inside party 

Hahaha! The Ace Gang rides again! We have done our famous dances for the jealousosity filled guests. Ah yes marvy dancing done by _moi! _Ah some complete _le _fule has trod on my foot! Vair bitch! Hmm who is that I am leaning on?

1 minute later 

Of coursey it would have to be Dave the mud splattered on face type biscuit. However, he is a vair marvy air guitarist!

12:30 am 

I am vair, vair exhaustosity filled! The last of the party people have just gone, and know I have to clean up the vair big mess that those fules of the first water party type people have left.

12:35 am

Ah I might just drop from being Gee-arella. No, no vati will go ballisticisimus if I leave it, and he catches me cleaning up the party messarooni that he didn't exactly approve. Ok it would be more accurate to say that he didn't approve it at all and that he hasn't got a vair clue about. Hahaha more fool him, I say. I'll just have a quick lie down on the sofa, kicking all the wubish off it. Ah this is vair snugly bugly…zzzzzzzzzzz

8:00 am 

_Merde! _I didn't clean up last night and the loons will be back in two hours and will go ballisticisimus if well mutti and vati will; Libby will probably make a slide out of the messarooni or make a new cat basked for Angus and Gordy you know the usual toddly type person things she does.

I minute later

Ohmygiddygodspyjamas! When I woke up I didn't actually looked at the messarooni but just as I was about to get up and start doing my duties as Gee-arella I realised that the messarooni was gone. Had cleaning up type people come in the night and cleaned it away? If they have they have probably left a bill somewhere as they are vair cheeky minx's type minx people. Hmm but where did the cheeky cats put it?

1 minute later

Yes Sherlock Nicolson has found a piece of paper that is vair going to be the bill.

1 minute later

Once again, I was vair, vair wrong like a wrong person who is the wrong god. It was from Dave the laughy Laugh. It said:

"To Kittykat, when I came back to ask for my payment for winning the bet, you were conked out on the sofa like a conked out on the sofa type person. So out of my vair large supply of niceosity I got rid of the mess of your vair selfishosity filled guests so your vati didn't go ballisticisimus at you. Just a warning, you now owe me for my niceosity and making me turn into Dave-arella and you giving me snogs for winning the bet! :) Lots of lurrvee, The Biscuit. xxx

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! He is vair sweet, he went on the turn and turned into Dave- arella so my vati didn't hit number 10 on f.t scale or as some people type people the "losing it scale". This is why I lurrvee Dave the Laugh, he is always so nice.

1 minute later 

Hang on a minute! Did I say I lurvee Dave the Laugh? **Yes you did, by the way if you could see me I have got a smug type smug on my face, hahaha! This proves that you do lurvee Dave!" **I wasn't talking to you brain so shh. I am just vair vair tired and that's why I said that.

5 minutes later

Decided to call Dave, and thank him for turning to Dave-arella.

"You are through to the Biscuit. How may I be of service to you?"

"Oo-er Mr Biscuit, It's the Kittykat, and out of you vair caringnosity you have already been of service to me, as Dave-arella. Thank you vair, vair much for that Dave, vati would have killed me."

"You are vair welcome Sex Kitty, but like I said in the vair cleverosity filled note I left you, you owe me,"

"What sort of owing type owing?"

"Ah now if I told you that Kittykat, then it wouldn't be fun for me!" Then hung up. Cheeky cat.

2 hours later

The vair cheek of Mutti. She bursts in like two gigantibous nunga-nungas on legs which she is and moans because there is a speck of dust! It's cleaner then when she left, which I told her and this led to "Don't be so rude! Go to your room!" I don't even know why I try being nice to my mutti loon.

Walking to school on my owney

Oh great, here comes the Handbag Clothes Horse drunk as a drunk type person.

He came running up to me, vair almost skipping and said vair loudly "You are like lederhosen!" How vair, vair rude he is! I am not like lederhosen! "You are unattractive and tight and vair common" then skipped off. Marvy start to the day.

1st period R.E 

Ah all snugly bugly at the back of the class while Miss Wilson drones on about pigs being dirty or something she thinks is related to R.E, anyone who has a half a brain knows that pigs have nothing to do with religion. Anywho the Ace Gang were rambling on about my vair marvy party. The new snogging scale gossip is that Mabs finally got into the sixes i.e. tongues, nip libbling, ear snogging. She did it with Ed, who I didn't know was her horn type partner. When I asked her out of shockosity why she didn't tell me she said "Well, I did tell the Ace Gang while you were there but you were too interested in talking to Dave the Laugh. What is going one with you two anyways?" Then all the Ace Gang started doing the staring fandango at me, so being the vair niceosity type person I am I told them all about me losing the bet and Dave turning into Dave-arella. They just sat there as shocked as 5 agogs type agogs that have the highest education thingy in being agogs. Jas suddenly turned of from being a agog and smirked and said.

"Ha! I knew you would lose that bet, you are promiscuous tart. Seriously Gee you need to eschew redbottomosity with a firm hand (oo-er) and go out with Dave." Gadzooks! What do they expect me to say to that?

"Jas, just because my lips have puckering problems does not mean you can call them names. I don't know if I lurvee Dave or not so I can't just go out with him you spoon!" No that last bit wasn't supposed to be said lips!

"Everybody else can see that you have the particular horn for him so why cant you?"

" I don't know If I have got the horn-" Then Hawkeye who I hadn't noticed was in the room, said :

"Georgia Nicolson, the whole class does not need to know about you snogging a boy that you have the horn for. You are a disgrace Nicolson; you act like a prostitute outside of school a couple of weeks ago with that Italian fellow and now you are talking for the whole class to hear about you acting like a prostitute with a boy you are not romantically involved in. You need to stop acting like a tart and grow up, you are a disgrace against the name of the school and you need to grow up and act like a lady for once!"

How bloody dare her! It wasn't for the whole class to here, it was a privatey chatty with the Ace Gang. How dare she embarrass me like that? She has to be eaten. The Ace Gang and the whole class were doing the staring fandango. So I said

"Well Miss Heaton, I didn't think it was right of teachers to talk about a student like that if it wasn't about school behaviour, and well your no stranger to redbottomosity if you get what I mean and I think you do ( mouthed Herr Kaymer). " There was an Ooooh then a silence. Hawkeye's eyes looked like they may pop out of her head in angerosity.

"3 detentions Nicolson" then stormed out like a storming out type person.

Walking home all on my owney. 

I am so vair filled with angerosity at Hawkeye; she is such a bitch of the first waters! Then someone put their hands over my eyes and said "Guess who" making me jump about a mile into the air. It was a certain Biscuit i.e. Dave for all the slightly dim. His gorgey grin went away when he saw my vair angry face.

"What's up Kittykat?" and gave me a quick hug, then I told him what Hawkeye did, and he looked shocked for a second then it changed to a grin. "What is funny about the situation Mr Laugh?

"I just thought of a vair _tres amusante _way of embarrassing Hawkeye and most of your teachers." Marvy.

1 hour later

Me, Dave, The Aces and The Barmy's are sneaking into school later to set up some vair marvy pranks on the sadists i.e. teachers!

The tricks are:

Put fart cushions under all teachers chair

Rig buckets of the water over door for when the teachers step in.

Set up some bangers to go off in assembly

Repaint Hawkeyes picture

Let of a stink bomb in Hawkeyes classroom

Destroy her classroom

Totally embarrass Hawkeye.

1 hour later

Yes the Aces and Barmy look vair marvy in black, for camouflage of coursey. Ah sneaky sneaky into the back of school. Yes! We are in. Dave decided to be like a chief for military type person.

" Right me, Rollo and Dec will set up the bangers, Tom, set up the stink bomb with timer, Ed help Gee, Ellen and Jools set up the buckets and the rest of you do the whoopee cushions and general destruction of classrooms and Hawkeyes painting." We all just stared at him so he said "Get busy you lazy minxes, this is payback for the humiliation sadists or more commonly known as teachers give daily." We all jumped into action like jumping into action type people.

5 minutes later

Setting up buckets over doors are vair harder than I thought, me and Jools got to bored with it, Ellen just had a ditherspaz so Ed ended up doing most of the work so me, Jools and Ellen joined in, in destroying the classrooms which was vair fun. If you ask me and you just have the best part was destroying her portrait, she now has a moustache, pig nose, big ears and even bigger eyes. _Tres amusante _stuff.

10 minutes later

_Sacre Bleu! _I went in to check if Dave, Rollo and Dec had finished, and nearly got blown up by a loose banger. I looked at Dave from where I was on the floor and as usual when I make _le _fule out of myself he was having a laughing spaz. Typico. Ouch my bum-oley hurts again now! Rollo and Dec were looking at us like we are loons, which we are but thats not the point. i heard crashing from the classroom, and then Ro-Ro shouting "and thats how the Viking Queen breaks a chair" Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! _Vair _funny. Oh great now i am having a laughing spaz

10 minutes later

_Merde_! Who is that coming into school?

_This isn't best I had serious writers block because I was all tres worried about my exam. I am also having writers block on what to write for chapter 8, it may be a filler to fill in time to chappy 9 and 10 that I have loads of ideas for. Please review :) you know you wanna ;) If anyone has any ideas on what they want in this fanfic let me know through reviews! Hopefully will be able to update tomorrow, maybe even two if I get out of my writing block funk. Hoped you liked this :D lurvee you all xxx_


	8. My Snoggle Lady

A/N I don't own the characters. Louise Rennison :( I only own Dave's mutti, the cinema film cleaner Elvis, Wendy and Lizzie and new character that has been mentioned in chappy 2.

_Yay chappy 8 :) , having writers block on this so may not be vair good but let me know what you think. Another new character is in this; well technically she got a mention in chappy 2. I lurvee a certain thing that happens in this chapter I think you will know what I mean once you read it. A massive thanks to the marvy reviewers: Earth Kid Tree Hugger, Clumbsy-Clara, xcoffesionsandtwilightismex, .. your marvy reviews. They are vair appreciated and give me the will to write chappies quicker :D Also to people who have added this to favourite stories or subscribed to the story I am mega grateful :) Makes me feel all special :D Btw for the need of this story I am making Georgia 15. This is a bit delayed because of having to do choires then my cousin came round and used my laptop and I couldn't get it back off him for about 3 hours, he is vair strong. :( _

I minute later

Ohmygiddygodspyjamas! Someone is opening the gate into school! What if its Slim or Hawkeye, they are vair obsessosity filled with school, it is their life the saddos. This is not the way, they were supposed to find out. Hmm squinty, squinty to see who it is, I need Hawkeye's hawk eyes to see what sadist it is. Hmm maybe Captain Laugher Pants i.e. Dave for the dim pallies, has super vision along with he biscuitosity superpowers. Him and Rollo were now messing around like messing around type people with the props from the play.

" Oi, shut up you fules! There is someone coming into school!" They stopped when I said this, looking like vair fules as they had beards and swords on their head and Dave was wearing a dress, oh god I hope he is not on the turn. **Oh yes, you wouldn't want that would you? As you wouldn't be able to exchange troths with him." **Shh brain, we need to be quiet and be escapy like persons. They were just doing goldfish impressions. Vair helpful. Then we heard Ro-Ro's shouting and laughing so we ran to tell the others and as usual in situations were they are shocked or don't know what to say they did the goldfish expressions. As I said before vair helpful. So I said like an in charge type person

"Look we got to get out of here because I am not getting vair long detentions and having to sit through Slims chins doing their versions of belly dancing while she rants and rambles on so lets go you spoons!" If you ask me, I think my cleverosity and the thought of having to watch Slim's chin belly dance made them commit the turn of goldfishes to vair lunatic loons rushing around like rushing things.

10 minutes later

Finally made it out of the door like rusher and trippy uppy things in a rusher and trippy upper competition to get out of the door. We had to go on the field, we were doing that vair funny comedy things actor and actress's type people do in movies. I.e. hiding behind trees, rolling then hiding behind things and Dave the Laugh did a slide thingy across the grass which only resulted in him getting vair dirtyosity and being stuck there for what he said was ageees. _Tres tres amusante. _I would have had a laughing spaz but Jazzy Spazzy put her hand over my mouth to stop me like a stopping someone from having a laughing spaz type person. Erlack! Jas has touched my lips in some way, I feel like a lezzie.

1 minute later 

Hahaha! Got her back for making me feel like I was a victim of a lezzie attack by biting her hand. Oh I really wanted to have a laughing spaz but I didn't want someone to put their hands over my mouth again. I am vair victimised like a victim type person. Sneaky sneaky behind science block, sneaky sneaky behind the caretakers hut.

2 minutes later

Erlack! Elvis and Mrs Elvis are in there number sixing. I swear does he live in this hut or something type fandango?.

1 second later

It just hit me! And no a hitting type hitting thing did not come and hit me in the face like a hitting someone in the face type person. It was Elvis who I saw coming into school, I mean who else has keys? Slim would have had to use her vair rare elephant figure to break down the gate, and then the police type people would have thought it was an escaped elephant. Hahaha! I am _le _comedy genius with vair loads of cleverosity. I looked at the Ace Gang and The Barmy Army and they looked just as grossed out as I did. Then we heard Mrs Elvis say, " Thank Jesus, that you have your own hut here or we would never get any privacy with the kids at home, now lets get back to business" and started snogging the face of Elvis. Erlack I feel like I am watching some sort of unstable caretaker porn. I looked at Ro-Ro and she got her camera out and said " Now this is going to come in handy" and took a picture of the erlack porn.

"Ro-Ro is it not bad enough that I had to see that elderly unstable loon caretaker porn once, I do not want a picture to remind me." She just shook her head at me then ran into the library so we all followed her like following Ro-Ro type people. When we got there, she had somehow got the picture of the porn onto the computer, seeing as I have stone age parental loons that wont let me have technology like laptops I do not see how she got the pictures on there, she must be vair cleverosity filled. Anyway back to _le _point she printed the pictures out about 300 times. We all just looked at her like loons, shame Sven wasn't here really we may make more sense out of him, for those pallies wondering why he didn't come its because he is vair too loud and clumsy.

" I have in my hands are vair new marvy prank, stick pictures of Elvis and Mrs Elvis snogging all over school so he is vair embarrassed and might trip over his old broom again" We did the staring fandango at her for a second then I said "Brillopads! Lets get started like getting started type people." We all started running around like loons running, putting posters everywhere we could think of: the p.e changing rooms, the canteen, all classrooms, Slims office, The kitchen, the library, to tables, chairs to save you years of telling you where we put the vair embarrisingosity filled pictures, we covered every inch of every block, classroom, hallway etc. It has to be said that Ro-Ro is a vair genius filled with geniusosity sometimes. _Tres amusante_! Dave and the Barmy's are doing there vair funny comedy slides and hiding fandangos.

1 minute later 

Hahaha! They have all just stacked it over each other, it was vair funny seeing them all fall over each other, us Aces were just having laughing spaz's and standing over them when they dragged us down to.

2 minutes later

Their vairs like a sandwich down here, I am being squashed between Dave and Tom as the whole group had a gigantibus laughing spaz together. Ow! My bum-oley is in vair gigantibus aggers again. Lord Sandra, why do you enjoy hurting my vair bum-oley? It is bum-oley abuse. My poor bum-oley is vair victimised. Poor, poor bum-oley.

Walking home 

We finally got out of our vair big bundle and snuck out of school like sneaking out of school type persons. All the coupley type couples were all snugly with each other, Sven had come yodelling along so I couldn't be goosegogs extraordinaire with Ro-Ro, and her replacement was of course Mr Davey the Laugh. We kept on bringing up the vair funny fandangos that had happened to us lately like the lassoing, him falling over in mud, me nearly getting blown up, and me with the bin on my head. Oh deary me, I think my body is possessed with laughing fits.

2 minutes later

The coupley type couples have stopped being all snugly bugly and snogging to do the staring fandango at me, just because I am having a vair random laughing spaz on my own doesn't mean I am _le _freak to be staring fandangoed at.

15 minutes later

Just me and Dave the laugh now, strolling along like strolling along type persons.

"Kittykat, do you wanna come back to mine? My mutti wont mind she lurrvees you in a non lezzie way of course and Lizzie thinks its great that your madosity personified."

Hmm. Well vati and mutti don't technically know I've gone out, well okay more accurate to say they don't have a clue like two people in Don't Have a Clue Land. I can always just say Jas invited me over too asleep. Oh stop rambling brain, we need to give Dave the Laugh an answer.

"Yep indeedy, can I borrow your phone? I need to do some vair cleverosity trickery and flattery to persuade old Jazzy Spazzy the Vole to phone my parents and tell them I am sleeping at hers."

Dave just raised his eyebrows at me and I have told you millions times that he didn't literally lift his eyebrow with his hand and said as he was passing me his phone.

" Why don't you just ring your parental loons and tell them yourself you loon." Ah he doesn't see the genoisity of my plan, I shall enlighten him to my vair cleverosity filled plan.

"Well _moi petite _pallie, if I phoned saying it they are most likely to go ballisticisimus at me for not asking them, but if Jazzy Spazzy tells them they will just say ok. See vair clever if you ask me and I think you just did." Hahaha! Kittykat's vair marvy intellectualosity wins again.

"You are a loonie, Kittykat now hurry up and phone her, its vair nippy noodles out here."

"Hello, Jas its Gee."

" Hello its Jas" _Qu-est le point ?_

" I know its you Jas, now seeing as you are my vair marvy bestie chumlie wummlie, I need a vair teeny weenie favour from you. "

"I am not doing it."

"But you don't even know what it is"

"Its you, so it is bound to be stupid" Vair rude, once she has done her favour she is going to a vair good duffing up.

"It only involves telling my parental loons that I am staying at yours. Please, please, please Jazzy. Il do whatever you want in return."

"Okay I will do it if you buy me three more owls, midget gems and a new lippy of my choice."

Hahaha! She is s silly vole for now specifically saying when I had to buy her these things by.

"Okay Jazzy Spazzy, it's a deal. Tatty bye" and I hung up before she could ask where I was going if I was not at hers. See I am Mystic Meg I knew that would be her next question. I gave the Biscuit back his phone and said " Oh yes, Kittykat is _le _queen of tricking! I am totally covered, now lets get to yours its vair nippy noodles." And like we were doing a role swapping type fandango I dragged him along to his Biscuit Tin.

In the Biscuit Tin

Hahahaha! I luurvee Dave's house! Its vair chaotic and madosity personified. When we came in I could here Lizzie screaming "Mutti, why in the name of alligators have you put your vair disgusting nature type stuff in my wardrobe? Eww! Ohmygiddygod a snail has exploded over one of my fabby tops? Why did you keep a snail in my wardrobe? Ah and Cadie has slobbered all over my favourite shoes! Why does this family have a loon obsession with destroying my fabbity fab clothes? I know they are vair marvy but you don't have to take your jealousosity on my poor clothes!" Haha tres amusante. The front door suddenly burst open like a suddenly burst open thing and a little girl dressed in a rubber ring and a tiger costume came rushing in like a loon on loon tablets but in a madosity personified way. She rushed over to Dave and started snoggling his knees. Ah this must be Dave's little toddly type sister person Dave mentioned before. After she had finally stopped sucking his knees she looked at me and did a vair good resemblance to Libby's vair scary bananas smile. She said.

"Hewwo browny, are you Davey's snoggle lady? Ooooh you is a bad boy! Mr Mushroom is your snoggle man now, give him a snoggle. Snoggle!" Gadzooks it's like dealing with Libby.

5 minutes later

I was right, she is vair like Libby I ended up having to "snoggle" Mr Mushroom. Typico. I escape a night of having to deal with Libby and end up having to deal with another torturer type toddly type person.

10 minutes later

Dave's mutti saved my bacon; she dragged Cadie away to listen to her octopus songs. Eww who would want to listen to octopuses? Anyway we went to his bedroom and not like that you dirty minxes! We were just lying on the bed and again get your mind out of the gutters you dirty minxes! For the vair dim I don't actually mean to get your head out of an actual gutter it means stop thinking dirty thoughts. It was nice just being with him if you get what I mean. Then he got up on his elbow and looked at me then grinned and said:

"So My Snoggle Lady, what do you to say to you paying me back those snogs? Seeing as your being a lazy minx I'll start you off" then before I could say anything he leant in a snogged me. Yummy Scrumboes! Nip libbling galore!

30 minutes later

Still snogging, its vair marvy I don't want to stop at all. Suddenly Dave's door opened and Cadie burst in like a bursting in type person on bursting in drugs.

"Davey, you is a bad boy! You! Daveys Snoggle Lady! You are a bad boy too! Mr onion is your boyfriend! Smell Smell! Hahaha hoggyhoghog I is funny arnt I? Now into bed bad boys! Go on skedaddle!" So we under the covers, snuggled up and pretended to go sleep so she would leave but just like Libby does she came in and layed between us, going "Naicee, Naicee bad boys!" _Sacre bleu!_ I hope her and Bibs never met, they would go for world domination. Scary bananas or what…zzzzzzzzz

1 hour later

Ah what in the name of duck billed platypuses eggs is that sucking my toes? Oh yeah I am at Dave's Biscuit Tin so it must be Cadie. Erlack! Its vair horrible. Suddenly it stopped and she fell asleep again. _Tres _weird.

8:00 am 

Hmm all snugly bugly with Dave the Laugh. I wonder what torture Cadie was going to do to wake up us. As if she had been ear wigging my brain she appeared with a fish that she then used to wake up Dave with. He bolted up and fell of the bed. Oh what larks! But it really is too early for a laughing spaz so girdey loins lips! Cadie ran away giggling with Mr Fish.

"Ow! Why does she have to do that? Wanna make it better Kittykat?" Cheeky cat.

"Too early for snogs Mr Laughy Laugh, come on I am starving lets go do breakfast." Then doing the role swapsies thingy again with me doing the dragging fandango again. Hahahaha _tres amusante. _

Breakfast

Vair chaotic, Lizzie is bragging about her marvy abilities of eating breaky and straightening her hair at the same time. I have to admit I was vair full of jealousosity she can do that, shame she didn't realise that Cadie had cracked an egg on them so she was burning egg into her hair. Oh what larks! Daves mutti asked me if I was going to be round on the weekend again, she said if I was going to stay over again to leave some stuff here. See if that was my mutti she would of killed me for having a boy over but she is vair calm and marvy about it. So I said:

"Well its my birthday tomorrow so I will probably have to do some _tres_ tedious with my parental loons so probably wont be around"

"Oh wow, your big 16, marvy! Dave, you had better of gotten Georgia a marvy and double cool with knobs on pressie" Dave grinned at me then said

"Of course I have mutti what kind of a _le _fule do you take me for? Aww he has got me a birthday pressie.

Home 

Parental unstable loons are out so thankfully didn't have to deal with their loonness; I swear its hard being the only normal one in this family.

In bed 

For once I am all aloney on my owney, I wish Dave the Laugh was here.

1 minute later

It felt really natural when I woke up in his arms this morning and vair marvy. Hmm there is something about that boy that gives me the horn for him.

1 minute later

But is it Particular horn though?

2 minutes later

Pros 

He is vair nice

He is vair gorgey porgey

He is as vair loony as me

He understands all my wubish

He is so sweet

He is such a laugh

He can make me go jelloid with just a grin

He is all ways there for me

Smells vair nice

Lurvees me

A vair good friend

He's family like me

I like his family

We have marvy funny times today

I don't have to try and act normal or learn a language for him.

Cons

Erm…he…erm… he blows out his cosmic horn, well actually if he lurves me that isn't cosmic horn so erm… I cant believe I have no cons for him.

1 minute later

Ohmygiddygod! I LURRVEEE Dave the Laugh. I cant believe my _le _fule of a brain was right. Blimey o'Riley.

1 minute later

As if the Laugh had been ear wigging my brain, he rang just after I realised I was in lurvee with him. It has a nice ring to it.

"Hey Kittykat, all the Ace Gang and Barmy's decided to take you out tomorrow night, so be ready at 6 and I'll see you there. By the way Jas said she would come to yours at 6 so you can walk together." Wowsa! That was vair loads of information at once.

"Erm ok then." I felt vair weird with him now.

"Great. I'm away laughing on a laughing camel. Pip Pip!" Hmm he sounded a bit weird.

My birthday 

Has been a vair marvy day, mutti and vati were vair nice to me today they got me all I wanted which included a vair marvy dress that I am going to wear tonight, it is red which is the colour of lurvee! I didn't have to do some vair _enneyeux _family thing like going to the zoo or some vair random idea my parental loons come up with. We did what I wanted to do, stay at home all day all snugly bugly. It was vair nice, but now I have got to go get ready.

Getting ready 

Oh yes! If I do say so myself I look like a Sex Kitty! I have some red stilettos on with my red dress and I have curled my hair into vair fab curls and have done intense mascara but used soft shades around my eyes and have red lippy on with lip gloss on top for the sparkle effect. A red clutch bag finishes my outfit puurfectly! I am filling vair worried about seeing Dave later, I mean I have only just realised I lurrveed him and I already know he lurrvees me but I cant exactly ask him vair randomly to be horn partners. Oh well this should be fun.

Walking with Jas

She told me the rest of the Ace Gang and Barmy's are meeting us there, hmm she is being vair nice. Probably because it is my birthday so she has to be a vair nice chumlie pallie. Hmm she is vair dressed up too, she is wearing a black dress, leggings and heels. Hmm the Ace Gang are going to look vair fabby tonight! Hmm yes! The coconut club! Where me and Dave first met. I wonder if he remembers that? Its not vair loudosity I thought the music would be vair loud.

Just walking through the door 

Ohmygiddygod pyjamas! What in the name of Slims belly dancing chin is all this?

_Oh my god, I am vair exhausted this took ages to write. I hope you like it :) Gee finally realises she lurrvees Dave, that's the bit I lurvee about this chappy. I absolutely cant wait to start writing chappy 9 so that should be updated tomorrow. Just a warning there may be no updates on Friday because of another exam. I hate my sadists called teachers, I had no choice in doing this exam they are vair rude, its an early gcse so its harder than my normal exams, they are vair vair rude. Well tatty bye and please review, reviews make me feel all special and give me a purpose to get a chappy written quick :) Lurvee you all in a non- lezzie way :D_


	9. You Popped My Boy Entrancers!

A/N I don't own the characters. Louise Rennison :( I only own Dave's mutti, the cinema film cleaner Elvis, Wendy, Lizzie and Cadie.

_Chappy nine :) I have a feeling you will like a certain bit in this chappy. Sorry about delay of this I am in the middle of swapping rooms with my sister so have been getting all my clothes into her other wardrobe that used to be my other sisters, vair exhausting and had a another GCSE. Vair mean. I was also having writers block onto how to end this as all my marvy ideas seem to have gone out of my head :( so i have had to make up a new idea which will change most of the rest of plot, which is vair annoying. hope you like it anyway, review, review, review! Go on you no you wanna ;) May not be an update tomorrow but I will try I will explain at the bottom. _

1 minute later 

"Surprise!" Ohmygiddygod I know is here, All the Aces and Barmy's were there cheering. I saw Dave in the centre, so I walked towards him. He took my hands in his and looked me in the eye liking a looking in the eye type fandango. Everybody had gone vair silent.

"Kittykat, I thought for your birthday surprise I would do something you loved but I couldn't pinpoint what you would lurrvee the most so I thought I would fill the room with things and people you lurvee. Look around, there are inflatable boy entrancers, make up, an Angus type cat, rollers, straightners, midget gems. There are also posters up of your marvy friends the Aces and Barmy, people you lurrvee and hopefully I am included in that."

"Look Sex Kitty, you are the most beautiful, funny and amazing girl I have ever met, there is something about you that makes me like a drug addict. I have been in lurrvee with you for a vair long time and I would really lurrvee to be more than a matey type person to you so Georgia Nicolson, will you be my girley type person?" I just looked at him for a second before saying the only thing my lips would say.

"Yes, yes and thrice yes of course I will be!" and proceeded to give him the snog of my life. It was amazing; it was the first snog we have had as a proper coupley type couple if you don't include the red herring fandango which was real relationship. Every body was clapping, cheering and wolf-whistling. It was like my vair own love story! I felt like Taylor Swift singing Love Story! Oh wow, that's what song is playing freaky deaky! Dave took my hands and led me to the dance floor were we slow danced to Love Story. This is our song, the first song we danced to do. Yes! I am so vair happy! This has been the best birthday ever! I looked at Dave, he looked happier then I had seen him in ages, well I guess that's due to the fact that he was waiting for me for agees and we are now finally a proper couple type couple. I can't believe it took me so long to realise I lurrve Dave. It felt so marvy to say! I looked over to where the rest of the Barmy Aces Gang were, by the way for those pallies that are slightly confuzzled, this is the name I have made up for both our gangs as it is vair easier to say. All the couples were slow dancing, except for Ro-Ro and Sven who were snogging near the boy entrancers. Oh that makes me laugh, where in the name of _moi _did he get inflatable boy entrancers? I asked him that, whispering in his ear like a whispering type person and he just laughed his mutti the inflatable type things from the same place she got her TV costume from. Hmm I bet that place must be like visiting the loon land gift shop. As I was leaning in to Dave to give him another kiss I heard a gigantibus bang and me and Dave jumped like two jumping things shocked. Well so did everyone. I turned in the direction of Ro-Ro, there she was standing beside the popped boy entrancers and because my _le _fule of a brain still rambles on about a load of wubish I said:

"You popped my boy entrancers!" I was vair upset, I wanted to try them on I bet they would have looked vair marvy. Everybody just started having laughing spaz's at me but oh well they looked like loons so that is their karma. Ro-Ro just looked at me trying not having a laughing fit and said:

"Sorry Gee, me and Sven were snogging and we were walking backwards and I fell over and stacked it on to them. Oh well they died for good purposes, may they rest in peace." I just looked at her and she looked at me, it was a vair good staring fandango then I just burst out laughing like a laughing loon who inhaled a lot of laughing gas. Oh what larks!

Once he got over his laughing spaz Dave took my hand again and took me to where the sofas where and handed me a pressie. Awwrr!

"Aw Dave, you didn't have to get me anything, you threw a surprise party for me and made us horn partners, what better pressie could be more marvy?"

" Now Kittykat, how can I not give my girleyfriend a birthday pressie? Oh that sounds great to say!" then gave me a vair quick number 5 on the snogging scale i.e. open mouth snogging for the slightly dim or forgetful minxes. Then he told me to open it. So I did.

1 minute later

Ohmygiddygod! Its vair beautiful! Dave got me a vair pretty necklace with a heart dangling on the chain with diamonds all over the outline and inscribed was " I will love you forever Gee" Aww he is the sweetest person in the history of sweet type persons. I smiled at him and said:

"Its amazing Dave, thank you vair much" and proceeded to give him a snog to show my appreciosity for his vair marvy gift.

10 minutes later

Hahaha! Yes the Barmy Aces Gang ride again! We are doing are vair marvy dances like " lets go down this disco!" and the cowboy inferno hoedown dance. The crowd vair loved us and they kept shouting more! More horn! Yes! People finally understand the attraction of the horn. For once I have got Particular Horn and its even vair marvy that it is for Dave. He really is adorable. I am vair filled with loveosity.

1:30 am 

Me and the Barmy Aces Gang are all in the park, we are vair hyper. I think I have troth plighting hysterics, hmm doesn't explain why Ro-Ro is so hyper. I think the answer to that is called shots, she has had vair more than the rest of us although I could of drank vair loads as they are vair yummy scrumboes but I didn't want to get pissed and not remember most of my first night with Dave the Laugh as my proper boyfriend. Hmm the biscuit and Rollo are doing vair funny impressions.

5 minutes later

Hahaha! _Tres amusante! _Dave just did the funniest impression of the Italian Handbag, all ooh I am flash, and all don't touch the hair. It had to be the funniest impression in the history of funniest impressions although the one Rosie did was vair funny it was vair good then she added a bit of Ellen at the end and for those dim minxes that don't get it I mean she did Ellen's stuttering and erm-ing. _Tres amusante! _.

20 minutes later

We were all just laying on the grass, when the Blunder Boys came up vair drunk. So drunk that they couldn't walk properly and the funniest part was that Masimo was with them and was dressed in a hoodie and trousers and his hair was still that side of the handbag. They came up and was getting lairy to the Barmy's, all saying drunkenly:

"Yeah mate, your bird is going to snog me tonight"

" Mate, do you know good dentists"

"Hahaha! You are so going to get beaten up"

"You slags! Come over with us!"

Vair pathetic. So the Barmy's being the vair marvy people they are started a hoedown fisticuffs at dawn with them.

15 minutes later 

My poor tummy it is in laughing aggers! Oh _tres amusante! _The blunder boys were to drunk to fight back properly so basically there were on the ground moaning whereas Masimo was screaming that his hair was dirty. Heres an idea you idiot, go home and wash your hair. They have now all passed out from the amount of alcohol they had. The Barmy' were vair impressed with their selves.

1 minute later

I have thought of a way to vair fill the Blunder Boys with embarrosity using my endless amount of cleverosity. When I told the others they were vair impressed with my cleverosity. We are going to tie them to lampposts and trees, half in their nuddy pants, the boys wanted them to go full nuddy pants for the full embarrosity effect but as I said to them " It sounds like you are on the turn, I do not want to see the Blunder Boys in their nuddy pants as it would be yet another thing to get therapy for in later life. Anyway so we are doing that and writing signs for them to hold saying" I am a vair stupid ugly blunder boy. I am so desperados for a snog, I am vair easy, anyone is welcome!" half of that was my idea and the other half was Dave's idea. See we are vair good together. **I always said that, you owe me an apology for saying I was a fule when I said you were in denial" **Shh brain. Hahaha! I wonder what vair sad person will try something with the Blunder Boys.

10 minutes later

Hahaha! is coming along the road towards where Spotty Norman was tied up, hmm I bet she gets the horn for him. _Sacre bleu!_ she really is flab with glasses on legs these days, its vair sad and horrible to see.

5 Minutes later

Ohmygiddygodspyjamas! read the sign and started snogging the face off Spotty Norman, well technically that is not exactly true when she first went in for it she hit noses with him then she missed his lips completely and ended up her lips sucking his cheeks. Erlack I think she was trying to eat them and like that saying third time lucky she snogged him right on target and he slept all the way through her snogging. Poor Hammy.

10 minutes later

Hahahaha! _Tres amusante. _She has run off crying because when she was having her first snog her snoggee was asleep through all of it. Poor Hammy, she is a vair, vair sad person.

15 minutes later

Ro-Ro has had the most marvy childish type idea ever. She decided The Queen of The Vikings roll down hills to get to their battles, so she has don't a little bit of a relay type race type thing. Us girls had to roll down the hills, go to our horn partners get on their shoulders and have duffing up fisticuffs until there are only two pairs of troth plighted partners left and then they have a who can snog the longest contest. Sounds brillopads to me!

Yes, Yes and Thrice Yes! Everybody has agreed to join in, even the ditherspaz queen Ellen. Hahaha this is going to be vair funny and if I lose I still get to snog Dave whether or not we get to final or not. Yay!

Three, two , one! Go! And off all us girls went like speedy things rolling down a hill. It was vair funny except a leaf decided to take residence in Hotel Georgia's Hair. Vair annoying little guesty. Yes on Dave's shoulders having duffing up fandango with Jas.

2 minutes later

Yes, Yes and Thrice yes! After I knocked down Jas, I got in a roll I knocked Ellen of within a minute and then the other Ace's except Ro-Ro. She is vair strong and fabby at this. Yes I am a finalist which means I get to snog Dave for vair long.

3 minutes later

Dave grinned at me and said: " This is vair in the bag, we are vair snogging geniuses and can snog for vair long!" Ellen said start snogging and we started immediately. Phwoar nip libbling extraordinaire!

1 hour and half hours later

Still snogging Dave the Laugh, still in the competition with Ro-Ro and Sven. This is vair easy, we are so vair going to win this! I don't even know why I want to win coz Ro-Ro didn't say what we get if we win, knowing her it could be a new pair of Viking Horns. That would vair fab as mine are getting a teeny bit worn out. Its hard work being a Viking Queens bestie pallie as she thinks we should wear the horns at all times so people type people can see that we are proud of our Vikingosity. Vair mad, unlike _moi _who is rambling in her head whilst snogging a certain Biscuit. _Merde! _That is a tad loonish. Ah brain shut up! Stop rambling and concentrate on snogging Dave the Nip Libbler King! Phwoaar yummy scrumboes! The rest of the Aces and Barmy's are doing the staring fandango filled with admirosity on our genius snogging. Hahaha! I bet they are vair filled with jealousosity. Sounds fabby to me!

I minute later 

Hmm I think Ro-Ro and Sven are talking whilst snogging, it is vair annoying and putting off. That's probably why they are doing it to put me and Dave off, Hahaha Ro-Ro! I figured out of your supposed vair cleverosity plan! Oh yes I am _le _genius!

10 minutes later

I think Sven and Rosie forgot they were in a snogging competition and they were being watched as they were going a bit more full frontal and started moving backwards while snogging and knocked into me and Dave and by accident our lips came apart after we were flattened by the madosity personified Viking Royals. It probably was a vair clever way of making us lose the competition. Cheeky Viking. Oww! Sven is vair heavy. I hope no one shouts bundle because I may just actually die. As if he read my mind Rollo shouted: "Bundle!" and they all jumped on. Ow.

5 minutes later

Still in our vair painful bundle, I think I may actually die soon. My nunga-nungas are vair squashed. Then being the vair genius I am I kicked their backs and sat up a bit and they all toppled of it was vair funny seeing them tumble off like tumbling off things.

4:25 am 

On way home, cant believe how late it is mutti and vati will have a nervy b in the morning. Oh well I had a great birthday! I am so happy me and Dave have plighted our troths. One by one all the gang left until it was just me, Dave, Ro-Ro, Sven. When I got to my house me and Dave had a vair long number 6 under the pretence of number 3 then when we had stopped he smiled at me and said

"Goodnight gorgeous, I love you"

" Nightey night, I love you too Hornmesiter!" ah I love saying it! He just smiled at me again gave me another quick hug and kiss then went off with Rosie and Sven.

All snugly in my bed 

Hmm all snugly bugly in my bed without Libbs for once, I am so happy I will never get to sleep….zzzzz

8:00 am 

Why in the name of Mutti's vair scary bananas outfits are they doing bursting into my room like bursting in type people?

_Awwwwwwwwwww! So fluffy I love it :D sorry I ended it on a cliffie but I had no other way of leading into next chappys fandangos and they are fun to write. Gee and Dave are together! Oh I lurvee writing Dave and Gee together its so cute! Well I am hoping to update chappy 10 tomorrow but I have another exam tomorrow so may not get round to it but if I can I defo will, I gotta keep all you marvy reviewers happy don't I ? have I told you how much I lurvee you in a non lezzie way? You make me feel vair special and makes me feel like I am not a loon writing a load of wubish for no reason lol. Anyway thank you vair much for your reviews. Keep them coming please :) Wuvv you in a non lezzie way !_


	10. MBG Gave Him a Foot Massage!

A/N I don't own the characters. Louise Rennison :( I only own Dave's mutti, the cinema film cleaner Elvis, Wendy, Lizzie and Cadie and The Receptionist in this chappy

_Sorry this wasn't updated yesterday, had a lot to do for once. Chappy 10! Now I have had serious writers block on this chappy so if it's no good I am vair sorry! Ah I think I have hay fever :( and I feel vair faint, I haven't ate anything all day except from a packed of Hula Hoops, which is vair weird cause normally I would be dying to eat something, not that I am Slim sized but I am not anorexic. Ah I am going to get something to eat so I don't pass out before my dinner. Also this was delayed because i had to see my cousin twice for about 2 hours both times because its his birthday . Review anyways :) you know you wanna ;)_

5 minutes later

Why in the name of Dave's mutti's whale songs are Jas and Tom doing in my room? They are just doing the staring fandango. Stop staring!

"What in the name of Slim's belly dancing chin are you doing in my room, doing the staring fandango at me?"

They still just did the staring fandango at me. _Qu-est le_ point? Why are they looking at me with sympathetiosity? Tom the usual ramble and Vole King suddenly got out of the staring fandango and said:

"Look Gee, something has happened to Dave" Ohmygiddygod. I listened to Tom as he told me when Dave left mine and Sven and Rosie had left, Dave was walking back to his Biscuit Tin when Mark Big Gob and his blunders who had obviously been set free from being tied up jumped on Dave from behind and when Dave tried to get up, he couldn't because his leg was broken and just as Mark Big Gob was about to start attacking him Ro-Ro and Sven who had heard it came over and Sven beat up the Blunders while Rosie helped Dave up and her and Sven walked Dave all the way to hospital. I burst into tears like a bursting into tears type thing. I was so filled with shockosity. I can't breathe properly. I felt Jas give me a hug, but I couldn't stop crying.

10 minutes later

I am walking to the hospital with Jas and Tom. I have calmed down a teeny bit. It could have been more serious, he could of got stabbed or beaten up properly. Oh I could just kill Mark Big Bob. The bloody bastard of the first water! As if he had read my mind there he was with his stupid Blunders. Oh he is so dead. I looked at Jas and Tom, Tom looks as vair angerosity filled as I am, Jas was trying to calm him down but obvs didn't work because he stormed up to Mark Big Bob and punched him vair hard in the face. I went over too, and kicked where it hurt about 10 times. He was keeled over on the floor, while his Blunders looked vair scared of Tom and _moi._ I shouted at him

"That's what you get for being a big gob-ed bastard! How dare you attack Dave? You have broken his leg, you idiot! Just because we tied up your precious Blunders, they deserved it too they shouldn't of got lairy to the Barmy's! Why don't you just die or something Mark? No likes you because you are a vair big gob-ed twat who can't snog!" and then spat on him and walked off. Jas and Tom looked vair impressed, but then Jas went into full vole lecture mode.

"Oh Georgia, you shouldn't of done that, what if he reports you to the police?" and all that stuff and as I told her I would report him for breaking Dave's leg and trying to jump him. Why cant she say something like oh that was vair good Gee? It would make her a vair better bestie pallie, I will forgive her this time because she is worrying about her vair bestest pallie getting into trouble. Sort of sweet really. Ah this walk is long, it must of took Ro-Ro, Sven and Dave vair long to get to the hospital. Aww Dave my little Warrior. Hmm I don't think he will appreciate the little part but live and let live I say. Oh I miss him, I know that sounds vair sad as I only saw him yesterday and I am on my way to see him. This is not how I thought the day after we became a troth exchanged couple would start i.e. for the slight dim pallies that I would be going to hospital to see him because he has a broken leg thanks to a group of idiots. I wonder if his family know. Lizzie would probably try having a leg fight with him or something as she is a vair madosity personified loon, or Cadie would suck on his cast or something vair filled with loonosity. I will call them from the hospital if they are not there or if they don't know.

In hospital 

Bloody stuck up receptionists. She reckons we have to wait until he gets out of the doctors. So I picked up a magazine and threw it at her but she ducked it like a ducking thing and it missed her. Then she said If I carried on, I would be chucked out by security like a chucked out thing. Bloody bitch.

5 minutes 

I am vair, vair bored. These magazines are vair _enneyeux; _they are all for Jas type people so of course Jazzy Spazzy and Tom are vair interested in them so I am a goosegogs. Yes! Ro-Ro and Sven are here! Ro-Ro came over and gave me a hug then look at me with a look full of confusedosity

"Why in the name of the Pants King, are you doing in the waiting room and not in with Dave while he gets his legs bandaged up?" Even this early in a morning she still makes me laugh with her creativosity.

"The bitch of the receptionist said I cant see him until he comes out of hospital even after I threw a magazine at her to knock sense into her like the vair caringnosity type person I am." Rosie just looked at me like I was vair full of loonosity.

"So, why did that stop you? She is just the receptionist." Hmm she has got _le _point. I blame it on my brain, its too early for it to think. Rosie went over to the receptionist with Sven with her. Woah! The receptionist looks vair filled with scaredosity; well you can't blame her she is looking at a vair madosity and scary Viking Reindeer King. I couldn't hear exactly what Sven said but whatever he said it worked like a working thing. Yes! Yes! And Thrice Yes! We are off on the camel to see Dave the Warrior!

In with Dave 

When I walked in Dave looked vair happy to see me, he gave me his vair marvy grin that makes me go jelloidosity. I ran up and gave him a big hug, I started crying quietly as he put his arms round me. He held me arms lengths and wiped away my tears.

"Don't cry Kittykat, it's only a broken leg"

"I know, but it could have been a lot worse Dave, you could have been stabbed. I don't wanna lose you."

"Yes but it wasn't so don't think like that Kittykat, you are not going to lose me, I lurvee you and always will, even if I had been stabbed you will never lose me." Aww he is so sweet, he made me feel a teeny weenie bit better. I told him about what me and Tom did to MBG and he had a laughing spaz and nearly fell on his broken leg if it wasn't for my marvy catching he would have been in a vair load of pain. Tom, Jas, Rosie and Sven came in and Dave and Tom were talking for a bit, mostly about how big of bastards the Blunders are. Typico boys.

"Does you family know?"

"Yep, they are coming in a bit Kittykat." Then as if they had a pager type thing his family came rushing in like rushing type things. Tom and Jas looked vair surprised, poor things they hadn't been subjected to his loon family yet. Whereas Rosie and Sven look full of admirosity for them. Admirosity for fellow loons if you ask me and I think you did.

10 minutes later

_Sacre bleu! _His loons are tip top on the loonosity front today. His mutti is vair flustered and smothering him like flustered smothers type people. Also she is trying to get him to listen to her whale and octopus C.D she thinks it will calm him down. He said:

"Mutti, why would listening to an octopus make me calm? Seriously I know two octopuses and they do not make me vair calm. Also why are you trying to smother me? It's only a broken leg that I got because of vair idiots." Lizzie looked vair angerosity filled and said:

"Who in the name of _moi's _marvyness attacked my biscuit of a brother? I thought it was just your vair stupidosity that broke your leg like a broken type leg not a vair stupid idiot. Ooh someone is going to get vair turned into a dead type thing. Oh Georgia, didn't see you there, do you know who the vair dead bastard was that broke the supposed Biscuit's leg is?" The others apart from the rest of Dave's family looked vair filled with shockosity and did the staring fandango at her, but _moi _who is vair used to her vair madosity personified ways said:

"Yes, that vair fule Mark Big Gob, you know the leader of the Blunder Boys?."

"Oh yeah, I vair know that big gobbed twat, he tried snogging me once so I punched him. Hahaha that was vair _tres amusante _to see him vair crying like a crying thing."

Hahaha! Laughing spaz here I come. Yep I was right, I am having a vair gigantibus laughing spaz. The others are staring at me like I am a loon, well everybody except from Dave's mutti who is now listening to the whale and octopus songs and Cadie who as I predicted with vair gigantibus amounts of cleverosity is sucking on his cast.

"Hahaha! He tried snogging me once and I kicked him wear it hurts. I saw him on the way here and Tom punched him and I kicked him where it hurts about 10 times like a kicking where it hurts type person." Hahaha! Now Lizzie is laughing like a laughing loon having a laugh spaz while inhaling laughing gas. Yes! Now everybody is doing the staring fandango at her, then suddenly she stopped and looked vair angerosity filled again. Gadzooks! That girl is vair unpredictable.

"Hmm still isn't enough punishment for the spoon!" and ran out of the door. We all stared at each other wondering what she was going to do. She is vair scary bananas times a vair gigantibus number.

10 minutes later

Hahaha! Lizzie went all the way to find Mark Big Gob and dragged him like a dragger type person to the hospital. When she came in dragging MBG through the door we all looked at her in vair shockosity. Dave looked like he wanted to kill MBG, which he vair probably did want to. Lizzie dragged him to wear Dave's legs are and made him go on his knees.

"Look what you did to my brother, you spoon! And you are going to beg for him to forgive you then you are going a kneel at his feet and do what ever he says or you know what will happen to you." Oh I lurrvee Lizzie, in a non-lezzie type way of course. She is now my idol. Dave had a vair gigantibus grin on his face, which made him look a tad scary bananas but I didn't tell him that in his condition.

1 minute later

Hahahahahahahahahaha! The whole room is in hysterics watching Mark Big Gob crying and apologising to Dave. Oh I love these vair embarrosity filled moments for Mark Big Gob.

3 minutes later

Hahahaha! Dave is making MBG give him a foot massage. Oh _tres tres amusante. _He is a vair comedy genius.

Walking with Dave and others

The doctor type person finally said Dave could go home. So we are doing pretendy limping with him, well not so pretending for him but you get what I mean, well you should. On our way to the park, we saw Lizzie chasing Mark Big Gob with a gigantibus blow up hammer. What is it with the Laugh family and inflatable things? They have a vair freaky deaky obsession with them but it does provide vair fabby comedy opportunities. Well they are the Laugh family. Hmm I just thought of vair geniusosity filled idea! I got Dave's phone off him and started videoing Lizzie chasing MBG. This is will be vair marvy to put on YouTube. The whole neighbourhood will see the "hard Blunder Boy" being scared bananas by a girl. _Tres amusante. _

Home

Had to leave Dave with his loonosity family, although we did have a vair marvy good bye snog. We slightly forgot his family where there until Lizzie was going Ooooh! Vair beetrootosity! Mutti and Vati went ballisticisimus when I am came in but being the vair calmosity filled person I am, I told them why I went out without them knowing and they just did their goldfish expressions which I tell you are vair not attractive. I had to get away from them before their goldfish expressions made me throw up like a throwing up type person.

Bed 

Vair bored. Even Libby's not here to annoy me. I think I will have to listen to mine and Dave's song, and for the vair dim minxes it is Love Story by Taylor Swift. I am vair, vair sad.

12:00 am

Yay! Dave just called me to say he would knock for me in the morning to limp me to school! Although this means I have got to get up earlier to be a Sex Kitty by the time Dave comes and I don't know what time that is. It's sort of a s'laters fandango, when you don't know if when you will actually see them.

Monday – 6:00 

Ah! Getting up at this vair early hour has left me with vair big bags under my eyes. Ho hums pig bum. This is what I get for making an effort to look like a Sex Kitty for my horn partner. That sounds so marvy to say!

7:40 

Natural makeup done in an hour and 40 minutes vair marvy of myself I do say so and I do. Hmm a jammy dodger and a cup of tea, vair nutritious breakfast. Not. My mutti didn't even do her mutti duties and make it for me because she is a vair lazy minx who is still in bed. Another thing to add to my list off things I will need therapy for.

1 minute later

Ho hum pigs bum. Libby has put on of my bestie tops on Angus and ripped it. Vair annoying as I rarely get spondulicks for tops so it will take vair long to replace it. Oh what a vair horrible bunch of parental loons I have.

8:10 

Yes! Yes! And Thrice Yes! Three guesses what me and Dave the Biscuit are doing. Let me give you and hint for those slightly dim minxes its starts with s and ends with nogging. I lurvee that Dave is my horn partner.

5 minutes later 

Ohmygiddygod! I just remembered today is the day when the stuff at school that we did will be discovered. Yes! This should be vair amusante day.

10 minutes later

Jas did the staring fandango at us as we walked up to her holding hands. Then the Vole King i.e. Tom for the vair dim, came up and she started snogging his face off. Erlack!

At the gate at school 

Me and Dave were saying a vair long goodbye i.e. snogging, hahaha I got vair jealous looks from some of the girls! Muahahaha!

"Georgia Nicolson and your friends, get over here! You are in big trouble!"

_Merde! _

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………_._

_Pheww finally finished! It was my cousins birthday today so I saw him twice today and I have been moving more stuff into my sisters room which has exhausted me! And if you read my above authors note you will see that I thought I was gonna faint with hunger, well to let you know I didn't because I snacked loads and now I cant eat all my dinner. Ho hums pigs bum. May not be an update tomorrow as I am about my dads until 8 and may not get up in time to write the next chappy before I go. Reviews would be marvy! Wuvv you in a non lezzie way :D xx_


	11. Sparkle Attack on The Biscuit!

_A/N I don't own the characters. Louise Rennison :( Oh how i wish i did. Dave all to myself :) Ah that would be vair heavenosity. _

_ I only own Dave's mutti, the cinema film cleaner Elvis, Wendy, Lizzie and Cadie and the Receptionist in last chappy. Hahaha! Btw Wendy probably wont be mentioned again, unless its just a school moment._

_Wow! Chappy 11 and its only been over a week since I started this story :) ah I do lurrvee writing this story :D. This update took vair longer than I thought. _

_If updates get a bit on the slow side I am vair sorry, in the middle of changing rooms and at the moment I am sharing room with my sister so I can't write as long as I would like to as she kicks me out of the room sometimes or she sits looking over my shoulder and vair annoys me. Also major writers block again! Probs because I was going to wait longer for Gee and Dave to be together but it would of dragged out too long like that. So i dont really know when the next update will be as i am doing a few of songs for the soundtrack in between updates as they dont take to long. This is a bit weak as I can't figure out the remaining chappies except the last one. :( Ho hum pigs bum. Btw dunoo when next update will be, there may be one of my other fanfic before this one but i promise i will try and make the next update as quick as possible. Yay my exams are finally out of the way! until 2 weeks when i have end of year ones :( ah teachers are so vvair mean._

5 minutes later

_Merde! _What have we done now? I looked at the others and they looked as vair surprised as me. I looked at Dave and he just shrugged and whispered good luck and s'laters and gave me a quick kiss and went. Oh man, that boy makes me go vair happy. Don't go into Biscuit Land brain! We need to concentrate on why Hawkeye is going to have us hung. We went over there all trying out vair bestie innocent expressions which I have to say Ellen's looks a vair teeny bit scary bananas. She looked vair angerosity filled so I thought I would be vair kindosity filled to the situation and not try my marvy humour that the sadists are too vair dim or old to understand. Seriously those old fuddy duddys need to lighten up, what is _le _point of spending your life worrying about how students wear their uniform.

"Firstly, Miss Nicolson 2 bad conduct marks for acting like a prostitute at the school gates." Ah. She really needs to be cut up and eaten. I mean seriously no-one could eat her whole, shes vair too big plus i bet her hawkeye eyes would be vair disgusting but I mean seriously it would stop all the hunger in the world, and the sadists say I am vair selfish, hmph they obviously do not see caringosity when they see it. I was so tempted to say what I did last time she called me a prostitute but I didn't because I had already got my revenge on that. _Merde! _I hope that's not what it's about, but there is no proof it was us. Phew. Now brain, lets listen to Hawkeye ramble on.

10 minutes later

She was going on for squillions of years before she told us to follow her. I was looking at the rest of Ace Gang and as usual they looked as confused as two agogs except from Rosie who vair surprisingly looked as if she had just realised what we are getting in trouble for. Hmm Rosie being the first one hit with the geniusosity, how vair strange. Maybe it will hit me in a minute and know I don't actually mean I want something to hit me like a hitting thing I mean I might work out why we are vair rudely getting in trouble with Hawkeye. For the Lurrvee of Lord Sandra's makeup you minxes are vair hard work. Ellen just looked vair and _tres _scary shocked, its vair not attractive but as i am a vair nicosity type person i didnt tell her she locked like a shocked agog loon champion.

1 minute later

It just hit me! And like I said before no a hitting type thing did not hit me. It means I figured it out. It was as we were passing Hawkeyes portrait when it hit me. The stuff we did to school! They must of somehow found out it was us. I looked at the others and I could tell they were thinking the same as me. Oh marvy, detentions here we go.

Inside sadists classroom

We was right. Arnt we always? Hawkeye is going vair mad. But how does she know it was us? I looked at Rosie who was looking a vair bit sheepish and no you fules she didn't look woolly although you never know where she keeps her beard. Then I saw the message someone who I am now guessing Rosie left, which said:

"This marvyness is thanks to.." then all the Aces and Barmy's names. I whispered to her while Hawkeye was rambling on about us being a disgrace. "Why in the name of Dave's biscuitosity did you write our names on the wall?" Vair dim.

"Well I was proud of it and thought it was a good idea at the time, guess it wasn't" Still looking sheepish. I just rolled my eyes at her and no I didn't take out my eyeball (erlack!) and roll it towards her. So she rolled hers back so I raised my eyebrows so she raised hers even higher and then I flicked her and started the Great Flicking War. We still bring in the light of creativosity and amusingosity in times of sadist torture. Oh what larks!

5 minutes later 

Hahahaha! _Tres amusante! _Well not to Hawkeye. When she was finally able to stop listening to her own voice and notice me and Rosie she startled us so much we ended up knocking over a whole lot more stuff so Hawkeye went even more filled with angerosity which I didn't know was possible. Me and the Ace Gang were fighting the Laughing Spaz's that were coming over us.

Break

Ohmygiddygod! We have got a week of detentions, including the Barmy Army who will have to do today's detention with us after rehearsals and we have to help Elvis for that week at break and lunch. Vair harsh. Also during lunch today we have to clear up all the chaos we made. _Merde! _We are all vair quietosity so down. I decided to be a vair marvy light in this troubled time by doing "lets go down to the disco". Vair caringosity filled if you ask me and you did. But of course Jas, being a vair moody pants went number 10 (erlack, not like that) on the f.t. scale i.e. ballisticisimus at _moi._

"This is the sort of immaturity that got us into this Georgia! You couldn't just leave it when Hawkeye humiliated you could you? This is your entire fault! "We are just did the staring fandango at her.

5 minutes later

For the love of Libby's toys, she is so _tres _violent all I did was push her off the knicker toaster and she kicked me in the shin. Good grief and lack a day.

German 

Jazzy is still _ignorez-vousing moi_, vair rudely if you ask me. We are all snugly bugly like a snugly bugly snuggle thing snuggled up at the back. Hmm I might fall asleep….zzzz… Ahhh! Rosie just licked her finger and put it in my ear. I gave her vair evils but as usual she looked vair unfazed. Typico.

"Oi Gee, because you were vair rudey to fall asleep like a sleeping thing you didn't hear Radio Jas saying about another Stiff Dylans gig!"

"Brillopads, mine and Dave's first outing as official troth exchangees!" They all looked at me like I was a vair marvy loon. _Sacre bleu! _What now?

"What?"

"Calling Georgia to come back from Loon Land, Masimo will be there as he is apart of Stiff Dylans" Hmm hadn't really thought about that.

"So? He knows I am with Dave now" They just did the staring fandango at me so I put in Dave's headphone and IPod on that Dave had lent me. I lurrrveee listening to music and blocking them out like a blocker out type person. Hahaha! I feel vair coolio.

Lunch 

Ho hum pigs bum and _merde!_ Me and the Ace Gang are being made to tidy up all the crap we left. Jas is getting vair into it and moaning at us if we are treading on things she is trying to get rid of. Vair sad. Why in the name of Slims pantaloons cities couldn't they get us to do this when we have detention with the Barmy's? Vair cruel if you ask me.

Rehearsals 

Yay! Dave will be here in a moment. I am so vair in lurrvee with him, I get excited to see him.

5 minutes later

All the girls are crammed round the mirrors in the tarts wardrobe but _moi _be vair cleverosity used my compact instead so no-one ruined my hair with all the pushing. They are all putting on vair gigantibus amounts of makeup, whereas I have only put on eyeliner, 3 coats of mascara, eye shadow, lippy, lip gloss, foundation, toner, blusher for that natural rolled out of bed look. Vair geniusosity if you ask me and I know you did. Oh what is taking the boys so long?

1 minute later

Boys are being lectured by Hawkeye. _Merde! _She must be telling them about the punishments and other type stuff. Dave looked a bit like Dave the un-Laugh, but he caught my eye and grinned at me. Phwoar! That grin has amazing super type powers like making me go vair jelloid. I think he noticed this, and grinned even more. Cor luck a duck!

10 minutes later

Miss Wilson is trying to calm down the vair loons that are Foxwoods and Stalag 14 combined. Bless her. Its _tres amusante,_ watching her run around, her madosity bob flying around. Me and Dave were just in the corner doing our usual, and for those vair dim minxes, it starts with s and ends in nogging. He is vair, vair, and vair good at this snogging fandango.

After rehearsals 

Ho hum pigs bum. Me, Dave and rest of the Barmy Ace Gang are doing litter duty. Litter duty. This means we get to walk round the whole school, on our own, with no teachers. Vair stupid torture to give. Vair marvy for me though, me and Dave are just mucking around being the vair cool type people we are. Jas and Tom are the only ones vair sad enough to actually do the litter picking. Vair teachers pet or what? Hahaha! Sven has just started doing his vair _amusante _dancing in front of Elvis's hut. Shame he wasn't in there really.

Walking home

All the Aces were talking about what they were going to wear to the gig and if sparkly makeup should be worn. In my vair marvy opinion we should wear glitter makeup, it could become our trademark look. Marvy! All the Aces agree! Vair cleverosity thanks to _moi_!

One by one everyone said s'laters until it was just me and Dave. Ah this is vair better. We are just walking holding hands when I noticed him staring at me. Ah its vair freaky deaky, I hate the staring fandango.

"What?"

"Nothing, don't worry" Hmm vair Dave the un-laugh. He noticed I looked _tres _worried so he grinned and said: "I was just looking vair admiringosity filled at you, you are vair beautiful. " Aww and Yay! Dave the Laugh is back! Then started marvy snogging me

Tuesday 

Hmm didn't see Dave today. Hope he is not ill. I might get aswell as we have been vair snogging a lot lately. Ho hum pigs bum.

Wednesday 

Vair _enneyeux _day, 2 detentions and they were vair boring. Then I got another one from Hawkeye when she caught me doing the cowboy hoedown inferno dance behind her back. Ho hum pigs bum.

Thursday

Saw Dave today finally, he said he had been ill. Marvy that means I am vair likely to get it, especially as he was snogging me while saying it. Yay gig tomorrow! _Merde! _With our detention, I will have vair less time to get ready.

Friday

Yay! Gig time, mine and Dave's first outing as proper horn type partners! It is going to be vair fabby as I wont have to worry about my redbottomosity wandering off and getting _moi _into vair trouble. Although Masimo will be there so that may ruin the mood but handbags don't generally get into the way or be redbottomosity filled.

1 minute later

Hmm outfit. I am thinking my vair marvy black and purple dress with waist belt, leggings and vair fabby black heels. Hmm I look like a Sex Kitty of the first water and I haven't even done my makeup yet.

1 minute later 

Sparkly mascara or normal?.. Hmm.. Sparkly!

1 minute later

Normal!

1 minute later

Sparkly!

1 minute later

Normal! And that is final.

1 minute later

I have vair maximum entracability wearing my black with glitter on the ends boy entrancers. See using my vair cleverosity I compromised and used boy entrancers so I could do both and do vair fabby sticky eyes with Dave. I know we are official troth partners now but you know keep the romance alive and all that. I even impress myself with my vair cleverosity.

At the gig

Woah! Its vair crazyaroonie in here, everybody's going mad for the Stiff Dylans song Ultraviolet. I lurrvee that song, I may have to do a tad bit of persuading to Dave to put it on his IPod that I will borrow, and yes it will probably include vair heavy snogging but what's wrong in that? And for those Jazzy Spazzy type people out there I know you are thinking I am a promiscuous tart but I am not because we are horn partners.

10 minutes later

Yes! Doing some vair marvy dancing with Dave the Biscuit or raving as he says but he is _le _loon. Hahaha! Masimo looks vair pissed off, hahaha so I pulled Dave in for a snog. Hmm yummy scrumboes! Nip libbling attack again, vair heaven. Nip libbling can attack anytime they want, well as long as it is Dave leading the attack of course, I am not _le _tart. Hahaha Dave just said: " Ah you have started a Sparkle Attack on The Biscuit!" Hahahaha! _tres amusante! _

5 minutes later

Hahaha! The Ace Barmy gang rides again! We did our world known cowboy hoedown inferno dance, and everyone started joining in! It was vair funny watching people yell " i have the howdy horn!" Masimo looked like he wanted to throw something at me, Robbie was also there but he was vair trying not to laugh, i think he is vair to used to our loonosity. Shame he doesnt have enough brains to not date Octopus. There is allways something that keeps from purfection, well except me and Dave of course because we are Jacqueline and Jack the Biscuits! Hahah vair cleverosity! Oh i am vair genius. Hahaha i also just realised i am vair clever to ramble and still do brillopad dancing at the same times. Jeez i am vair amazing! i think Dave agreed with me as he snogged me full frontal in front of everyone! Phwoar and yummy scrumboes!

20 minutes later 

Bloody bitch of the first water! Why in the name of cowboy hoedowns did she have to do that?

_Phew! This is vair later than I expected to update and vair not good but please review anyway. This is sort of a filler really as I have vair loads amount of writers block. I reckon there may be another 4 maybe 5 chappies of this story then I will start on my next one which I will tell you about in an authors note at end of story. :) hope you liked this anyway, Wuvv you in a non-lezzie way. Btw just to let you know i dont know when next update will be possible it may be vair vair vair vair slow so if it is i am vair sorry. Please review :) You know you want to ;)_


	12. Attacked By A Marsupial and Handbag!

_A/N I don't own the characters. Louise Rennison :( Oh how I wish I did. Dave all to myself :) Ah that would be vair heavenosity. _

_I only own Dave's mutti, the cinema film cleaner Elvis, Wendy, Lizzie and Cadie and the Receptionist in last chappy. Hahaha! Wendy may get a mention in this, don't know yet. Still got my writers block :( so this may be rubbish or the next update will take for Agees. Also I got sidetracked watching" the hills and Britain's got talent" (: Ooooh and also I got all snugly in my bed covers which distracted me from writing :D I have a vair bad feeling my updates may get a tad on the slow side so I am vair sorry. Btw I am thinking this might be about 12-14 chappies long then maybe a sequel but I am not sure as I have covered quite a lot of my original idea for this story but I have a few extra ideas so you never know If you want a sequel let me know :). Anyways I am going to be a cheeky minx and ask for reviews as always (: I just like to know if the stuff I write is liked lol but not everyone has time for reviewing so understand that. Thanks to the people who have reviewed so far which are: __**Earth Kid Tree Hugger, xcoffesionsandtwilightismex, .forevr. .mine. and Clumsy Clara**__. Special mention to Earth Kid Tree Hugger who has given me inspiration for some chappies and has let me ramble a lot to her. Thanks vair much :D Btw got a new fanfic so check it out please :) its called "Ohmygiddygod! Pants and pantaloons? No way!" Reviews would be vair aprreciated ;) Lurvee you in a non lezzie way :)_

1 minute later

I actually vair can't believe she just did that. What a prize bitch! I am so full of angerosity. I cant believe her. She is _tres _pathetico. Ah I am so vair mad. I looked at Dave and I could tell he was vair angerosity filled so I slipped my hand in his. He is shaking like a Chihuahua out of angerosity.

1 minute later

Emma had finally come through with her threat to spread rumours about me and Dave. She just announced to the whole club that me and Dave number 10'ed. How bloody dare her! The whole club was having a staring fandango at us, The Barmy's all said to Dave, "get in there mate!" which everyone started laughing like loons at. Me and Dave just stood there, a mix between beetrootosity and angerosity. I was vair filled with gigantibus amounts of angerosity. Angerosity soldiers were storming to my brain to give it a message that instant messaged my lips to say:

"You bloody bitch! What is your problem? Why do you have to make up stupidosity filled rumours about me and Dave? You are so _tres _pathetico, you and Dave are over. Get over it. I don't care if you still lurvee Dave, don't make up rumours about us to embarrosity fill us. If you still Lurrvee Dave then why try and make him hate you. He does, hate you that is. You are so pathetic Emma, you only said that because you saw we were on msn together late at night, and Dave told you I was just round and the time got away from us and I slept on the couch anyway so get over it. You're so sad; your life depends on embarrassing and hating me. Get a life."

"Don't talk to me about being pathetic, you're the one that can't keep her redbottomosity in control, everybody knows you will jump for a snog because your are a slag" Ah she vair is going to be eaten. Everybody was doing that looking at Dave, looking at Georgia type fandango.

"Emma, you know nothing about me so vair keep your mouth shut. And you only started to not like me when you got dumped by Dave then he asked me out. Aww is ickle Emma upset because she got dumped?" Hahahaha vair marvy brain! Aww you may make me vair proud of you. Everybody started laughing like loons at Emma. She looked vair beetrootosity and angerosity filled.

"Yeah I may have of been dumped by Dave but least I am not a cheater like you. I have seen you cheating on Robbie and Masimo with Dave. So he probably cheated on me, Rachael and Ellen. You are a slag who can't control herself so how am I pathetic?

" That bitch! Robbie and Masimo were both there and heard every word. They were both looking at me vair angerosity wise. _Merde!_ I can't believe her. Angerosity took over me and I slapped her. Vair hard wise. You could hear it vair loud it rang liking a ringing thing ringing. We started big fisticuffs. She is vair weak I can tell you and I know you wanted to know. I got in some vair marvy punches and also I ripped a bit of her hair out. Muhahahaha! We got pulled apart by the bouncers and she had a big lump of hair missing. Hahaha _tres amusante. _

1 minute later

_Merde! _Everybody is doing the staring fandango at me. Stop being staring fules! Dave took me outside, well actually he dragged me. Welcome back Dave the Dragger type Dragger of People Called Kittykat. He looked at me for about 10 seconds before having a laughing spaz, I will use all my pridosity and girdey loins not to join in.

10 minutes later

Me and Dave have only just finished our vair long laughing spazaroonie. After he stopped spluttering like the vair fule he is, he looked at me and said

"That was vair good on the tip top embarrosity front Kittykat. I still can't believe she did that. She is _tres pathetico. _Cant blame her for being jealous of you for being with me though as I am the marvy Jack the Biscuit." Cheeky cat.

"Hahaha I know I am vair cleverosity personified." Then I was vair cut of by Ellen the ditherspaz queen.

"Erm...Gee can I erm or… talk to you or erm something?" Ho hum pigs bum. I forgot she was here, which means she knows Dave cheated on her with me. _Merde! _

5 minutes later

Phew! That wasn't as vair bad as I thought. Ellen goes to me:

"Erm Gee..did you erm snog erm Dave or something.. when I was..erm..going out with him or something?" And being the vair honest type person I am I said:

"Yes I am vair sorry."

"Oh..erm..okay." then dithered off. She is so vair in lurrvee with Dec she didn't even care. I must remember to send Dec a thank you card, he just saved my bacon-ish. Dave just looked at me. Then I noticed Robbie and Masimo coming towards us. Uh-oh! Hmm my vair fule of a brain is telling me to run, I may just have to listen to it for once. I dragged Dave away but in a non Dave way he stopped me.

"Why are you stopping? We are about to be attacked by a Marsupial and Handbag!"

"Kittykat, you might as well face them now otherwise they will be stalking you like stalking things and I don't want my girley friend stalked by a handbag and marsupial." Then they caught up with us. _Merde!_

"Georgia, have you erm how you say snogged Dave behind my back?" Ah you know things are bad when Masimo almost makes sense.

"Yes, I have. I am sorry." Masimo just looked at me then said:

"Lindsay was right. You are an erm tart." He looked like he wanted to hit me with his handbag. Then Robbie looked at me and sighed.

" I always knew you and Dave would be good together. Just my luck I suggested him really, I should have known you wouldn't be able to resist him." Ohmygiddygod! He wasn't mad at me. Woah! He is vair maturosity filled. He just looked at me and Dave who were holding hands and walked away. Thank you Baby J, for once you are filled with vair caringosity for _moi_.

5 minutes later

Cor, luck a duck! Hahaha! Oh how vair funnyosity! Masimo just hit Dave with his handbag, walked away and started snogging a bloke that came up to him. Vair erlack a pongoes! But vair funny that he hit Dave with his handbag. Dave was just staring at me like I was a loon. Which I am vair not of coursey.

"Kittykat, how can you laugh at your Biscuits pain?"

"Dave, he hit you with his handbag!" Dave looked at me then joined in with my laugh spaz.

Home 

Vair weird night. Started of vair marvy then stupid old Emma had to ruin it. Hahaha she is a bit baldy. Hahaha maybe she should become Uncle Eddie's partner in his baldy-o-gram act. Emma and Eddie the baldy-o-grams! Erlack! Emma and Uncle Eddie get out my head. That is vair weird porn that out of my cleverosity I can't even think of a name for. That just shows how vair sicko it is. Erlack! I need to cleanse myself with Holy Water to get rid of this porn.

Sitting on my floor

I have vair selfishosity sister, Bibs has kicked me out of my own bed. I mean it vair literally, she kicked me and she has vair hard kick for a 5 year old. Her and her fwiends are having their own little party. Vair rudeosity. When I tried to tell her this she threw Gordy at me. Gott in himmel and sacre bleu! I am abused by a cross eyed cat and toddly type torturer. I should sell my story to a magazine, then modelling agencies would see my vair Sex Kitty-ness and I would have vair gigantibus amounts of money from modelling and from my sympathethicers and then me and Dave would vair fabby and gorgey celeb couple. Hmm but then Libby and Cross-eyed Gorgy might get famous as well. Ho hums pigs bum. This is the type of selfishosity world we live in. Ah I miss Dave already, I am vair luurvved up. I can't believe Robbie didn't go vair ballisticisimus at me, he was vair calm and just seemed a teeny weeny bit sad. Bless him, he is on the rack of lurvee after being dumped by Lindsay. Hmm well if she finds out about Masimo snogging that bloke, he will be Octopuses next victim. God bless him. Ah I have been thinking about the Marsupial for vair too long. Get out! Get out! Ah my poor brain, it is getting vair attacked.

1 minute later

Ah I swear Dave is Mystic Matt or he has been ear wigging my brain. He has just called:

"Bonsoir Kittykat! It is your vair marvy and gorgey gravy Biscuit"

"Bonjour marvy and gorgey gravy monsieur Biscuit!"

"Ah I lurrvee that you can let your nunga-nungas run wild and free (oo-er) and admit about your obsession with the Biscuit" Cheeky cat. I went to biff him but then I realised I was talking to him on the phone so I couldn't. Shame really.

"Biscuit, shut up. Now did you disturb my beauty regime for a reason? Or did you just need to here your vair gorgey and yummy scrumboes girley type friend Kittykat's voice?" Hahaha vair cleverosity!

"Oh both of course Sex Kitty. I was thinking do you want to go on our first date tomorrow?" Ohmygiddygod! Our first proper date minus the red herring fandango.

"Of coursey I would"

"Brillopads! Il come to yours about 6:00. S'laters Kittykat, I love you." Awwwww!

"Okey dokey I love you too Captain Laugher Pants!" Then hung up before he said anything else. Aww I lurvee that we say I lurvee you to each other! Makes me vair get lurving hysterics.

1 minute later

Gadzooks! I just realised. I have less than a day to decide what to wear! Ah this is going to take all my intellectualosity and quickosity like a quicker than flash type quick thing. If you know what I mean and I think you do. Hmm I have the vair most gigantibus wardrobe in the history of wardrobes and no for you vair dim minxes I don't mean the actual wardrobe, I mean the amount of clothes I have. _Sacre bleu _you people are vair hard work. This is vair bad example of the type of world we live in. Gadzooks why in the name of the Biscuit Tin am I the only vair norma normal person in this world? I am vair the normalist in this house at the least. Libby has finally got out of my bed and put on vati's smalls and clothes and put cat food in her hair. Vair weird. Mutti and vati are "grooving" to the Stone Age music and jumping like elephants. Especially mutti's nunga-nungas, some poor people in the street might think there is an earthquake happening. Vair unfair for people. She really should get surgery for removing her shelf. Its vair embarrosity for _moi._

12:00 am 

I am never going to be able to sleep now, I am vair too excited for mine and Dave's date tomorrow…zzzzzzzzz.. Ah Libbs is back with her fwiends. Erlack! She is still wearing vati's under crackers! Erlack a pongoes! I can't sleep that close to them. Ah more things to add to my therapy list. I really need to become a backup dancer or model so I have vair loads of money or Dave could make all the money by being a vair _tres amusante _comedian. Or both of us could be rich as then we would be double rich. Hahaha of yes, I am vair cleverosity. Ah I am never going to be able to sleep now with all this money in my Mystic Meg head and vati's under crackers so near me. Erlack!....zzzzzzzzzzzz

7:00am

Up vair bright and early to be on tip top Sex Kitty front. Hmm a Sex Kitty should eat to keep up her energy for my vair long beauty regime. I am a vair mistreated marvy daughter. Its bad enough I don't have a mutti who does proper mutti duties so I have to make my own breaky then we don't have proper breaky like toast or cereal like normal caringosity family we only have stale bread and jammy dodgers. Vair marvy breaky. Hmm maybe I can find a packet of Midget Gems for the nutritious value.

7:15 am

I am vair nutritious-fied since I found the Midget Gems, I am filled with excitedosity for mine and Dave's date. Ah I vair cant wait.

1 minute later

It just occurred to me like an occurring thing that Dave didn't say what we would be doing like if we were going cinema or dinner or something. Ah sounded a touch like Ellen with the or something. Ah Ellen you fule of a ditherspaz get out of my head there's not enough room for you in my vair ramble filled brain! Gadzooks! My brain cant be left in peace from even Ellen. Vair badosity times.

12:00pm 

Ah I accidently got sidetracked to starting my beauty regime by watching Twilight, its vair good I ended up watching it twice its vair marvy and fabby. Now I only have 6 hours to make myself into a Sex Kitty. Ah why in the name of Libbs dirty nappies do you hate me Our Lord Sandra? Okay maybe I did leave you to be tortured by my vair madosity personified toddly type sister but I couldn't do anything about me. You cant hate me for that can you? Ah you obvs can, I am vair sorry.

1:00 pm

Doing vair well for my limited time, I have had my bath already. I am about to put on a face mask and dry my hair. I am going to look vair fabbity fab.

4:00pm 

Face mask: Check

Hair dried: Check

Cleansed, toned and moisturised: Check

Curled hair and hair sprayed it: Check

Make up: Check

Outfit on: In progress

2 minutes later

Hmm I have narrowed my choices down to 3 outfits. Number 1 is a black strapless dress that sort of makes me look like a cat which seeing as I am Kittykat and Sex Kitty would be vair appropriate and black heels. Number 2 is a purple-y blue-ish dress with ruffle effect at bottom, a bit of cleavage and same black heels. Number 3 is a black high wasted skirt with a vair nice bright pink top and with heels. I am going for vair sophis with heels and it also shows my vair Sex Kitty-ness.

5:00 pm

Merde! I still haven't decided on an outfit, I narrowed it down to the black high waisted skirt outfit and the purple dress outfit.

1 minute later

Dress!

1 minute later

Skirt outfit!

1 minute later

Dress!

1 minute later

Skirt outfit!

1 minute later

I am not changing now, I am in the dress and that is it.

1 minute later

In the skirt and that is!

6:00 pm 

Wow! Dave is here exactly on time. Vair unusual for the Pants Meister! When I opened the door his jaw dropped and he did staring fandango at me.

"You look bloody gorgeous babe, that dress is vair yummy scrumboes on you!" Aww he is so cute.

"Not so bad yourself Hornmeister" Vair smooth like a smooth type thing. He did look vair lush though. He was wearing black jeans, a white top and black cardigan and converses. Vair gorgey and groovy gravy.

"Kittykat, I know I am vair gorgey but you don't need to do your goldfish expression although it is vair cute."

"Shh you and tell me what we are doing tonight" he didn't answer but entwined my hand with his and dragged me out of the door. Typico. We were just walking along like two walking along type people. Then Dave said to me

"To answer your question gorgey Sex Kitty, I thought we could take a walk in the park for the first part then do something else that you don't need to know yet."

"Ooh Dave the Mystery Boy." Hahahaha I do make myself laugh with my creativosity. **Some people would call it loonosity. **Shut up brain, I didn't want to know your opinion.

Walking into park 

Just as we were walking into the field near the park, Dave put his hands over my eyes.

"Dave! What in the name of pantibus's undercrackers are you doing?"

"Just you wait and see" And he dragged me with his free hand to somewhere. When we got to where Dave so vair rudey dudey dragged me to, he took his hands off from over my eyes.

1 minute later

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

**Oh my gosh that took vair long to write but it was a page longer than usual in verdana size 9 so like the same as the published version. I hope you like it :) there is either going to be one or two chapters more to this story. I hoped you have lurrveed or just a little liked this story :D I lurvee you all vair much in a non lezzie way :D Also pwease pwease pwease check out my new fanfic. (: **


	13. A Kittykat Eaten By A Biscuit!

**A/N I don't own the characters Louise Rennison does :( You know the only ones I own are the ones I made up :) **

**Chappy 13! Ah 13 is an unlucky number which means this probs be merde or take foreveeeeeeer to write and update. Ho hum pigs bum. I am thinking this story will be 14 or 15 chappies long but I don't know as the ideas I had for this chappy have gone for a walk and are refusing to come back or in normal terms I have writers block again. Bloody writers block can go suck. Its tres annoying. I bet the person who invented it is sitting and cackling evilly about it. Ah sorry for rambling like a loon, right on with the chappy. Reviews maybe? Go on you know you want to ;) Muhahahaha! Ohmygiddygod! I am so excitedosity for the last book! It's out on June the 25****th**** :D yayayayayayay! If you will excuse me I think I might have to jump up and do some vair marvy happy dancing and possibly with a side of lets go down the disco! **

**Ah much better, I can now lay down in my bed without being twitchy :) anyway on with the chappy :) reviews please :) they make me feel vair special :D**

**Also does anyone want as sequel? Review and tell me because I need to know so I can end chappy 14 so there can be a sequel. Ta very much and I lurvee you all in a non lezzie way :) **

1 minute later

Wow! Dave is so sweet, this is vair marvy and amazing. I can't believe he did all this. Aww I am so filled with lurvee towards him at the moment, well even more than usual. I can't stop smiling, I look like a vair smiling loon. It's _tres, tres, tres, tres_ sweet. Aaw he is like a big fluff ball recently, except i dont want to hoover him away. Brain! Shhh! We are on a vair marvy first date with Dave, so pay attention.

1 minute later

There's a massive picnic blanket with lit candles all around, a picnic basket, pillows, a portable stereo which was playing Love Story by Taylor Swift. Our song! Hahaha that's quite funny, Taylor Swift also has a song called "Our Song". Shut up brain! Concentrate. Dave held out his hand so I took it. Yes! Well done hands, you didn't do something stupid like shake it. I am vair nearly proud of you brain, for giving my arms nearly norma normal orders. He did that cheesy fairy tale thing, you know where he bows and the girl curtseys. Me and Dave did that but unlike the people in fairy tales me and Dave started laughing like loons as we were slow dancing. Dave whispered in my ear

"You know this was the first song we danced to as proper horn partners" Aww he remembered! Not only is he Dave the Biscuit/Laugh/Pants King/Hornmeister etc he is Dave the Romantic.

"Of coursey I know, I can't believe you remember"

"Of coursey I do, you are the best thing that ever happened to me" Aww he is so sweet tonight, I decided to reward him for that with a vair long snog. He was vair happy with his reward and rewarded me with nip libbling. Yummy scrumboes! When we stopped I said to Dave:

"You are vair Dave the Romantic tonight Pantsmeister"

"Must be the effect you have on me Kittykat" Aw I can't get over how sweet he is tonight

"Aww Dave, you are so cute"

"Why Kittykat, I am not cute I am sexy beyond words and Dave the biscuit." Hahaha back to Dave the Laugh. Although he is vair right about the sexy beyond words thing, I am using all I have to not go jelloid.

10 minutes later

We decided to lighten up the sappy mood with some of the Ace Gangs famous dances like, "Let's go down the disco", Viking bison disco inferno and the Viking disco hornpipe. Hahaha Dave is vair groovy dancer; he learnt our dances vair quick. We wanted to do the snot disco but neither of us had chuddie. Shame really as Dave had bought a camera and that would be vair funny picture of Dave. Muhahahaha! I think I have first date hysterics.

5 minutes later

Hahahahahahahahahahaha! Dave just added the spy moves him and the Barmy's did when we snuck into school that time into the dancing and fell over. Luckily Baby J lurrvees him, so he landed on the pillows. What a luckie duckie. Hahaha I am vair amusante. I was just standing their having a laughing spaz at him while he just looked at me like I was a loon, which I vair was but still.

"How can you laugh at your poor Sexy Biscuits pain?" Ha yeah sure, pain. He was lying on pillows for the love of transvestite Baby J.

I just looked at him and laughed again.

5 minutes later

Ow bloody ow and aggers! Dave took vair big offence against _moi _laughing at him so being the vair rudey person he is he grabbed my hand and dragged me to the floor so of course being the vair unlucky person I am my knees hit the ground hard and I fell flat on my face leaning over Dave,

"Oo-er" he choked out during his vair gigantibus laughing spaz. I got up and sat down like a vair norma normal. Dave reached over and entwined my hand with his that feels vair natural.

"Oh Kittykat I was so entranced by you I forgot that we actually had food to eat. Let's grub!" Yummy!

10 minutes later

Yummy scrumboes! This food is vair gooooood! I didn't know Dave could cook, hmm that could be good if we get married as I wouldn't have to cook. Marvy!

"Wowsa wow Dave! This is vair good, I didn't know you could cook" he looked a bit sheepish and no you fules he didn't look like a sheep he looked sort of guilty if you get what I mean and I think you do.

"Erm my mutti cooked it. Once you get her away from the whales she is actually a vair good cook but watch out there may be frog eggs or something in it."

"Hahaha bless her, she is vair madosity personified."

"You know Kittykat most people would be vair concerned that the food they are eating might have fish eggs in it, that just shows how vair loonosity you are" Cheeky cat.

"That is vair rude Dave, you will have to be punished"

"Sounds utterly scrumptious babe, now I am thinking for the punishment those Losing the Bet Snogs you owe me,.

"Shh you, the punishee doesn't choose their punishments, the punisher does. But I have to say you are utterly scrumptious so I suppose you can have your wish" and before he could say something I snogged him. Ooh he is vair good at snogging. Phwoar! Lip nibbling extraordinaire.

5 minutes later

Yummy! Ooh he is vair nearly making me jelloid, I have to do something about that or he will be going on about his biscuitosity turning me into jelloidosity vegetable girl. Hmm lets turn the whatsit on him. Heres my plan:

Nip libble him

Kiss his neck and jaw

Ear snog

If that doesn't work, then try everything else.

1 minute later

Yes! Yes! And Thrice Yes! After I started nip libbling him I felt him go a tad weaker so I moved on to kissing his up his neck onto his jaw and he went a tad bit jelloid so I did the ear snog thing but it didn't work so I slipped my hand inside his shirt and he went full on jelloid! Yes! Kittykat is amazing and a tip top snogger! I made Dave the Laugh/Biscuit go jelloid! Oh call the newspapers I could get vair fabby amounts of money for this.

1 minute later

Wow! Dave has managed to un-jelloid himself in a minute, wow I am vair jealous. He decided he was taking control in this snogathon. He turned us over while snogging and gently laid us down with him on top.

2 minutes later

Number 7 and then 8 with Dave! It wasn't pervy it was I dunoo nice. After we finished our snogathon, we both just layed down on the blanket, holding hands and looking at the stars. Dave was having a little laugh to himself, so I looked at him and he pointed up the stars and said

"Look Kittykat, all of those stars together look like a pair of pants." Hahahaha so typico

that Dave would see that. It did make me laugh though.

10 minutes later

Just as I was thinking the stars get vair boring, Dave sat up and reached in the picnic party and got a bottle of champagne. I looked at him, and he just said

"My mutti" ah yes that explains everything. We tried a bit but we both thought it was vair nasty. So we had the bottles of Bacardi Breezer his mutti had packed in. Mmm yummy! I could drink bloody loads of this.

10 minutes later 

We had 2 bottles and left it there as we didn't want to be vair pissed and not remember much about our first date. Aaaw. He is so cute, I won't say that again though or he will go on about his biscuitosity and sexiness. Not that he is wrong but you know what I mean.

15 minutes later 

Why is that freak running towards us? I looked at Dave and he looked just as confusedosity as me. Ho hums pig bum.

1 minute later

The freak who was running has now stopped in front of us, then looked totally confusedosity and said:

"Ciao Miss Georgia, what are you doing with this boy? I thought you were erm going out with Masimo?" I looked at Dave with a look full of scaredosity, who the hell is this freak?

"Erm no I am not going out with Masimo and erm who are you?" Vair polite of me I think.

"_Mi dispiace_ Georgia, I am Roberto, Masimo's brother. I recognise you from the picture he showed me." Ohmygiddygod! I thought he lived in Italy.

"Oh you're that brother who singed to me down the phone with him once, I thought you live in Pizza-a-go-go land or sorry I mean Italy and Masimo is now going out with Lindsay"

"Me and my _familglia_ are over in England for a week"

"Oh right" I looked at Dave, he looked _tres _freaked out.

"Okay, I am going now. Arrivederci." And walked of. Phew that was _tres, tres, tres _awkward. I looked at Dave and he burst out laughing.

"Ohmygiddygod! They are all prats! This just proves my vair cleverosity theory that all Italians are freaky deaky also homosexuals. Did you see his handbag?"

"Hahaha! I did actually and was trying not to laugh. I can't believe they are all here, its like a Italian Handbags attack. And I can't believe I am saying this but I think your theory is actually right. Oh man I cant believe you made me say that."

"Hahaha! Kittykat, you are just in denial of my brilliantosity and cleverosity. "

"Whatever you say Mr Laughy Laugh." And I silenced him with my vair marvy snogging skills. Muahahahhahahahahaha! Oh the love of Dave's mutti's whale songs, I have hysterics again. Stupid Brain here I come!

10 minutes later

Yes! Yes! And Thrice Yes! Kittykat is once again Jelloid Maker Extraordinaire!

"Dave, can you please speak with that thing you use to snog with?" Muhahahaha! Kittykat has the upper whatsit again!

"Nurruuugh"

Muhahahaha! And Yes! Yes! And Thrice Yes! I have given Dave the Stupid Brain. Alert the Newspapers get Radio Jas airline online: Gee Nicolson has give Dave the Laugh Stupid Dave! Wowsa wow, I am vair amazing!

"Hahaha! Yes I gave Dave the Biscuit, Stupid Brain!"

"Shh yourself Kittykat." Damn how did he manage to get rid of his stupid brain so quick. I would lurvee to know how to do that. He must be vair cleverosity. Jealousosity or what?

"How did you get rid your stupid brain as quick as a quick thing in a quick competition?"

"Ahhh Kittykat, a biscuit never gives up his secrets"

"Hmm I think a biscuit would if we were tickled" and then I started up tickly bears with him then snogged him. Haha! Role reversal or what? Muhahaha! I think all the happyosityness of our first date has made me gone lightheaded with hysterics.

"Kittykat, know that is just vair rudey dudey, you know that is the Biscuits game"

"Well looks like you have shared it with your Kittykat"

"A Biscuit never shares his vair cleverosity games, you will have to be punished.

"Oo-er! Sounds bloody gorgey to me. A Kittykat eaten by a Biscuit! " Yummy scrumboes nip libbling and 5 ½ and 5 ¾ . Oh I may actually have to give him a medal for Worlds Best Snogging.

Half hour later

Gadzooks I am out of breathe! Me and Dave finally stopped snogging so we could both actually breathe like norma normal people we arent. But you know, you can always hope. Oh gadzooks! I sound like the pope or a wise Owl. Ah no! Owls get out of my head, you belong in Jas's spaceship which is in Jas Land. So please remove yourself or transport yourself to Jazzy Spazzy's brain. Aaaw. I feel vair sorry for them, imagine having to leave my marvy brain and have to go to that weird Nature Ramble Vole brain. I am so vair filled with caringosity, i amaze myself.

1 hour later

After a lot of snogging, let's go down the discoing and some vair funny conversations we decided to call it a night. No you dim persons type people, we did not call this thingy a night it just means we decided to go home. For the love of Baby J, you people are vair hard work. It was vair nice walking along holding hands, it had been vair fabby first date. Thank God, it wasnt a double date with one of the Ace Gang horn partners. Ohmygiddygod! Imagine a double date with Sven, it would probably be Viking Fish Hunting. We could turn it into a sport and get vair loads of money. Ho hums pig bums, i should defo suggest it to Ro-Ro she will vair love the bonkerosity of it and the awareness for Vikings. Oh i am just so filled of cleverosity i amaze myself really. Brain shut up! You ramble vair too much. **What you going to do? Throw a platypus at me? **No you vair loon now shhhhhhh. **Nope, i am your brain my job is to annoy. **Ho Hums Pigs Bum. **Ah dont you just lurrvee me? **Nope i really dont. **I am vair offended, I am going to annoy you even more now. **Marvy.

1 minute later

When we got to the bit where he goes to his Biscuit Tin and I got to Chez Bonkers, we had a vair long number 3 (Goodnight kiss) with a hint of 6 (tongues). Oh for the lurvee of Our Lord Sandra's frocks pet platypus, that boy always leaves me vair jelloid. Ah now I am walking all aloney on my owney. Ho hums pigs bum.

5 minutes later

I can't believe he just snogged me!

**That took for years! Didn't help that i kept being distracted by reading other fanfictions, ah but you know I lurvee them :D The curse of number 13 has got me as this was vair shorter than my usual and vair harder to write and think of ideas for :( i told you it would get me, ah the person who mad e13 into an unlucky number is vair evily cackling right now. Oh god i think i have finishing chappy hystercis, forgive me for being a loon. :D I hope you liked it anyway, was preety much fluff because I lurvee it. Another cliffy ending, I know you are going to wanna kill me for this but it had to happen :) Ohmygiddygod! I am going to be so sad when this story is over. Waah! Oh well at least there is either one or two chappies left in this. Reviews please :) go on you know you wanna ;) plus its for your benefit, if you want a sequel you need to tell me or if you have any thing you wanna see in any of my stories :D Lurvee you all in a non lezzie way of coursey :) xx**


	14. You Stole My Camel!

**A/N I don't own the characters :( Louise Rennison does. I only own the ones I made up which you know :D Like Lizzie, Lucy Daves Mutti, Cadie, Wendy, Cinema cleaner etc. **

**Sorry for the longer wait on this chappy, I got in the swing of writing Pants and Pantaloons so didn't have time for this :( I am thinking this may be the final chapter but I don't know yet I also haven't decided if I am doing a sequel, if I do it will be after finishing Pants and Pantaloons as the updates would be vair slow for that. I guess I will decide as I write this. **

**I just remembered the bloody teachers have set our exams for next week :( so updates will be slow I am afraid if this is still going or on Pants and Pantaloons. :( **

**On with the chappy I don't know all of what's going to happen in this yet but hope you like it anyways :) I have a feeling it may have a lot of aggers in this. **

1 minute later

I am going to kill to him. I am not eating him though as I have had enough of Italian Cakeys.

10 seconds later

For those who are vair confuzzled I will say it in vair simple terms that are verging on even Libbs understanding or even vati : Masimo's brother Roberto just snogged me. Ohmygiddygod, now my lips need to be cleansed, I am not burning them as I have vair useful needs for them, i.e. snogging and rambling. Why does this always happen to me? And for those Jazzy Spazzy type people thinking "Georgia is a promiscuous tart" I didn't snog him back so hahaha go eat your knickers!

1 minute later

After Roberto stop snogging me he laughed and went skipping off singing "O'macdonald". Vair loon, but I did notice with my super duper night vision that he was carrying a beer can. Okay so it may be a tad more right to say I felt it in my back than saw it. So out of my cleverosity I am guessing he was drunk. Drunk like a skunk drunk. Even in tragicosity times I still manage to spread creativeosity light to cheer myself up.

1 minute later

Oh _merde! _I can hear footsteps coming towards me. If it's Roberto I won't suppress the urge to kick him where it hurts. Bloody bastard redbottomed Italian of the first waters .

1 minute later

"Roberto if that is you stick yourself on a camel and get away from me"

_Merde! _it's Dave and looks vair Dave the un-Laugh and vair not happyosity.

2 minutes later

Me and Dave are having our usual staring fandango except we are normally not staring at each other like staring fules because one of us had just got snogged. Stupid bloody Roberto. Why in the name of the Herr Kaymer's tartan socks did he have to leave Pasta-a-go-go and come to Merrie old England? Maybe this is God's way of showing his jealousosity, maybe God is a girley so she is jealous of me being horn partners and she decided to make Roberto snog me. That's just vair meanie of her really. Ah shut up brain! Stop rambling while we are waiting to see what happens to our troths. Pwease, pwease don't give me mine back Dave.

"I guess you saw Roberto's snog attack on me" oh great, I choose now to put my wimposity on the camel.

"Oh I saw it Georgia and it looked like you weren't doing anything to stop him." Gott in himmel he called me Georgia, not fabby.

"I didn't snog him back like some vair tart with major gigantibus amounts of redbottomosity would and if you have not noticed his is gigantibus and I was trying to get him off me but he is vair strong"

"Sure Georgia, I should of known this would happen, you have cheated on every one of your horn partners so far, why should the biscuit be any different" he looked vair angerosity filled and I was vair filled with it too.

"You had every part of that Dave, so don't act like that was all me being _le _tart, you know those happened because I could never resist you and I always deep down lurrveed you"

"Oh really? I thought it was because you can't resist a snog" and ran off.

Ah I need to hit something. Why is Dave being like a vair Mr Moody Pants and Meany Pants? He knows I didn't snog him and there was no grounds for that last insult on _moi. _I am totally confuzzled to why he has turned against me. I am his horn partner he is supposed to believe me, he even saw him snog me not me snog him, so what is his problem.

10 minutes later

Well I am going to take the horn by the pants and ride the camel to locate the Pants, lasso him and get this sorted. Ride on Camel, ride on!

**Daves POV**

Ah! Oh god why do you vair hate me? Why is it every time I am happy with a girl you do something to make it all go wrong? Hmm I think out of my vair cleverosity I have figured it out: You're jealous of my biscuitosity and that I am a ladeeez man, you obvs being invisible type person obvs doesn't get a lot of horn partners and because you are vair jealousosity filled against _moi, _you mess about and vair run my horn relationships.

**1 minute later**

Ah why did I say that to her? It wasn't exactly her fault; she was just the snoggee in this. It did look like she just joined in when the twit of the first water pulled away and went singing off like a vair loon. The whole family must be on the wrong side of the handbag if you get what I mean and I think you do and if you don't well you just don't.

**1 minute later**

Oh for the love of Captain Laugher Pants Super Speedy Pants I am vair confuzzled. I know Gee didn't really do much wrong, but it just made me realise that sooner or later she could give into redbottomosity again. Ah brain! Come up with the answer now pwease!

**5 minutes later**

My cleverosity has gone for a walk and hasn't come back yet, even though I gave it a whole vair long five minutes. Vair nice if you ask me and more than enough time for a super cleverosity filled brain like mine to come up with an answer to solve the Biscuit's problem. Maybe if I call they will come if I say it vair niceosity? Let's take the pants by the horn and try.

"Oi gigantibus amounts of cleverosity of Dave the Laugh that vair recently went off on their camel for a walk please use the speed of pants to come back to the Biscuit!" vair nice if you ask me and you so obvs did. Even when I am brimming to the top with niceosity for my cleverosity they still _ignorez-vous_ me with their conks in the air. You know it's bad when parts of your brain go off on their camels and ignorez-vous you.

**1 minute later**

Why do people look at you like you're a fule when you call out to your camel? It is vair normal, they are the loons obviously not _moi. _This just shows you the kind of world we live in. I.e. a Biscuit can't even call his camel without being looked at like he is a fule.

**1 minute later**

Oh bloody marvy. Emma is here, it turns out she has been spying on me like a spying type person for a while, that is verging of stalker or freakosity.

"Well hello big boy, I saw what the slag Georgia did to you" Hmm she is slurring her words like a slurring thing, out of the little cleverosity I had left I guessed she was slightly tipsy. Great. Using my Mystic Matt skills I can tell this is going to end vair badosity.

"Yes, well that's none of your business"

"Oh come on Dave, you know she can't resist a snog, you know I am happy to be a quick rebound snog"

"No Emma, I am not having an accidental snog with you-" and she shut me up by snogging me. Shit! I am not going here again.

**1 minute later**

Still trying to push Emma off the Biscuit, she is vair strong for a girley. Ah my brain is starting to shut off due to the lack of cleverosity, no lips! Do not snog Emma! She is an ex that does not have accidental snog agreement with me! No lips! Ah stuff it, Gee hates me anyway so it will be vair long time until I get another snog….

Back to Georgia POV

Bloody hell, a biscuit can get vair far in ten minutes I expected him to still be at the end of the road but he obvs has a vair fast camel or super speedy pants on like Captain Laugher Pants! Hmm I think I can see him standing near the park, ride speedy as a quicky speedy thing speeding! Time waits for no Camel Police!

1 minute later

Ohmygiddygod! He and Emma are standing there snogging! I can't believe him! He was having a spaz attack at me for being the vair poor victim of a number 5 on the snogging scale attack by an Italian Twat and there he was clearly snogging her back even if he was the snoggee like I was he is snogging her back which I didn't do. Ooh I don't know who I am going to kill and eat first Dave or Emma. Hmm defo Emma me thinks, she is vair painosity in my life that I vair don't need. Oh Davey Boy we are in a right confuzzling fandango.

1 minute later

They are still snogging for all of Merrie England, hmm I think a bit of gentle detangling may be in order here, so I went over and grabbed her hair and pulled it back so they separated. Dave looked vair mixture of emotions, angry and scared where two of them. I looked at Emma and she was giggling like a twerp. What in the name of Pantibus's cheesy puff beard was that all about? Calling cleverosity, tell me why…. Ah she is on the verge of being drunk. She is still a bitch even if she is drunk.

"Emma, go home, lay in a gutter, fight with a tree whatever just go" and the idiot went skipping off. What is it with drunkie people and skipping? Is it like a vair norma normal thing you do while drunk? Vati doesn't do it but come on he isn't normal. So maybe they do but it is still vair twerpish and vair annoyingosity I mean _Ce qui est le_ point?Or for those pallies that arnt as vair expertosity at froggie as I am it means "what is the point".

"Dave, what is going on? First you have a spaz at _moi _for being snogged and not being able to get the snogger off me then you and Emma have a snogathon."

"She snogged me and I tried to push her off but then I gave in"

"Why? Why did you snog her back? Dave we are horn partners, not accidental snoggees"

"I was vair angerosity, the memory of Roberto the Italian Twat snogging you and then when she was snogging me I thought well I have mucked it up with Gee so I snogged her"

I just looked at him, I felt a teeny weeny bit sorry for him, he is vair confuzzled bless his little cotton socks. Ah I am so confuzzled, how in the name of vati's smalls did our first date end up like this? What should we do?

"What should we do?" Ah lips! How many times do I have to tell you never listen to my _le _fule of a brain? You get me in vair bad fandangos.

"I don't know Kittykat, I know I still lurvee you. But maybe we should have a break and see if we give in to redbottomosity and if we don't we know we vair truly lurvee each other and go back to being proper troth exchangees." Ah mixed thoughts here like:

He called me Kittykat which is good

He still lurrvees me

He wants a break

"If that's what you want Dave, then I guessaroonie I will agree."

"It's not that I don't wanna go out with you Kittykat, its just there is vair no point in being troth partners if we are going to give in to redbottomosity and Cosmic Horn."

"Okey dokey, but how does this leave us?"

"Matey type mates again?"

"Okey I guessaroonie we could do that, and by the way how long will this break be for?"

"Are you going to miss my excellent and yummy scrumboes snogging?" Cheeky cat. "I don't know we'll have to see when the camel decides"

"The Biscuit thinks to much of himself, hmm okay. Well I am away laughing on a fast camel so TTFN."

"You word thief! You stole my camel!" _tres amusante _he should defo be a vair funny comedian. I just walked off giving him my half smile with eastern promise. Ah even in times of vair trouble like this Kittykat still knows how to be an Entrancing Sex Kitty. Ho hums pigs bum I once again on the rack of lurvee and in the cake shop of aggers.

Chez Bonkers

Oh for the love of Pantibus's Jammy Dodgers why is it that when I am once again vair tragically put on the rack of lurvee I see Parental Loon Lurvee/Porn. Its vair traumatising in vair norma normal times but now it's just vair depressingosity when your parental loons have more of a lurrvee life then you.

In my bed of confusion

The one time I wouldn't mind Bibs in my bed to have a snuggle with her in my gigantibus amounts of confusedosity and slightly painosity. I am all aloney on my owney, even my vair annoyingosity and loonosity filled parental loons can't be bothered to stop their porn to see their fabby daughter in her time of pain and say stupid things. I can't believe this night ended like this, we were having an amazingosity filled first date and now we are on a break and once again on the rack of lurvee.

1 minute later

It could take squillions of weeks to end this stupid break, I know I am vair gorgey Sex Kitty and all but not loads of boy type people are going to try and snog me are they? I mean they all think I am still horn partners with Dave. Ah I am now a long term resident of The Land Of Confuzzled People Who Are On The Rack Of Lurrveee. Ah I feel a blubathon coming on.

Sunday - 8:00 am 

In the Valley Of Wandering Lonely As a Clud. Well not exactly Angus and Cross Eyed Gordy are in my bed with me not that it is marvy having them there when the furry freaks are bloody playing the mouse game with my feet. Vair painful. Oh my life is vair sad, being victimised by cats.

Monday- 6:30 

Up vair early to dazzle everyone with Sex Kitty looks achieved by natural makeup, I know you are thinking that Georgia is vair amazing to be able to look like a Sex Kitty with natural makeup and I have to say I vair and _tres _agree. I have to shine with glamour so no-one can see that I was not a troth partner anymore, and can't see my painosity.

1 minute later

Hmm how should I do my hair? Down and straightened or up in a ponytail?

1 minute later

Straightened hair!

1 minute later

Ponytail!

1 minute later

Straightened hair!

1 minute later

Ponytail and that is how it is staying!

Kitchen 

Yummy, a jammy dodger and piece of toast for brekkie. Vati even had a ditherspaz about that because it was one of his slices of toast. Vair badosity parenting, he is vair un-caringosity filled, his poor daughter may get scurvy from lack of food in this place and he is complaining about me eating. Every loon to himself I guessaroonie.

Walking to Jas's – 8:15

Got to Jas's vair on time and was greeted with the sight of Jas'n'Tom snogging. Is the whole world horn partnered up? I swear they do it to make me feel goosegog extraordinaire. Its vair rudey dudey.

8:40 

After 25 minutes of Jas'n'Tom rambling on about voles and marsupials between snogging and then they spent at least 10 minutes saying good bye. I could of eaten them or killed them for being so lovie dovie whilst I am on the rack of lurvee. Radio Jas probably already knows mine and Dave's fandango and was doing it to fill me with annoyedosity, ah I think a duffing up session may be delivered to Jas. With a lot of fringe touching and hugs Jas finally turned her attention to me.

"Oh Georgia you are here, come on we are going to be vair late" _Qu-est ce est le_ point?

"I have been here for ages Jazzy Spazzy if you hadn't been too busy discussing the way of the voles with Hunky"

"Shut up Georgia, so what did you do after that fisticuffs with Emma after gig?" and not being in my right state of mind, accidently spilled everything. Marvy. Now it will be on Radio Jas airlines before assembly is over and the whole school should know by break.

5 minutes later

Cor, luck a duck! Jas is actually being vair niceosity towards me, she even put her arm around me until some Foxwood lads came along and she put it down to stop any lesbian rumours. Still in vair shockosity about it.

Assembly 

Slim once again is letting her voice echo in her flab and chin city once again and she drones on in her vair tedious way. Gadzooks and lack-a-day! Could this day get much worse?

1 minute later

To answer my own question, yes it can. We have Rome and Jule rehearsals today with the Foxwood boys which means Dave will be there, that will be _tres _awkward. Marvy.

1 minute later

Ro-Ro has made amazingly amazingosity filled attempts to cheer me up, one I liked vair much was when she sang: "He's got the whole world in his hands" as "He's got the whole world in his PANTS!" made me nearly have a laugh spaz. Also her impression of Wet Lindsay was vair, vair _tres amusante. _Oh I lurrvee Ro-Ro, no you fules in a non-lezzie way of coursey. You silly minxes!

German 

All snugly with the Ace Gang, they are all being vair nicey nice to moi which I vair likey as I get chuddie and midget gems. Yummy scrumboes! And all because of the Dave fandango, I may actually thank him. Nope I won't.

10 minutes later

Ace Gang did Viking Disco Hornpipe to cheer me up, it was vair fabby. They all stopped when Herr Kaymer turned around but seeing as I was vair depressingosity I kept going and when he asked me

"Georgia, vat are you doing?" I replied with vair maturosity

"Well Her Kaymer, I was just showing my enthusiasm for Koch's that I decided to make up a dance about one of their hikes, did you see the looking around bit? See vair genoisity"

5 minutes later

Hahaha! Herr Kaymer gave me a lollypop for showing enthusiasm and for being creative with my work! He really is a silly german fule, but vair good comedy value. The Ace Gang where amazed I had got away with it and were filled with admirosity for moi. Ah fabby!

Rehearsals 

Ah the nerves! Dave and the Foxwood lot will be here in a couple minutes and I am vair anxious about seeing Dave, also as everyone else is horn partnered up me and Dave are usually goosegogs together. Ah Ro-Ro! Sven doesn't go to Foxwoods so he wont be here so fake fur and swords a go go!

1 minute later 

Phew! Me and Davey are fine as matey type mates, I was looking at him as he came in so he winked at me and came over and said:

"Still can't stop eying The Biscuit up in a admirosity can you Kittykat?" cheeky cat.

"Actually I had something in my eye"

"Yeah sureosity Kittykat"

1 minute later

Me and Ro-Ro look vair marvy! We have introduced a teenage werewolf ness to the play and we look vair fabby! Also we have created weapons for werewolf's; Swords with fur on! Me and Ro-Ro were off coursey the testers which was _tres _amusante. Hmm I wonder where Dave is? Last I saw him he was being chased by Spotty Norma because he stole his protractor.

1 minute later

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha! _Tres, tres _amusante! Dave somehow in his endless amounts of loonosity found a camel costume! You know like the one that boy is in, in high school musical one in the theatre? Well If you are vair confuzzled to what I mean then I mean you walk in it and have a lead or something that makes the costume walk. It was vair funny watching Dave dressed as a camel.

1 minute later

Hahaha Kittykat is once again _le comedie _genius again! As Dave was trotting around pretending to be a camel, I decided to jump on his back. Ro-Ro was having a laughing spaz as I sort of rolled off accidently. I got back on and Dave gave me a camel ride and said:

"Ah you can never resist a ride on my camel can you Gee?"

"Of coursey I can, why do you think I did that marvy roll fandango of your camel"

"Oo-er!" and we both had laughing spaz's and stacked it on to Ro-Ro like falling things falling.

"You are both vair attractive people but Dave I am vair horn partnered up and Gee I am sorry but I just don't swing my horn that way." Vair amusante.

Walking home 

Me and Dave are vair goosegogs extraordinaire as our vair selfishosity mateys our doing something that starts with s and ends with nogging. This is the sort of world we live in i.e. when even your bestie pallies ignorez-vous you to snog their horn partners. It was like nothing had really changed with me and the Hornmeister except we didn't snog we were like the matey type mates we were before. Ah how long will this break be? I miss being horn partners with Dave. Stupid Roberto and Emma, ruining everything. Ho hums pig bums.

Tuesday 

_Tres amusante _day! We made up a German inferno dance in honour of Herr Kaymer, I think he vair appreciated and I even thought I saw tears in his eyes. Ah see, even when I am treated vair unfairly I am still filled with caringosity for people.

Ro-Ro managed to do the snot disco over Hawkeye's head without being caught. The whole class burst into applaud like applauding things. Hawkeye being the vair sadosity type person that she is thought it was for her demonstration on some algebra thing.

And what topped it up was Wendy The Copycat Octopus fell in a bin because she was too busy looking in her mirror at her stringy wet weed type extensions and didn't notice the bin in front of her. Oh the aggers my tummy now has from the laughing spaz I got when we saw that were soooooo worth it. It was just vair amazing way to finish school.

Oh marvy and _tres amusante _day! It almost made it worth it to come to school. Almost.

Wednesday 

Two bloody detentions in a day. Both with Hawkeye. Great. Not.

Thursday

Nothing fabby happened today it was vair boring day as Ro-Ro wasn't in to bring the light of amusanteosity and brighten up the day with her creativeosity. Oh Ro-Ro wherefore art thou Ro-Ro? Ah I came over all Billy! For those vair confuzzled by this, I used Billy Shakespeare words. Oh well seeing as Billy has possessed me body I might as well use the Billy-ness and say:

"Forsooth and lack a day, let us grooveth!" Nothing like lets go down the disco to fill you with happyosity.

Friday – 9:00pm 

Its 9:00pm on a Friday night and I am in my bed with my little sister played tea party with pantalizer doll and scuba diving barbie on my nunga-nungas. Vair sadosity life I lead.

12:00 am

How am I supposed to sleep with two dolls on my basoomas and a vair loonosity sister leaning over me? ………..zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Saturday

Walking to the park lonely as a clud on its own. Ah theirs Dave, he saw me a gave me a wink. As I started to walked over to him, Robbie came out in front of me. Cor! He is vair gorgey but no! I don't like marsupial lovers like that anymore.

"Hey Gee, how are you? I have been thinking about you a lot recently and I know this is going to sound really random, but I wondered if maybe you and me could see each other again" Gadzooks!

**Phew! 2 extra pages than usual, this isn't the end there is another chappy which I have a feeling will be vair short. Hope you liked this :) I would ramble on forever but im off on my camel so tatty bye! And please review! Wuv you all in non-lezzie way :)**

**Yay! my cousins have interenet so have been able to update this here! next chapter is the end:( but it may be vair long to the nextt update as i am concentration on writing Pants and Pantaloons :) hope you liked this and thankyou for all the marvy reviews so far!**

**Btw why are all evil little kids so cute? it is so hard to tell them of while babysittying :L**

**xx**


	15. Big Ball of Fluff

**A/N I don't own the characters :( except the ones I made up which you know which ones they are :D**

**Sorry for the long wait on this chappy, I have had loads of things to do recently, I have been working on Sonny with a Chance fanfictions, been babysitting, had exams, been swapping between this and Pants and Pantaloons and laptop wasn't working for a few days :( but anyways here it finally is, I hope you like it :)**

**This is the last chappy :( **

10 seconds later

I vair honestly can't believe he actually asked me that. I just stared at him for gazillion years. His eyes are vair gorgeous and have innocence in them that I almost was falling like a falling thing falling back under his Sex God-ish charm. Then I looked at Dave who looked vair angry and only looking at him made me snap back to normal and bring my senses back to me on my camel.

"You know what Robbie? You can piss right off! I don't get how you can even ask that! You are such a jerk, you are like the mayor of jerksville, no the creator, the top leader type person. First you reduce me to a blithering fule with your Sex God charms then you snog me then you say I am to young and dump me by a letter, telling me to date Dave which by the way was the best thing you ever did to me. Then when I feel guilty about breaking up with Dave you come swooping in finally deciding I was good enough to be your horn partner then you go to Kiwi-a-go-go land to sing to marsupials and voles while I was left here heartbroken and wondering like a lonely clud in the universe of Wondering Lonely as a Clud. Then I finally get over you and start to like someone else while in the mean time confused about Dave and when I finally got the Italian Handbag to go out with me you show up and ruin it. Then you led me on making me believe you still like me then you go out with Wet Lindsay again. Could you get any more insulting? Now just when me and Dave are starting to work things out again you come swooping in ruining my life again! No I don't want to go out with you! You are a heartless user! As soon as Lindsay dumps you, you come back to me. I will not be your rebound and besides I lurvveee Dave. Not you. You are a twat, never every ask me that again or you will find yourself hurting in a very awkward place." He just stared at me in shock. (A/N sorry for big chunk but it was essential)

"Stop staring at me you fule! Walk away and leave me alone" but he still just looked like a shockedosity thing shocked. So I walked away and walked over to Dave who was watching with his mouth open like that scream mask thingyabob. I think he was just doing it for _le comedie _value. I walked over to him and pushed his jaw up with my mouth

"Do you want to be a like a froggie catching flies in your mouth? I mean I know I am a gorgey Sex Kitty but it is freaky deaky to be stared at for a gazillion of years." He snapped out of his vair confusing stare and grinned at _moi:_

"I was just vair shockedosity at you, Gee Nicolson turning down Robbie. The original "Sex God" you have never been able to say no to him. But I have to say that little spaz attack at him was vair _tres bien and fantastique_"

'I know! I am vair geniousosity filled. But I meant it Dave, I don't want him. I want you. I lurvee you, I want to be horn partners again. My troth is ready to be shipped to you but I am waiting on yours"

Okay I have to things to say to that brain. One is why do you always make me say the vair embarrisingosity truth like a truthful type person? And two I have to praise you on your creativosity on the way you said I want to be horn partners but it is all up to him.

"I know Gee, I know" he sighed. He looked like he was vair confuzzled and tired. Poor Davey Boy. I know how he feels. "Look Gee, I am sorry for going off at you when you got attacked by the Roberto monster, and I now know that I was being stupid. I want to be horn partners again Gee, so my gorgey Kittykat will you re-give your troth to me"

Yes! Yes! And thrice yes! Shut up brain and instant message my lips to say something back.

"Of course I will be you vair silly but gorgey Biscuit!" And snogged his face off, well obvs not literally as then I wouldn't be able to snog him anymore and neither one of us would want that.

10 minutes later

Yummy scrumboes I am still snogging him for the world to see. And do I care? For the people who don't know the answer, its no, and people say I don't have any caringosity. Very cleary they are wrong as any fule can see. Yummy times a gazillion scrumboes! Ah I am so happyosity filled right now, my happyosity would break the happyosity meter!

1 minute later

We both had to break away for a breath; he rested his forehead on mine. Aww its so cute and romantic. I feel like a big ball of fluff. **Why? **You obvs don't see the cleverosity in my creativeosity. **That's because there is none genius. **Brain! You are very offending! Now I am not going to tell you my cleverosity. Suck on that. **Oo-er! **Shh you silly brain. Don't get over excitedosity you spoon! Aww I am so like a happy person who is filled with happyosity! No more cake shop of aggers! Oh I lurvee my Hornmeister!

1 minute later 

"Ah my camel is happy to have you ride on it again Kittykat, in fact it is so happy you're my horn partner again that it is doing a victory lap, I told him he looked a loon but he didn't care"

Hahaha! He is truly _le comedie _genius. I had a laughing spaz at that and so did he, so we, along with his camel looked like loons. Ah I think I have troth exchanging hysterics again. Oh god I lurve them though. Ah my life is now so groovy gravy. Oh god I sound so sappy.

"Erm BTW Kittykat, I was hanging around the park because the Barmy Army were having a footie match that I am vair late for and your Ace Gang is there so we might as well go together"

"Okey dokey" so we walked hand in hand over to the Barmy's and Aces. The girlies all just did the staring fandango at us like we were something vair amazing in a shop window, well we are vair amazingosity of course but obvs not in a shop window. Please pallie wallies don't start asking me questions like then why did you say about a shop window then because it is vair tedious. My brain comes up with randomosity which I can't control so don't blame me. Please send any enquires you may have to my brain the address is:

1 Loonosity Lane

Loon Central

Loon land

Universe of Loons.

So if you haven't gotten the fact that my brain is a loon then you are a vair slower than a snail in a "who can go the slowest competition." So vair slow for the vair confuzzled pallies out there. Anyways back to the point before my le fule of a brain interrupted, the Aces were doing the staring fandango at us while the Barmy's just yelled over "Get in there mate!" and then ran and rugby tackled us to the floor and bundled us. One word describes that. Ouch.

10 minutes later

Bloody hell, for the lurvee of Baby J, which is vair hard to get, what is it with boys and bundles? I mean do they lurve killing each other? I am about to die. No exaggeration. Why in the name of my knicker nose hammock did Sven have to jump on? He is like a giant! I can't get up because he is squashing everyone else on top of _moi. _Even when you are vair happy with troth exchanging hysterics you still can't avoid madosity Viking Reindeers attacking you. Typico.

5 minutes later

Finally after a gazillion years managed to break free from the Barmy Killing Bundle after the Barmy's decided they weren't interested in bundling me and Dave anymore and decided to play some footie instead. I went over to the Ace's who were still doing the staring fandango at _moi, _and if it has never happened to you, let me tell you it's vair annoyingosity.

"Stop staring at me you fules! I have told you a gazillion years before that my camel doesn't swing that way"

"I wouldn't want your camel to swing in my way anyway Gee as I have my gorgeous Viking Reindeer. But we were doing the staring fandango at you because we were 5 shocked agogs in Shocked Agogs Land to see you and Mr Laugh holding hands when last we heard you were on a break. Gott in himmel you are vair hard work to keep up with Gee." Typico Ro-Ro.

"Ah that's because you need to be as speedy as a speedy whatsit to keep up as I have a vair _interrestant _life you see, its like a film you gotta keep up with the action. If you were vair _tres bien et fantastique _pallies you would have called and found out."

Of course they just did the staring fandango at me again for a vair long and tedious time until Ro-Ro looked at me like I was a loon and said:

"Well are you going to tell us then?"

oh gott in himmel why do I even try? But seeing as I am in a vair good and happyosity mood I decided to promote world peace and let my nunga- nungas run free and wild, well let my mouth run free and wild really. So basically I told them what happened with Robbie and after. They all had goldfish expressions on their faces which made them all look vair unattractive which I am vair surprised they would let themselves be in front of their horn partners.

"You actually said that to Robbie?" Jas said looking like a shocked agog times a gazillion.

"Yep indeedy"

"You? The promiscuous tart who can't resist a lead singer? Who can never resist a Robbie Éclair, said no to him and insulted him? Cor, luck a duck! I still can't believe it"

This is coming from my supposed best chumlie wummlie. How vair rude! She is still calling me a tart! Even when I have quit my redbottomosity. Vair ignorance of some people is ridiculous. It is so hard to be the only cleverosity filled person. **If you are the only cleverosity filled person then we are vair doomed. **Shh brain!

"Yes Jas. I said no to him, because I lurve Dave and would never go back out with that marsupial lurver again."

"What's wrong with liking marsupial's?" and Jas went on a nature ramble for a gazillion years, somehow she thought I was still listening even though I had borrowed Rosie's IPod and put it in just to block her out. Ooh yes! She has mine and Dave's song on here, i.e. Love Story by Taylor Swift. Oh I lurve this song! I lurve her other songs as well but this reminds me of Davey the Hornmeister, so it is extra marvy.

5 minutes later

Hahaha! Watching Jas talk is vair _amusante. _She moves her mouth vair lots and vair exaggerated way.

Half hour later

Us Aces got bored of watching the Barmy's playing footie so decided to go hit the shops for some vair new fabby makeup and maybe new clothes! I called over to Dave that I was going and he came over and gave me a hug and said in my ear:

"Come round to mine at 8, I have a surprise for you"

"Ooh what is it?"

"A biscuit never reveals his secrets"

"Okaaay then but it better be vair fabby Hornmeister"

"It will be, I'm there!" he said and winked at me as he pulled out the hug and snogged me goodbye. When we finished snogging goodbye he said:

"Tatty bye Kittykat, I love you and remember never eat anything bigger than your head!"

"Au revoir and TTFN, I love you too!"

Hahaha we really are a super duper _le comedie _genius couple.

Republic 

Me and the Aces are raving in one of our fav shops. The song they have on is vair marvy and fast so we are doing lets go down the disco. I like to think that the shop workers was looking at us in admirosity and not in a "What a bunch of loons" way. We have vair fabby style if you ask me and I don't care if you didn't but you did. So Muahahahha! Ah down brain, down!

5 minutes later

Ohmygiddygodspyjamas! I have just found a purrfect top to wear with my high waisted skirt! Its purple and black and shows a bit of cleavage and has spaghetti straps that gives it the Sex Kitty edge. It's fabby! And only £15 too! Bargain! I can wear it later to Dave's with flat ballet shoes to make it not too dressy. Yes! Outfit sorted out already! Wow I may actually be ready in time to go to Dave's. I think I would be vair shockedosity.

Boots

Just got a fabby two step mascara that makes it look like you have boy entrancers on! ah how fab!

6:00pm 

Ah I have got only two hours to get ready! That is vair not enough time! Shit, Shit! I vair am going to have to rush now. It's a vair good thing I have my outfit chosen or I would spend at least an hour trying to choose an outfit. Phew!

20 minutes later

Okay so my face is now cleansed, toned, moisturised and has the base coat of foundation on along with the first layer of mascara and lip gloss. Vair good for twenty minutes if you ask me and don't be a vair saddo and say I didn't because we all know you did so shh because I need to concentrate on getting ready. Now how should I do my hair?

Straightened or curled?

1 minute later

Straightened

1 minute later

Curled

1 minute later

Straightened!

1 minute later

Curled!

1 minute later

Straightened!

7:45pm 

Makeup fresh in place, perfume is fresh, hair curled exactly how I want it. Purrfect. Ah I am so excitedosity filled right now! I don't even know what we are doing yet. I could be vair too dressed up for it but oh well I am sure Davey wont mind!.

8:01pm 

Why in the name of Baby J's socks with sandals am I always never exactly on time? It's vair rudey. I bet that time speeds up so I look vair late when actually I am on time like an on time person. Yep I got you all figured out time. Shut up brain! I do not want to be going on about time when I am with Dave. Gott in himmel I do not need him having second thoughts because my brain is a loon and fule. Well he is just as loonosity as _moi _so I shouldn't worry too much.

8:05 pm – At the Biscuit Tin

Finally got to Dave's Biscuit Tin. Ooh all the lights are off. I hope he hasn't forgotten and gone out. I rang the door bell anyway and Dave's mutti opened the door and smiled at me.

"Hello lovie, Davey Boys in the kitchen, he told me to bring you in. Huh its quite rudey really getting orders from my Biscuit Son. But oh well seeing as I am brimming with niceosity, follow me"

I just laughed. Oh his mutti Lucy is so vair funny. I followed her and walked into the kitchen.

The table was set fancy and romantic with candles, a rose and glasses. There were cutie fairy lights up overlooking the table so there was a warm light over the table. Dave was standing their looking bloody gorgeous in a black shirt with a white tie, black jeans and converses. He look towards his mutti who sighed and went to stand over by the cooker. Dave pulled out my chair for me and I sat down. Then he sat down as well as his mutti put a plate in front of us each and filled up our glasses with champagne.

Aww this was so sweet.

"Oh Dave, this is so sweet"

"I know, does the Biscuit offer any less? But seriously this is to celebrate us being horn partners again" I just smiled at him. he said to dig in so I looked at my plate and saw that it was sausage risotto which I had mentioned to him as being my favourite ever since Jas's mum had cooked it for me.

"Aw Dave, I can't believe you remembered that this was my favourite meal"

"I remember everything you say." Aww. We finished the rest of our dinner in silence, shooting each other smiles. I noticed Dave seemed a bit nervous, so I reached over and entwined my hand with his and said:

"What's up doc?" hoping to get a laugh out him. He did laugh but then he looked all serious again. Suddenly he got down on one knee and said:

"Georgia, you are my best friend, my girlfriend, the only person I have really lurved. I would do anything for you. You make me so happy Gee, you don't understand how happy you make me. I am still amazed that you are finally mine. I have lurved you for a long time Gee and I lurve you more everyday. You're beautiful, funny, loving and a bit of a loon but I lurve you. I know we are only sixteen but I cant imagine spending my life with anyone but you. I was going to do this on our first date but I thought it was too early but now seems like the perfect time so Georgia Nicolson, will you marry me?"

Ohmygiddygod! Wow I am shockedosity central! But I know my answer.

"Yes of coursey indeedy I will be!"

He grinned and snogged me for a long time. When we broke apart he slipped a vair fabby and gorgey engagement ring onto my finger just as his mutti and two sisters came bursting in. His mutti screamed happily and gave us both two gigantibus hugs, Lizzie hugged us both and said to me have I gone madosity central to want to marry him and I said yes which seemed like a good enough answer for her. Cadie didn't seem to know what was happening so she just hugged our legs. I have just gone to Happyosity Land and I vair hope I am staying their for a vair long time.

Midnight 

Ah I am happily in Dave's arms as we are both dozing of to Boboland. What a marvy day! I get back with Dave and then he proposes to me! Ah this is the bestest day ever! I will never be able to sleep with all the excitedosity I am filled with right now…zzzzzzzzzzzz

10:00 am 

Woke up to Dave lightly snogging me and hugging me.

"Good morning future Mrs Laugh"

"Good morning to you too Mr Laugh"

"What should we do today then?"

"Well I want to go tell the Aces and Barmy's"

"Vair marvy with me" then I snogged him for a gazillion years.

12:00 pm – park 

Sitting here with the Barmy's and Aces all just doing the staring fandango at each other. Dave being the vair marvy boyfriend he is broke the silence and said:

"Erm me and Gee have some news: We're engaged!" and held up my hand with the engagement ring on that I had been hiding before then.

The Aces squealed with delight and were drooling over my engagement ring while the Barmy's clapped Dave on the back and teased him saying have all your fun now mate before you sell your soul and all that stuff. He just laughed and grinned at me. Once everyone had settled down Ro-Ro said while grinning:

"Well me and Sven have some news as well"

"Oh god, you're not getting hitched as well are you?" asked Ed.

"Nope. I am having a baby." We all just did the staring fandango at her for a few moments before all us girls broke out into squeals asking questions like when its due and all that and the boys clapped Sven on the back congratulating him and also asking in some sneaky whispers what number 10'ing was like. Typico boys.

Wow. My life is perfect right now. It's like my own fairytale has come true. But what I wonder and yes you are probably thinking Gee being all wise like a wise owl? But what I am thinking is, is this my happily ever after or the calm before the storm?

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

**Waah! My first ever fanfiction is done :( boohoo! Please review :) also look out for an authors note because I may be doing a sequel to this. :D **


	16. Authors Note

**Authors note! **

**Sorry I know you probably hate authors notes but I just wanted to say this: **

**Thank you to: Earth Kid Tree Hugger, iluvurandom, xcoffesionsandtwilightismex, youreyesforvrgluedtomine and clumbsy clara for your reviews :D so appreciated and made me really happy. Great happy lift from when I was a tad sad :D**

**Also thanks to Earth Kid Tree Hugger who has listened to me ramble on and has given me inspiration for some of these chappys and has been big help. Also thanks to her for beta-ing Pants and Pantaloons. **

**I have got some of a sequel planned to this but this wont be uploaded until after pants and pantaloons is done. **

**Thank you to you marvy readers, subscribers and people who added this story to favourites **

**Lurve you all in a non lezzie way, **

**Hornmeister Lover. **


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